Tuesday could honestly be seen as uneventful. Truthfully, the largest amount of my day was spent getting my phone activated and set up properly. So yes, I do, officially, have a Korean phone number. God provided! I had no doubt he would, he just didn't do it in the amount of time I anticipated he would. But I'm well aware of the fact that he doesn't have to follow a set time frame by me. And honestly, after the events Monday, I think it was the perfect time. He built me up by doing so.
I had no class to teach yesterday, so I mostly spent time in the office, writing the marathon blog I wrote yesterday, talking with people, and grabbed a snack of ice cream and coffee after lunch.
Joseph and I had a nice talk yesterday. We also walked around the Isu area yesterday, and wound up going to an LG store. He wanted to look at new laptops, and we bumped into the bleeding edge in laptop technology - 3D laptops. It was just...mindblowing. They were displaying movie previews, game previews, and SNSD music videos all in 3D, and it truly showcased the platform's power. It definitely blows what we used to call 3D out of the water some 20 years ago.
I hadn't tried the latest 3D technology yet. I hadn't seen Avatar in 3D, nor any of the other gimmick movies in 3D since Avatar's release. So I had no clue how this technology worked. I honestly expected it to be a waste. But it honestly is mindblowing. I would say it's either on par or close to the 3D attractions at Disney World (Muppetvision/Honey I Shrunk the Audience). Nearby, they were showcasing 3DTVs, and if the laptops were good, watching airplanes just pull up right in front of your nose and looking almost life-size was mesmerizing.
My only complaint with the technology would have to be the requirement to wear glasses, and the subsequent eyestrain that follows with using them for extended periods of time. I've also heard that headaches can occur with prolonged usage. Plus, the price point. For the TVs, it was like $10,000 for a TV that can receive a picture with the distortion required to make the technology work? Pfft.
Not that I was planning on purchasing at all, but it was nice, of course, to see.
We headed back toward Durihana, and ran into one of the girls here heading for the pharmacy, clutching her stomach and grimacing. Joseph asked her, and she did have a bad stomachache. But she was in a hurry to get there, and we didn't talk long. But it was in the back of my mind, and I felt like I was supposed to pray for her. Of course, she was gone in a hurry, and I just shrugged it off for then.
After a couple hours, I was in my room watching a movie on my laptop, and relaxing, when I saw her walk by my room, with the same pained expression on her face clutching her stomach still.
I walked downstairs to find her in the kitchen area, laying down on a bench clutching her stomach. I knew. It was time to pray. I went to find Joseph, and asked him her name (Su-mi) and if he would go help me tell her that I wanted to pray for her. She isn't in my class, so I don't think she knew any English. And he was excited to.
We went out from the office, to see her heading back upstairs toward her room, and caught her. He asked if I could pray for her, and she said that was fine, slumped down in a chair, and I laid hands and started to pray. Joseph prayed with me, I believe in English. I honestly don't think she knew a single word I prayed, just that she trusted that I was praying for her stomach to be healed. At the end of it, I felt compelled to tell her to give God thanks, even if it hurts now, that her stomach was being healed. And she did, and went back to her dorm. I didn't see her again that day.
When I saw her this afternoon at lunch, she looked better, and I asked her if her stomach was better with hand signals, and she nodded, and did her best to tell me thanks in English. It was such a blessing to see it happen. I know it was God, and not a placebo. How could someone, who has no clue what I'm praying, just be healed like that through a placebo? Sometimes I've been prayed for, and questioned whether my healing was a placebo effect of reacting to what was being spoken. But she couldn't do that. She couldn't understand one iota of what I prayed. It's just powerful how God is confirming my faith through my doings here.
This morning, I went to their early morning prayer meeting at 5am. I don't do anything at 5am, so it was a battle. I was also told it wasn't required that I go, but I went. While I was there, I felt compelled to pray over the sanctuary for revival, then pray over the classrooms and all the dorm rooms, then went back to sleep.
I'm honestly feeling like I'll see the effects of this prayer in my time here. If I don't, I'm sure I will hear reports from Joseph later. But all I know is God is getting ready to move here.
Today I did have class. We went over the words a/the in English. There isn't an actual equivalent to this in Korean. The closest you get is the 이/가/은/는/을/를 particles in Korean, but they barely come close to a/the. So, when I felt frustrated studying the aforementioned Korean particles, I expected them to be the same with a/the. However, they seemed to pick it up ok. We'll see later if they did, but they didn't seem to have any questions regarding it. I also introduced related terms like "a couple/a few/some/a lot," which are pivotal in knowing the usage of a/the.
We also went over basic sentence structure, one of the things they wanted and needed to learn. This is quite the opposite in Korean. Korean sentences typically go subject + object + verb. The verb is ALWAYS last in Korean. In English, the basic structure is of course subject + verb + object. Another difference in Korean is the subject is often understood, and omitted, which cannot happen in English, lest we have a fragmented sentence. So I had to stress to always write the subject in English. It seemed to make sense to them. The one male in the class really tried to take the cake, and got really close. In fact, I was impressed at even his attempt at this.
We were discussing the sentence: "I found the ______," and using different nouns to complete it. Then suddenly, he says "Teacher, I have a question." Then he asks me if the following was right: "I found the my friends." He was attempting to use possessive nouns, but he didn't realize that a/the are dropped in this case, but what an effort. He understood the concept, and narrowly missed in application. They are all bright, but he may honestly be the smartest in there, and is bold enough to take giant leaps like this to learn faster. I'm trying not to play favorites, but he may be teacher's pet now.
Just had lunch and now I'm chilling for a while. Did laundry yesterday too, and it was an adventure...to say the least. First off, all they do is wash their clothes, then hang them to dry. And the washing machines have so many knobs, toggles, and buttons that I'm scared to touch anything. I had Joseph help me, and he showed me to just press the power button, and press one other button, and he said that's it.
...what a kidder. I went up there, on the phone with my mom, to take my clothes out to hang them. I found it flashing up a notice, and any attempt to open the washer door was diverted by the fact that it was locked. Suddenly, my clothes are stuck in a perpetual purgatory of being clean and dirty. One of the older women here came and helped me. Any time that it flashes that up, I have to hit the start button again for it to start another cycle. Not sure why it just doesn't start the next cycle automatically, but whatever. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle.
So that attempt at laundry turned into a half-day ordeal, and i wound up hanging up my clothes before bed to dry.
Went to dinner last night with Yoonmi. We headed to Popeye's. Now everyone who knows me knows I can eat my weight in fried chicken, and if you put me near a Popeye's, then it's game over for me. People who don't know me personally at this point might try to guess my ethnicity from these statements, but if we're going by stereotypes, I hate watermelon. Enough said.
When I found out they have Popeye's here in Seoul, I knew I was going to have to go there. And my mom was sufficiently jealous over the fact that I was going. And I was told by a coworker to find out how it is. I think people would be in shock about the differences.
The chicken was great. It was just as spicy and juicy as the American counterpart, and I devoured it. Yoonmi approved. The biscuits were just as good, and fluffy, as the American version. But something didn't sit quite right, like something was missing. I couldn't place my finger on it, OH WAIT...yeah I could.
THEY DON'T SERVE CAJUN RICE OR MASHED POTATOES! I almost gave myself an aneurysm trying to comprehend this, especially the cajun rice part. One of the spiciest things on the Popeye's menu, a staple food of Korean cuisine, and they don't serve it. This is so much of an irony, the Alanis Morisette is probably, right this moment, kicking herself for writing Ironic 16 years too early.
I mean, I can MAYBE understand mashed potatoes. As much as Koreans eat potatoes, I have yet to see mashed potatoes anywhere here. So that could be expected. But the dirty rice not being there? I already feel a headache coming on just talking about it. That's what makes Popeye's! I could eat a gallon of dirty rice by itself, and it's not here.
But what they DID have was "Cajun Salad." I use those words in quotes because it was neither Cajun, nor a salad. It wasn't a salad because it looked like a gelatinous glob of puree vegetables that you would find in Lunchladyland. And it wasn't cajun because it was spicy, at all. Yet another irony in Korea. It tasted more sweet than anything, and sweet isn't Cajun. Cajun is where you put peppers in the mix until you can't fit any more peppers in the mix, then you top it off with hot sauce. THAT'S Cajun. Cajun doesn't taste like a giant sweet potato filled with random veggies. I'm not even from Louisiana and I'm taking offense.
I approved of the food, but once again, it just hurt me in places I don't understand not to be able to have dirty rice at Popeye's, because it just simply didn't exist. To me, it's like bringing Cracker Barrel here, and not including fried okra on the menu.
I digress. We ate, and ate well, then we decided on what to do the rest of the night. Yoonmi was tired, and really didn't want to do something major, or anything with a lot of people. Once again. We were near the Namsangol Hanok village, somewhere we went last year. It was around 8 at night, and they are "closed" on Tuesdays. However, this closed I think just meant they don't do any of the displays they did when we visited last year, because the gates were wide open, and the lights were on, and people were still walking around. So we headed in, and sat near a pond, and just sat there for about 2 hours, talking, and relaxing together. It was so quiet. On occasion, someone would come sit down near us, but for the most part, it was just us sitting there. Absolutely relaxing. We could watch the fish in the pond swimming and jumping out of the water. We were sitting behind a traditional Korean gazebo. Just absolutely beautiful.
After that, I took her home, and then headed home myself, with a can of Pocari and some squid chips.
I really did a lot of backtracking to talk about everything that happened in the last 24 hours, more tonight. A lot more tonight.
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Monday, June 06, 2011
Pushing through
Last time I posted was Friday after lunch. Today is Tuesday, just after breakfast. So why the long delay?
Let's just say I've been frustrated. And I'll try to convey what happened in this blog.
So, Friday, after I posted my last entry, Joseph and I went with the phone I was given to activate it at KT. What happened next was the teetering point for this last few days.
We handed the phone over to the associate at KT. Within a split second she says, "No, we can't activate this phone. This is a 2G phone. We are discontinuing 2G service. We can only activate 3G or 4G phones. Maybe if you went to China, could you activate this phone."
Joseph apologized profusely, and said he would start looking for a phone. I went toward a cafe, frustrated. I was excited. I would finally be able to call mom. And I could call Joseph or Durihana if I got lost, or had a question. Or I could hear from Yoonmi without having to loiter around wherever I managed to get an open wifi connection. But nope, I had that snatched out from under me.
When I got to the cafe, I tried logging into their encrypted network using their WPA key, only to have the service NOT work for the first 10-20 minutes. This further served to frustrate me. However, the closer I got to the bar, the better my service was, so I just hung around the free computer, asking around on Facebook and searching Craigslist for a phone. No dice. I started talking to Yoonmi, venting my frustration over the situation. Her response: "Why do you need a phone?"
I explained to her I didn't want one just to have one, but I wanted to hear my mom's voice, etc. etc. Then she stuck her foot in her mouth. I won't go into any further detail, but I got mad. I tried explaining it, but she was busy at work and not responding. So I just stopped trying, and headed back towards Durihana.
When I got back, she was talking to me again, saying she was going to come visit me after church. By that time, I was still angry, and just told her it was her choice whether she comes or not. I know I sounded petulant, but at that point, I was having a hard time not being so.
Church was good. It helped to alleviate my frustration. I was so frustrated that I forgot about eating dinner. I was hungry, but willing to just forego my dinner. However, Pastor Chun apparently wouldn't have it. Without even knowing I hadn't eaten, he asks me to join him for some Ramyeon (Korean style ramen - super spicy). And I did.
It was here that I met the rest of the worship team I would be playing with. I already knew Gwangjin, and some of the singers. I also met Seol, the pianist -- very talented. During worship, she's been the biggest asset to me. Also very friendly, and has invited me to visit her university at some point while I'm here.
I remember when learning, I was taught that bass is the backbone of the worship team. If we mess up, the drummer gets off rhythm, and the whole thing goes out of whack. After eating, we went back upstairs to the sanctuary, and Seol set me up with a copy of the music. Sheet music: something I haven't touched since I was at SIC. Even worse was the fact that it was on a treble clef, I was playing bass, and I forgot how to read the treble clef. However, the guitar chords were listed, so that was a help for me.
However, I still struggled. If I hadn't been following Seol, I would've been lost completely. I got a few songs easily, but a couple, I just couldn't play. Even following Seol wasn't working - the way she played the chords were, for me, making it difficult to hear the root chord. I felt embarrassed to even be up there.
After worship, Pastor Chun had the refugees share about their lives in South Korea. I only had bits and pieces interpreted, but they said that adjusting to here had been difficult. They had faced discrimination amongst South Koreans. Even though they share the same DNA and blood and family history, because they are North Korean, act North Korean, and speak North Korean, they don't fit in to South Koreans' mold for this nation. To put it in perspective, that would be like someone from Texas going to New York to visit family, and being outcasted for speaking too Southern. But even that doesn't do it justice. It's just something you have to be here to understand.
When church ended, I was introduced to two visitors at the church. One was a trader with an Italian firm. The other was a medical researcher at a university here in Seoul. Both wanted to meet with me.
We went up to the office to meet. They all wanted to support me in some way. I was able to tell them about my vision for North Korea, and my desire to help out. They each asked for my e-mail. They wanted to keep in touch with me. The trader wants me to meet him today to meet his colleagues, and says he will e-mail me today. Haven't heard from him yet, but I'm expecting it.
The researcher said he will be praying, and asked me to pray for him too, for his success and that God would be blessed in his work. For some reason, I just felt led to pray for him there. And he reached out his hands for me to pray. Normally, in Korea, you rarely lay hands to pray. But in this moment, I just couldn't restrain myself, and laid hands on him, and prayed. And you could tell it meant everything to him.
When I finished, Joseph was just in awe. He talked about how what I did took him back to college. He said that in college, they used to lay hands all the time, but not anymore. I think it excited him.
After that, I went to Isu station to meet with Yoonmi, for a grand total of 10 minutes. She made (not asked) me to call my mom. I got the voice mail, left a message, and then talked to Yoonmi some. Then it was time for her to go home.
Saturday, I met Yoonmi to go to a wedding. And warp speed, Mr. Zulu, that wedding was over seemingly faster than the opening procession lasts in the states. At the end of it, I recall looking at Yoonmi and saying, "Don't tell me it's already over." I had been in 2-3 hour church services here, and the wedding lasted 20 minutes. Guiness is currently reviewing it for the shortest wedding ever.
After that, we were at a loss for what to do. So, we opted to eat while we decide, and went for Pho (Vietnamese noodles). I had heard good things, and had never been anywhere that I had the luxury of trying it. Yoonmi had constantly proclaimed it as one of her favorite things to eat, and had heavy doses of the stuff when she lived in Hawaii. And after eating it, I understood why. It was quite delicious. I had chicken pho, while Yoonmi opted for seafood, and it was truly a solid decision. Would eat again.
After that, we were still figuring out where to go. A movie was out of the question, nothing good on. I suggested Dream Park, near her apartment, or Itaewon (like she had suggested earlier in the week). She objected, saying she wanted to go someplace quiet. Then I suggested a library, and she thought that was too quiet.
She did a quick search on her phone, and said "We're going to Anguk." I just went with it. Better not to ask questions and just roll with it. I'm glad I didn't.
What I found there was probably the most beautiful area I've ever seen anywhere in the world. I think going there will have left me underwhelmed at any point in my life now. Anguk's main streets have lots of shops, but most of them have a traditional Korean-style architecture instead of the standard buildings nowadays. Once you get off that main street however, that's when things get amazing. It becomes row after row of Korean traditional style houses (with modern conveniences like electricity and running water added). Even with power lines and the sound of construction, you can just walk through this area and feel like you've been transported 100-200 years back in time to the Korea of yesteryear. Then within a split second, you can turn around, and look down a street, and see a landscape of these beautiful traditional houses sprawling across this area, then watch them fade into the Korean cityscape of downtown Seoul, with Namsan peeking up in the background. Never have I seen such a beautiful view in my life.
I will post pictures, but they just don't do it justice. Just absolutely amazing. I could've stayed in Anguk all day.
We went to eat. We were going to eat bulgogi with squid, but couldn't find a place that sells it. Our search took us from Anguk to Insadong -- a familiar place to me from last time. However, even in the familiarity of Insadong, I got an eyefull. On a stage (Where last time I had my picture taken with Korean palace guards), we found traditional performers -- a comedy act and a singing troupe, with accompanyment by Korean traditional instruments. It was quite the sound. I could've honestly listened all day.
As we delved further into Insadong, we found a HUGE commotion in a side street, and went to see what it was. What I found was something just amazing -- Tae Kyun matches. At first glance, I thought it was Tae Kwon Do, but it wasn't. And it is quite different than Tae Kwon Do, sharing more of a resemblance to capoiera than Tae Kwon Do. And despite the focus on kicks and grabs, with no punches, this is one of the most exciting things I've witnessed. I have a video that I will later upload on Youtube to emphasize this, but it was a sight to behold.
Finally we found a place to eat - a bibimbap restaurant. This now holds a place as one of my favorites, so I was more than happy to partake in some bibimbap. Looked at the menu, and found SHRIMP bibimbap. I also found galbi bibimbap, and had to flip a coin between the two. Shrimp won, and shrimp was good. For the first time, I outate Yoonmi.
However, after dinner, Yoonmi and I parted ways. She was tired and still needed to study. We both went home. And this happy day came to an end. Once again I was alone.
Sunday, I felt yet another effect of jetlag, and struggled to stay awake in church. I found myself nodding off several times.
We had lunch at church. After eating, we're supposed to take our dishes back to the sink to be washed, and we scrape off our scraps into a scrap bucket. After I dropped off my dishes, I turned to walk out of the sink area. There was some water where I stepped, and wound up slipping and landing on my left shoulder. Seol (who was washing dishes) turned around to see if I was ok, and I thought I was, just embarrassed.
However, I started walking upstairs, and moving my shoulder around, and it was tight. Still kind of hurts, probably need to go to the pharmacy for some heat wraps soon.
Come closer to church, we practiced some more, and once again, I was screwing up ever so consistently. I was getting REALLY frustrated with myself. Hana (one of the singers) kept trying to help me find my place in the music, but it only served to embarrass me. I appreciated the effort, but the more I tried, the more frustrated I got.
It's been a long time since I've played in church. I usually only practice now when I feel like it. So part of the reason I struggled is my own fault. However, there is one thing I will remember from my bass lessons with Jimmy Tharp. Despite his shortcomings, what he said stuck with me: "When I play bass, this is my weapon against Satan. Every note is like a gunshot to his heart if we are using it to glorify God. So always pray before you play."
And suddenly, that came to me. And while we were praying for the service, I was saying my own prayers to God. I didn't want to embarrass myself, or let the church down. I was torn between sitting down or staying. But I asked God to bless my hands because my brain certainly wasn't processing what I needed to play. It had to be him playing right now, not me.
And that's what happened. I barely screwed up at all during worship service. I attributed it all to God. It's the only way that could happen.
Once again I struggled to stay awake during the sermon for afternoon service. It was good, and the speaker (not Pastor Chun) was anointed. But I was so jetlagged it wasn't even funny.
After church, I went upstairs and took an hour nap. I woke up, and walked around for a while, waiting for Yoonmi to tell me what time to go meet her at Coex. I continued to feel alone. I wanted to talk to people at Durihana, but was so scared to. If their English is limited, they couldn't understand me, and if I said something wrong in Korean, I could really ruin my witness on accident. It was just frustrating. I just sat in the park across the street from Durihana, watching people, and reading the Bible until it was time to leave for Samsung station.
Once I got there, I waited for about 5 minutes for Yoonmi, only to find she was waiting outside of my visibility behind a column. She had already eaten, but wanted me to eat, so we walked around the food court looking for something appetizing. I settled on sushi rolls with cheese in them, and soy sauce soup. Was pretty good. We talked about our church services. I mentioned briefly how I felt. She didn't say much about that.
Since we couldn't eat together, and she had to go home, I decided I would take the train to Miasamgeori to take her home. I walked her to her apartment, then left to catch the bus...the first time I had taken the bus in Korea alone.
The way they announce stops on the buses is different than the subway. When I was here last year, it sounded like pure, unadulterated gibberish to me. Even on the way to her apartment, it sounded the same. When I got on the bus by myself, I was worried I wouldn't hear my station name, that it would just sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. However, my ears just opened (out of necessity) to what was being said, and was able to get to the right station, pick up some manjoo to snack on while I was heading back to Durihana, and subsequently arrive home safely.
Monday was Memorial Day here. A national holiday. And Yoonmi had to work. I didn't. Joseph didn't, so he didn't get to Durihana until later in the day. So that leaves me as the veritable turd in the punch bowl. I couldn't even have my mom call the office, as it was locked up. If I felt alone the other days, I REALLY felt alone Monday. And of course, I had no phone to find out if anyone from Durihana was doing or wanted to do something. I had to fight to even leave my room. I wound up having a worship service in my bedroom floor, just me and God. I started to feel better after that, and went downstairs to practice bass. I also decided to buy a guitar strap, as they had no strap for the bass there. I asked Yoonmi where I could find a music store, and she guessed Insadong. She also told me to meet her at 2PM for lunch in Sinseoldong, where she works. Joseph arrived, and unlocked the office, so I had my mom call.
When she called, the brevity of the distance between us just became evident, and whatever high I experienced during worship plummeted. I vented to her, and she asked if I would talk to Yoonmi about this, and I told her it wouldn't do any good. I soon left to go meet Yoonmi.
I got to Sinseoldong 10 minutes early. Which is fine, I'm early getting anywhere. I bumped into some kids at the subway exit, and they were excited to meet a foreigner and speak English. They were somewhere between 7-9 years old, and really friendly, and spoke English well for little Korean kids. They soon parted, and the joy I experienced talking to them diminished back into the loneliness that I was experiencing.
I looked at my clock, and found an open wifi connection. Noon. I send a message to Yoonmi asking if we were going to meet inside or outside of the exit. No reply. Ask again, no reply. I sit down midway up the stairs, she comes up and nudges me. 15 minutes after we were supposed to meet. In my frustration and loneliness, I grew impatient. I was upset. She asked why I felt bad. I told her it was because I'm white.
We head to lunch, and where she wanted to eat, I couldn't find anything appetizing. She offered to go somewhere else, by then, we had already wasted so much time. This made me more frustrated. I wanted to eat with her and have a good time with her on her lunch break, and I made her not be able to eat, and I was miserable, and I was making her feel bad. She kept apologizing. All of this, unless I say otherwise, was in Korean:
Yoonmi: Sorry.
Me: ....
Yoonmi: Sorry.
Me: Stop.
Yoonmi: Sorry.
Me: Quit doing that!
Yoonmi: What?
Me: Saying you're sorry.
Yoonmi: Why?
Me: I don't want to hear it.
Yoonmi: Why?
Me: Because you're not sorry.
Yoonmi: Really, I'm sorry.
Me: (In English) For what?! Me being American?
Yoonmi: (English) That I had to work.
Me: (English) It's not your fault.
Yoonmi: Are you hungry?
Me: Yeah, but...
Yoonmi: But what?
Me: But you eat. Nothing looks good to me, you should eat.
Yoonmi: What about you?
Me: I'll eat later.
Yoonmi: Corey, please eat.
Me: No, you eat.
Yoonmi: ...
Me: I want to go home.
Yoonmi: To Harrisburg?
Me: Yeah.
Yoonmi: ...
We exit the restaurant, and are standing outside a subway station at this point. A
Yoonmi: What's wrong?
Me: I'm American. That's what's wrong. I'm standing here in Korea, surrounded by Koreans. I feel like a freak of nature. I can't speak Korean. No one speaks English to me. If you or Joseph aren't around me, I'm utterly and totally alone! (by this point I'm yelling, and people are staring, but I'm so frustrated, I don't care)
Yoonmi: I understand...
Me: No! Don't pretend that you understand! You don't know how this feels. Everywhere you've lived, Hawaii, Kyrgyzstan, you've been around Koreans all the time. Even when you went to the Philippines and Uganda, you were with Koreans! The only time you've been around no one who spoke your language was when you came to visit me in November. And I was with you at all times, so you could at least talk with me. So don't you act like you know how this feels, because you don't. I feel like I could scream here, and not a single person would understand me or try to help at all. You don't know how it feels to walk around talking to yourself in a foreign country because there's no one else to talk to you, and you feel like you need to talk to someone.
Yoonmi: But I do. When I was Japan, no one to talk to. No one taught me how to use the trains or buses. Same in Hawaii, at first everyone was busy. I didn't know anyone, so I spent a lot of time alone. I really understand.
And my foot was in my mouth. We headed back to where she had originally wanted to eat. By then, it was too late to eat, and I had turned my stomach into knots during my spiel. I just asked her to pray for me in the restaurant, and she did. And then we both grabbed some coffee, and that's it. That's all we had time for by then. I felt horrible that I made her miss her lunch. But she assured me she had bread to eat at work.
Feeling bad, I walked her back to work, and talked more on the way. On the way, we passed by a large flea market on the streets. I made a note of this mentally. I dropped her off, hugged her, and told her I loved her, and she told me to have a good day. I told her I would try.
I left and headed back towards the flea market. I decided to try to find a guitar strap here, as it would be cheaper than going to Insadong to buy one. And I failed miserably at this task. I crossed the street to go back toward the subway (and wound up on the wrong side, having to cross later). However, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
I walked by another booth at the flea market, of a guy selling nothing but cell phones and cell phone batteries. Sitting on top of this pile of cell phones was a like new touch screen phone, maybe a year or two old at most. I turned it on to find it not only worked perfectly, but had a full battery. I couldn't tell at that point if it was 3G. Only way was to ask.
The shop owner didn't speak English, but a customer beside me did, and translated. It was 3G, in good condition, for 30,000won, about $30. I thought about it strongly, prayed about it, and pulled out a 50,000 note, then just trusted God that he provided a cell phone. Then I headed toward Insadong.
As soon as I got into Insadong, at the first shop I found, it was a music store. I walked in, and as soon as I entered, found guitar straps. One for 15,000, job 2 completed. Walked around for a little bit before heading back, and someone wearing hanbok just randomly hands me a small Korean flag. For some reason, other than finding the strap and the phone, this cheered me up immensely. I then headed back toward Isu.
When I got to Isu, I found Joseph, and showed him the phone, which he confirmed was 3G, which meant I officially had a phone that could be activated! Hallelujah. We ate, then I went upstairs to practice for worship service. Seol was late, so Gwangjin, Hana, the rest of the singers, and myself practiced alongside a CD of the songs we were doing until she did arrive. Then we ran through other songs. Someone else (don't know his name) showed up to play acoustic guitar, and we prayed and were off.
And God just anointed the worship service. It was just powerful. And I no longer fumbled around. I think the combination of my frustration just being gone, and the fact that I prayed and practiced, and even the fact that I was standing up playing (which is how I play best), just allowed for me to play with the enthusiasm I needed to. And it radiated throughout the worship service. Everyone could tell that with me finally clicking with the worship team, that there was a drastic improvement in the dynamic. I would see Gwangjin in song breaks giving me thumbs up, Seol did the same after we finished.
One girl sang a special. Then they asked me to get up and speak with interpretation about how I came to be here. I was able to pour out my heart over this time. Then Joseph got up to lead prayer. This was done harp & bowl style, but I'm not totally sure whether that was planned or not. If it happens again, I'll tell you. All I know is Seol was already at the keyboard playing, then I see Gwangjin moving toward the drums, and I couldn't help but follow suit toward the bass. And Hana moved towards the microphone, and in breaks during prayer she would sing, but we were constantly playing throughout the service.
I could look out in the crowd and see everyone just so enthralled with the prayer and the worship. It was just so strong. Joseph's prayers were just so anointed. I couldn't tell you anything he said at that point, but when you feel it, it doesn't matter what the language was. We must have played for about an hour. It certainly felt like it. But it was amazing.
After service, we went downstairs to rejoice by having a "snack." Or that's what Seol said to me. To be brutally honest, for me, it could've been a meal, as it was a dozen sushi rolls per person. Absolutely perfect way to end the night, and we were all ready to go upstairs to sleep.
I'll tell you that today, I woke up carrying over the feeling from last night. It certainly is an improvement. And now I have a phone. I don't have to loiter around open wifi points just to communicate now.
I'll talk more about today later. But just wanted to give you a long overdue update.
Pictures and video will come soon too. Just praise God, everything went from bad to good.
Let's just say I've been frustrated. And I'll try to convey what happened in this blog.
So, Friday, after I posted my last entry, Joseph and I went with the phone I was given to activate it at KT. What happened next was the teetering point for this last few days.
We handed the phone over to the associate at KT. Within a split second she says, "No, we can't activate this phone. This is a 2G phone. We are discontinuing 2G service. We can only activate 3G or 4G phones. Maybe if you went to China, could you activate this phone."
Joseph apologized profusely, and said he would start looking for a phone. I went toward a cafe, frustrated. I was excited. I would finally be able to call mom. And I could call Joseph or Durihana if I got lost, or had a question. Or I could hear from Yoonmi without having to loiter around wherever I managed to get an open wifi connection. But nope, I had that snatched out from under me.
When I got to the cafe, I tried logging into their encrypted network using their WPA key, only to have the service NOT work for the first 10-20 minutes. This further served to frustrate me. However, the closer I got to the bar, the better my service was, so I just hung around the free computer, asking around on Facebook and searching Craigslist for a phone. No dice. I started talking to Yoonmi, venting my frustration over the situation. Her response: "Why do you need a phone?"
I explained to her I didn't want one just to have one, but I wanted to hear my mom's voice, etc. etc. Then she stuck her foot in her mouth. I won't go into any further detail, but I got mad. I tried explaining it, but she was busy at work and not responding. So I just stopped trying, and headed back towards Durihana.
When I got back, she was talking to me again, saying she was going to come visit me after church. By that time, I was still angry, and just told her it was her choice whether she comes or not. I know I sounded petulant, but at that point, I was having a hard time not being so.
Church was good. It helped to alleviate my frustration. I was so frustrated that I forgot about eating dinner. I was hungry, but willing to just forego my dinner. However, Pastor Chun apparently wouldn't have it. Without even knowing I hadn't eaten, he asks me to join him for some Ramyeon (Korean style ramen - super spicy). And I did.
It was here that I met the rest of the worship team I would be playing with. I already knew Gwangjin, and some of the singers. I also met Seol, the pianist -- very talented. During worship, she's been the biggest asset to me. Also very friendly, and has invited me to visit her university at some point while I'm here.
I remember when learning, I was taught that bass is the backbone of the worship team. If we mess up, the drummer gets off rhythm, and the whole thing goes out of whack. After eating, we went back upstairs to the sanctuary, and Seol set me up with a copy of the music. Sheet music: something I haven't touched since I was at SIC. Even worse was the fact that it was on a treble clef, I was playing bass, and I forgot how to read the treble clef. However, the guitar chords were listed, so that was a help for me.
However, I still struggled. If I hadn't been following Seol, I would've been lost completely. I got a few songs easily, but a couple, I just couldn't play. Even following Seol wasn't working - the way she played the chords were, for me, making it difficult to hear the root chord. I felt embarrassed to even be up there.
After worship, Pastor Chun had the refugees share about their lives in South Korea. I only had bits and pieces interpreted, but they said that adjusting to here had been difficult. They had faced discrimination amongst South Koreans. Even though they share the same DNA and blood and family history, because they are North Korean, act North Korean, and speak North Korean, they don't fit in to South Koreans' mold for this nation. To put it in perspective, that would be like someone from Texas going to New York to visit family, and being outcasted for speaking too Southern. But even that doesn't do it justice. It's just something you have to be here to understand.
When church ended, I was introduced to two visitors at the church. One was a trader with an Italian firm. The other was a medical researcher at a university here in Seoul. Both wanted to meet with me.
We went up to the office to meet. They all wanted to support me in some way. I was able to tell them about my vision for North Korea, and my desire to help out. They each asked for my e-mail. They wanted to keep in touch with me. The trader wants me to meet him today to meet his colleagues, and says he will e-mail me today. Haven't heard from him yet, but I'm expecting it.
The researcher said he will be praying, and asked me to pray for him too, for his success and that God would be blessed in his work. For some reason, I just felt led to pray for him there. And he reached out his hands for me to pray. Normally, in Korea, you rarely lay hands to pray. But in this moment, I just couldn't restrain myself, and laid hands on him, and prayed. And you could tell it meant everything to him.
When I finished, Joseph was just in awe. He talked about how what I did took him back to college. He said that in college, they used to lay hands all the time, but not anymore. I think it excited him.
After that, I went to Isu station to meet with Yoonmi, for a grand total of 10 minutes. She made (not asked) me to call my mom. I got the voice mail, left a message, and then talked to Yoonmi some. Then it was time for her to go home.
Saturday, I met Yoonmi to go to a wedding. And warp speed, Mr. Zulu, that wedding was over seemingly faster than the opening procession lasts in the states. At the end of it, I recall looking at Yoonmi and saying, "Don't tell me it's already over." I had been in 2-3 hour church services here, and the wedding lasted 20 minutes. Guiness is currently reviewing it for the shortest wedding ever.
After that, we were at a loss for what to do. So, we opted to eat while we decide, and went for Pho (Vietnamese noodles). I had heard good things, and had never been anywhere that I had the luxury of trying it. Yoonmi had constantly proclaimed it as one of her favorite things to eat, and had heavy doses of the stuff when she lived in Hawaii. And after eating it, I understood why. It was quite delicious. I had chicken pho, while Yoonmi opted for seafood, and it was truly a solid decision. Would eat again.
After that, we were still figuring out where to go. A movie was out of the question, nothing good on. I suggested Dream Park, near her apartment, or Itaewon (like she had suggested earlier in the week). She objected, saying she wanted to go someplace quiet. Then I suggested a library, and she thought that was too quiet.
She did a quick search on her phone, and said "We're going to Anguk." I just went with it. Better not to ask questions and just roll with it. I'm glad I didn't.
What I found there was probably the most beautiful area I've ever seen anywhere in the world. I think going there will have left me underwhelmed at any point in my life now. Anguk's main streets have lots of shops, but most of them have a traditional Korean-style architecture instead of the standard buildings nowadays. Once you get off that main street however, that's when things get amazing. It becomes row after row of Korean traditional style houses (with modern conveniences like electricity and running water added). Even with power lines and the sound of construction, you can just walk through this area and feel like you've been transported 100-200 years back in time to the Korea of yesteryear. Then within a split second, you can turn around, and look down a street, and see a landscape of these beautiful traditional houses sprawling across this area, then watch them fade into the Korean cityscape of downtown Seoul, with Namsan peeking up in the background. Never have I seen such a beautiful view in my life.
I will post pictures, but they just don't do it justice. Just absolutely amazing. I could've stayed in Anguk all day.
We went to eat. We were going to eat bulgogi with squid, but couldn't find a place that sells it. Our search took us from Anguk to Insadong -- a familiar place to me from last time. However, even in the familiarity of Insadong, I got an eyefull. On a stage (Where last time I had my picture taken with Korean palace guards), we found traditional performers -- a comedy act and a singing troupe, with accompanyment by Korean traditional instruments. It was quite the sound. I could've honestly listened all day.
As we delved further into Insadong, we found a HUGE commotion in a side street, and went to see what it was. What I found was something just amazing -- Tae Kyun matches. At first glance, I thought it was Tae Kwon Do, but it wasn't. And it is quite different than Tae Kwon Do, sharing more of a resemblance to capoiera than Tae Kwon Do. And despite the focus on kicks and grabs, with no punches, this is one of the most exciting things I've witnessed. I have a video that I will later upload on Youtube to emphasize this, but it was a sight to behold.
Finally we found a place to eat - a bibimbap restaurant. This now holds a place as one of my favorites, so I was more than happy to partake in some bibimbap. Looked at the menu, and found SHRIMP bibimbap. I also found galbi bibimbap, and had to flip a coin between the two. Shrimp won, and shrimp was good. For the first time, I outate Yoonmi.
However, after dinner, Yoonmi and I parted ways. She was tired and still needed to study. We both went home. And this happy day came to an end. Once again I was alone.
Sunday, I felt yet another effect of jetlag, and struggled to stay awake in church. I found myself nodding off several times.
We had lunch at church. After eating, we're supposed to take our dishes back to the sink to be washed, and we scrape off our scraps into a scrap bucket. After I dropped off my dishes, I turned to walk out of the sink area. There was some water where I stepped, and wound up slipping and landing on my left shoulder. Seol (who was washing dishes) turned around to see if I was ok, and I thought I was, just embarrassed.
However, I started walking upstairs, and moving my shoulder around, and it was tight. Still kind of hurts, probably need to go to the pharmacy for some heat wraps soon.
Come closer to church, we practiced some more, and once again, I was screwing up ever so consistently. I was getting REALLY frustrated with myself. Hana (one of the singers) kept trying to help me find my place in the music, but it only served to embarrass me. I appreciated the effort, but the more I tried, the more frustrated I got.
It's been a long time since I've played in church. I usually only practice now when I feel like it. So part of the reason I struggled is my own fault. However, there is one thing I will remember from my bass lessons with Jimmy Tharp. Despite his shortcomings, what he said stuck with me: "When I play bass, this is my weapon against Satan. Every note is like a gunshot to his heart if we are using it to glorify God. So always pray before you play."
And suddenly, that came to me. And while we were praying for the service, I was saying my own prayers to God. I didn't want to embarrass myself, or let the church down. I was torn between sitting down or staying. But I asked God to bless my hands because my brain certainly wasn't processing what I needed to play. It had to be him playing right now, not me.
And that's what happened. I barely screwed up at all during worship service. I attributed it all to God. It's the only way that could happen.
Once again I struggled to stay awake during the sermon for afternoon service. It was good, and the speaker (not Pastor Chun) was anointed. But I was so jetlagged it wasn't even funny.
After church, I went upstairs and took an hour nap. I woke up, and walked around for a while, waiting for Yoonmi to tell me what time to go meet her at Coex. I continued to feel alone. I wanted to talk to people at Durihana, but was so scared to. If their English is limited, they couldn't understand me, and if I said something wrong in Korean, I could really ruin my witness on accident. It was just frustrating. I just sat in the park across the street from Durihana, watching people, and reading the Bible until it was time to leave for Samsung station.
Once I got there, I waited for about 5 minutes for Yoonmi, only to find she was waiting outside of my visibility behind a column. She had already eaten, but wanted me to eat, so we walked around the food court looking for something appetizing. I settled on sushi rolls with cheese in them, and soy sauce soup. Was pretty good. We talked about our church services. I mentioned briefly how I felt. She didn't say much about that.
Since we couldn't eat together, and she had to go home, I decided I would take the train to Miasamgeori to take her home. I walked her to her apartment, then left to catch the bus...the first time I had taken the bus in Korea alone.
The way they announce stops on the buses is different than the subway. When I was here last year, it sounded like pure, unadulterated gibberish to me. Even on the way to her apartment, it sounded the same. When I got on the bus by myself, I was worried I wouldn't hear my station name, that it would just sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. However, my ears just opened (out of necessity) to what was being said, and was able to get to the right station, pick up some manjoo to snack on while I was heading back to Durihana, and subsequently arrive home safely.
Monday was Memorial Day here. A national holiday. And Yoonmi had to work. I didn't. Joseph didn't, so he didn't get to Durihana until later in the day. So that leaves me as the veritable turd in the punch bowl. I couldn't even have my mom call the office, as it was locked up. If I felt alone the other days, I REALLY felt alone Monday. And of course, I had no phone to find out if anyone from Durihana was doing or wanted to do something. I had to fight to even leave my room. I wound up having a worship service in my bedroom floor, just me and God. I started to feel better after that, and went downstairs to practice bass. I also decided to buy a guitar strap, as they had no strap for the bass there. I asked Yoonmi where I could find a music store, and she guessed Insadong. She also told me to meet her at 2PM for lunch in Sinseoldong, where she works. Joseph arrived, and unlocked the office, so I had my mom call.
When she called, the brevity of the distance between us just became evident, and whatever high I experienced during worship plummeted. I vented to her, and she asked if I would talk to Yoonmi about this, and I told her it wouldn't do any good. I soon left to go meet Yoonmi.
I got to Sinseoldong 10 minutes early. Which is fine, I'm early getting anywhere. I bumped into some kids at the subway exit, and they were excited to meet a foreigner and speak English. They were somewhere between 7-9 years old, and really friendly, and spoke English well for little Korean kids. They soon parted, and the joy I experienced talking to them diminished back into the loneliness that I was experiencing.
I looked at my clock, and found an open wifi connection. Noon. I send a message to Yoonmi asking if we were going to meet inside or outside of the exit. No reply. Ask again, no reply. I sit down midway up the stairs, she comes up and nudges me. 15 minutes after we were supposed to meet. In my frustration and loneliness, I grew impatient. I was upset. She asked why I felt bad. I told her it was because I'm white.
We head to lunch, and where she wanted to eat, I couldn't find anything appetizing. She offered to go somewhere else, by then, we had already wasted so much time. This made me more frustrated. I wanted to eat with her and have a good time with her on her lunch break, and I made her not be able to eat, and I was miserable, and I was making her feel bad. She kept apologizing. All of this, unless I say otherwise, was in Korean:
Yoonmi: Sorry.
Me: ....
Yoonmi: Sorry.
Me: Stop.
Yoonmi: Sorry.
Me: Quit doing that!
Yoonmi: What?
Me: Saying you're sorry.
Yoonmi: Why?
Me: I don't want to hear it.
Yoonmi: Why?
Me: Because you're not sorry.
Yoonmi: Really, I'm sorry.
Me: (In English) For what?! Me being American?
Yoonmi: (English) That I had to work.
Me: (English) It's not your fault.
Yoonmi: Are you hungry?
Me: Yeah, but...
Yoonmi: But what?
Me: But you eat. Nothing looks good to me, you should eat.
Yoonmi: What about you?
Me: I'll eat later.
Yoonmi: Corey, please eat.
Me: No, you eat.
Yoonmi: ...
Me: I want to go home.
Yoonmi: To Harrisburg?
Me: Yeah.
Yoonmi: ...
We exit the restaurant, and are standing outside a subway station at this point. A
Yoonmi: What's wrong?
Me: I'm American. That's what's wrong. I'm standing here in Korea, surrounded by Koreans. I feel like a freak of nature. I can't speak Korean. No one speaks English to me. If you or Joseph aren't around me, I'm utterly and totally alone! (by this point I'm yelling, and people are staring, but I'm so frustrated, I don't care)
Yoonmi: I understand...
Me: No! Don't pretend that you understand! You don't know how this feels. Everywhere you've lived, Hawaii, Kyrgyzstan, you've been around Koreans all the time. Even when you went to the Philippines and Uganda, you were with Koreans! The only time you've been around no one who spoke your language was when you came to visit me in November. And I was with you at all times, so you could at least talk with me. So don't you act like you know how this feels, because you don't. I feel like I could scream here, and not a single person would understand me or try to help at all. You don't know how it feels to walk around talking to yourself in a foreign country because there's no one else to talk to you, and you feel like you need to talk to someone.
Yoonmi: But I do. When I was Japan, no one to talk to. No one taught me how to use the trains or buses. Same in Hawaii, at first everyone was busy. I didn't know anyone, so I spent a lot of time alone. I really understand.
And my foot was in my mouth. We headed back to where she had originally wanted to eat. By then, it was too late to eat, and I had turned my stomach into knots during my spiel. I just asked her to pray for me in the restaurant, and she did. And then we both grabbed some coffee, and that's it. That's all we had time for by then. I felt horrible that I made her miss her lunch. But she assured me she had bread to eat at work.
Feeling bad, I walked her back to work, and talked more on the way. On the way, we passed by a large flea market on the streets. I made a note of this mentally. I dropped her off, hugged her, and told her I loved her, and she told me to have a good day. I told her I would try.
I left and headed back towards the flea market. I decided to try to find a guitar strap here, as it would be cheaper than going to Insadong to buy one. And I failed miserably at this task. I crossed the street to go back toward the subway (and wound up on the wrong side, having to cross later). However, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
I walked by another booth at the flea market, of a guy selling nothing but cell phones and cell phone batteries. Sitting on top of this pile of cell phones was a like new touch screen phone, maybe a year or two old at most. I turned it on to find it not only worked perfectly, but had a full battery. I couldn't tell at that point if it was 3G. Only way was to ask.
The shop owner didn't speak English, but a customer beside me did, and translated. It was 3G, in good condition, for 30,000won, about $30. I thought about it strongly, prayed about it, and pulled out a 50,000 note, then just trusted God that he provided a cell phone. Then I headed toward Insadong.
As soon as I got into Insadong, at the first shop I found, it was a music store. I walked in, and as soon as I entered, found guitar straps. One for 15,000, job 2 completed. Walked around for a little bit before heading back, and someone wearing hanbok just randomly hands me a small Korean flag. For some reason, other than finding the strap and the phone, this cheered me up immensely. I then headed back toward Isu.
When I got to Isu, I found Joseph, and showed him the phone, which he confirmed was 3G, which meant I officially had a phone that could be activated! Hallelujah. We ate, then I went upstairs to practice for worship service. Seol was late, so Gwangjin, Hana, the rest of the singers, and myself practiced alongside a CD of the songs we were doing until she did arrive. Then we ran through other songs. Someone else (don't know his name) showed up to play acoustic guitar, and we prayed and were off.
And God just anointed the worship service. It was just powerful. And I no longer fumbled around. I think the combination of my frustration just being gone, and the fact that I prayed and practiced, and even the fact that I was standing up playing (which is how I play best), just allowed for me to play with the enthusiasm I needed to. And it radiated throughout the worship service. Everyone could tell that with me finally clicking with the worship team, that there was a drastic improvement in the dynamic. I would see Gwangjin in song breaks giving me thumbs up, Seol did the same after we finished.
One girl sang a special. Then they asked me to get up and speak with interpretation about how I came to be here. I was able to pour out my heart over this time. Then Joseph got up to lead prayer. This was done harp & bowl style, but I'm not totally sure whether that was planned or not. If it happens again, I'll tell you. All I know is Seol was already at the keyboard playing, then I see Gwangjin moving toward the drums, and I couldn't help but follow suit toward the bass. And Hana moved towards the microphone, and in breaks during prayer she would sing, but we were constantly playing throughout the service.
I could look out in the crowd and see everyone just so enthralled with the prayer and the worship. It was just so strong. Joseph's prayers were just so anointed. I couldn't tell you anything he said at that point, but when you feel it, it doesn't matter what the language was. We must have played for about an hour. It certainly felt like it. But it was amazing.
After service, we went downstairs to rejoice by having a "snack." Or that's what Seol said to me. To be brutally honest, for me, it could've been a meal, as it was a dozen sushi rolls per person. Absolutely perfect way to end the night, and we were all ready to go upstairs to sleep.
I'll tell you that today, I woke up carrying over the feeling from last night. It certainly is an improvement. And now I have a phone. I don't have to loiter around open wifi points just to communicate now.
I'll talk more about today later. But just wanted to give you a long overdue update.
Pictures and video will come soon too. Just praise God, everything went from bad to good.
Friday, June 03, 2011
One more thing...
Leaving in about 8 minutes to go to Kangnam to activate my Korean cell phone, but I wanted to add this. I'm still feeling jetlagged. I've been sleeping normal hours. Like, I fell asleep Wednesday night at 11:30pm, and woke up at 6:30. I was tired halfway through the day. Last night, I slept at 12:30am, woke up at 7:30. Starting to hit the wall again.
Just not fun. Last time, I didn't really feel it at all, so I guess this is the retribution for me not experiencing it in 2010 (until I got home). I don't know how many people have felt it, but it's quite irksome.
I'm asking for prayer in this matter, that I get over this jetlag very quick. And that I find a decent cup of coffee to pep me up today.
Although I'm questioning whether I should push it with the coffee, I had a Pepsi and a refill with breakfast today. But as worn out as I feel now, maybe I should grab a coffee after I get my phone set up.
Just not fun. Last time, I didn't really feel it at all, so I guess this is the retribution for me not experiencing it in 2010 (until I got home). I don't know how many people have felt it, but it's quite irksome.
I'm asking for prayer in this matter, that I get over this jetlag very quick. And that I find a decent cup of coffee to pep me up today.
Although I'm questioning whether I should push it with the coffee, I had a Pepsi and a refill with breakfast today. But as worn out as I feel now, maybe I should grab a coffee after I get my phone set up.
Thursday, June 02, 2011
Day 2: Not much, yet a lot to report.
Sorry for the contradictory title of this post, but this is the honest truth in this one.
The fact was, that I didn't have a class to teach yesterday. So I didn't do a lot but loiter around Durihana and walk around Isu. Lunch was really good. We had rice, squid, potatoes, and this strange spicy stew with hot dogs, spam, and some kind of beef in it. Or I think it was beef, and if it wasn't, it's probably for the best if I think it was. Regardless, it was really good.
Joseph had to go to the DMV (or whatever the equivalent of the DMV is in Korea) to take a written test for his driver's license. He was doing a cram session in studying for it, and came back to the office later, gloating that he passed.
I had massive problems getting a solid connection on my Droid via wifi. Of course, 3G isn't working, since I didn't sign up for roaming (Dear God, I would have to sell body parts to pay that bill), and had my service cut off for the month anyway, so it was a moot point. However, I had kept it in airplane mode. I turned that off, and got better connections. Still have a couple of drops, (and I can't find a good open network hardly anywhere, doubly so in the subway, where I would want to use it) but it's certainly an improvement.
Mostly I just loitered around Durihana and Isu yesterday. It wasn't that much of a bum deal. I got to interact a lot with people in the office. One girl is the same age as me, and is a teacher at the school. I was sitting at my desk, looking at Facebook, when all of a sudden, I thought I heard a bird chriping. Moreover, I thought I heard it IN the office. Where I come from this was cause for concern. However, it hadn't jumped on me, so I dismissed it as me just having no depth perception. (and the fact that the windows were open, it could've been outside) Then I heard it again, and saw something flying up and down behind my cubicle. This got my attention. It happened again. I look up to find said girl tossing a baby Korean magpie up in the air, letting it land on the ground, picking it up, lather, rinse, repeat. She saw my piqued curiosity and explained that she was doing "wing exercise" which to me says she's trying to help it learn to fly.
When Joseph left to take his written test, he left me with another member of the faculty. She was practicing for an English test at her university. She was very nervous about it, and wanted help. Joseph was helping, but had to leave, and he set me up with her to work. Which I REALLY appreciated, I am here to teach English. And I will help anyone who asks, faculty, students, anyone. She was studying present progressive and future tenses, and was needing to come up with questions and answers for a verbal test. I was able to help, and when she left, she was nervous. When she came back, she had passed!
Went downstairs. Durihana also runs a second-hand clothing store next door, which the refugees work at. They were sitting around playing an acoustic guitar. One of the women grabbed the guitar, and played an amazing rendition of Arirang. I was very impressed.
Later, I was able to play bass with the drummer I was talking about. They told me they have no bassist in their worship team, and would like me to play worship during church services while I'm here.
After that was dinner. We had Chinese food, which was explained to me, but I already knew because they were serving egg drop soup. Once again, really good. Then shortly after, Joseph invited me to go with him to Dongdaemun, the largest clothing marketplace in Korea.
It was at this time I vowed I would never shop at Myeongdong again. The prices were drastically lower in Dongdaemun. I felt fleeced. Let me just interject, that if you go shopping with a Korean, they will want you to update your wardrobe. I set out mainly to buy a good pair of jeans, which I did for only 25,000 won. Joseph approved, but then insisted I also purchase a new pair of shoes to compliment them. This wasn't what I was planning on, but we went shoe shopping anyway, where I found decent pair of shoes for 20,000 won. I was looking at other shoes, but Joseph picked out ones that he felt complimented my new pair of pants. I agreed they looked go, so how could I object. Plink down the money, and there we go. He wanted me to go with a new shirt as well, but he wanted to buy scarves for his friend in New Zealand. By the time we finished there, we were both tired, and headed back.
We got to talk a lot. About our lives, and our goals, and our desire for missions and our hearts for North Korea. We talked about my fiance, and everything under the sun and got to really get to know each other. I can say without question I'm blessed to be here, and to have good people surrounding me.
While we were talking on the subway, an older man came up to us, tapped on my shoulder and just said, "Christian?" We had been talking in English, so I don't know if he understood hardly anything we were saying. But apparently, our conduct and our lives were reflective enough of our faith that we caught someone's eye that we were, in fact Christians. It was quite amazing.
I'm about ready to go to class, so I will probably write more, or at least try to post up some pictures soonafter.
The fact was, that I didn't have a class to teach yesterday. So I didn't do a lot but loiter around Durihana and walk around Isu. Lunch was really good. We had rice, squid, potatoes, and this strange spicy stew with hot dogs, spam, and some kind of beef in it. Or I think it was beef, and if it wasn't, it's probably for the best if I think it was. Regardless, it was really good.
Joseph had to go to the DMV (or whatever the equivalent of the DMV is in Korea) to take a written test for his driver's license. He was doing a cram session in studying for it, and came back to the office later, gloating that he passed.
I had massive problems getting a solid connection on my Droid via wifi. Of course, 3G isn't working, since I didn't sign up for roaming (Dear God, I would have to sell body parts to pay that bill), and had my service cut off for the month anyway, so it was a moot point. However, I had kept it in airplane mode. I turned that off, and got better connections. Still have a couple of drops, (and I can't find a good open network hardly anywhere, doubly so in the subway, where I would want to use it) but it's certainly an improvement.
Mostly I just loitered around Durihana and Isu yesterday. It wasn't that much of a bum deal. I got to interact a lot with people in the office. One girl is the same age as me, and is a teacher at the school. I was sitting at my desk, looking at Facebook, when all of a sudden, I thought I heard a bird chriping. Moreover, I thought I heard it IN the office. Where I come from this was cause for concern. However, it hadn't jumped on me, so I dismissed it as me just having no depth perception. (and the fact that the windows were open, it could've been outside) Then I heard it again, and saw something flying up and down behind my cubicle. This got my attention. It happened again. I look up to find said girl tossing a baby Korean magpie up in the air, letting it land on the ground, picking it up, lather, rinse, repeat. She saw my piqued curiosity and explained that she was doing "wing exercise" which to me says she's trying to help it learn to fly.
When Joseph left to take his written test, he left me with another member of the faculty. She was practicing for an English test at her university. She was very nervous about it, and wanted help. Joseph was helping, but had to leave, and he set me up with her to work. Which I REALLY appreciated, I am here to teach English. And I will help anyone who asks, faculty, students, anyone. She was studying present progressive and future tenses, and was needing to come up with questions and answers for a verbal test. I was able to help, and when she left, she was nervous. When she came back, she had passed!
Went downstairs. Durihana also runs a second-hand clothing store next door, which the refugees work at. They were sitting around playing an acoustic guitar. One of the women grabbed the guitar, and played an amazing rendition of Arirang. I was very impressed.
Later, I was able to play bass with the drummer I was talking about. They told me they have no bassist in their worship team, and would like me to play worship during church services while I'm here.
After that was dinner. We had Chinese food, which was explained to me, but I already knew because they were serving egg drop soup. Once again, really good. Then shortly after, Joseph invited me to go with him to Dongdaemun, the largest clothing marketplace in Korea.
It was at this time I vowed I would never shop at Myeongdong again. The prices were drastically lower in Dongdaemun. I felt fleeced. Let me just interject, that if you go shopping with a Korean, they will want you to update your wardrobe. I set out mainly to buy a good pair of jeans, which I did for only 25,000 won. Joseph approved, but then insisted I also purchase a new pair of shoes to compliment them. This wasn't what I was planning on, but we went shoe shopping anyway, where I found decent pair of shoes for 20,000 won. I was looking at other shoes, but Joseph picked out ones that he felt complimented my new pair of pants. I agreed they looked go, so how could I object. Plink down the money, and there we go. He wanted me to go with a new shirt as well, but he wanted to buy scarves for his friend in New Zealand. By the time we finished there, we were both tired, and headed back.
We got to talk a lot. About our lives, and our goals, and our desire for missions and our hearts for North Korea. We talked about my fiance, and everything under the sun and got to really get to know each other. I can say without question I'm blessed to be here, and to have good people surrounding me.
While we were talking on the subway, an older man came up to us, tapped on my shoulder and just said, "Christian?" We had been talking in English, so I don't know if he understood hardly anything we were saying. But apparently, our conduct and our lives were reflective enough of our faith that we caught someone's eye that we were, in fact Christians. It was quite amazing.
I'm about ready to go to class, so I will probably write more, or at least try to post up some pictures soonafter.
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
The rest of yesterday.
So shortly after I posted my previous entry, lunch time came. Which was good, I was quite hungry.
I came down to eat, to find this:
This literally says, "Welcome, brother Corey." I was taken aback. I feel so at home here, and they have strived to make every effort to make me feel welcome.
And here is lunch:
We had rice, seaweed, potatoes, chicken, and some kind of soup. All of it spicy, all of it delicious. Anyone worried about me eating here should just stop. I'll probably leave here 20 pounds heavier.
After lunch, I had about 50 minutes to prepare for class. I wasn't sure about what would happen that day, whether they would expect me to jump in that day or not. Turns out they did, and I came to work. I was exhausted, but it was almost expected I figure out what to do with my class period. And in a matter of 40 minutes.
Of course, I had no clue where to start. I had no clue of the proficiency level of any of my students, and hadn't even really met them yet. So I figured, what better way to start than to gauge their levels of language proficiency?
And that's exactly what I did. It's a very small class, only 5 students, myself, and Joseph to help me explain more complex sentences.
When I started with figuring out where they were in English studies, I wasn't sure what to expect. Would they know nothing or have a strong foundation to build off of? I asked what they knew and what they wanted to learn. They (especially the girls, of which are the majority) were very timid at first. However, that quickly changed.
They all mirrored the same sentiments when I asked those questions: They have been learning basic grammar and vocabulary, but want to learn how to speak and listen well. That's when I decided to really dig in and see where we stood in terms of English skills, and precisely what nuances I needed to hit on. And at this point, I really thanked God that I had been studying Korean, because I felt like, more than even conversations and getting by over here, my Korean came into play perfectly for this scenario.
I began writing Korean phrases (nothing complex) on the chalkboard, and asked them to translate it into English for me. Nothing too complex. Things that you would pretty much teach in any ESL class within probably week one or two. I started with "My name is..." and they quickly got it. I began really challenging them, with past tense words, future tense words. This was where they started to struggle. However, they were getting the basic understanding of the sentence. Joseph asked me to quote a verse from the Bible in Korean, and see if they could translate it. I started with the literal beginning, and put up Genesis 1:1. This was really when they stepped it up, and the one guy in the class, who gave me his English name, David, translated it nearly perfectly, only saying "the world" instead of "the heavens and the earth," at the end. To his defense though, that is pretty much how it translates into Korean to begin with, so I had to take that answer.
What started out as a really timid group of students turned excited in no time flat during this exercise. The girls were really excited, as was David, and I was just as excited. They struggle with sentence structure, tenses, and spelling. Plus, as I do with Korean, their vocabulary range is limited. But, what I saw wasn't just what they didn't know, but I saw what they did know, and their desire to learn more, and their excitement to learn. You just don't see that often. Not a single one of them seemed bored. On top of that, as I spoke, the girls frequently tried to mimic what I said. That's when I realized how quickly they're absorbing English, and trying to apply it and learn proper pronunciation. Absolutely amazing.
Today, my intentions are to go through a listening exercise. I remember when I took Spanish in High School, my first class period in that class consisted of a listening exercise, and that laid the groundwork for the entire class. Proper listening comprehension, in my opinion, is crucial. If you can get them to start hearing the individual words and not just "blah blah blah," then their confidence takes a huge leap in the right direction.
What I intend on doing is giving out a list of basic commands. This was how it was done in my class so many years ago. I remember at first, being completely flabbergasted and overwhelmed by hearing these commands. Once we started to understand them, then yes, it does provide confidence. These commands won't be difficult. Things like, "Open the door/Turn off the lights/Stand up/Pick up a pen/Touch your nose/Look at the window" will be used. Of course, we can't really help them in this. They can get help amongst themselves, but myself and Joseph need to be conscientious observers in this matter, while I continue to make the commands. I'm expecting some initial bewilderment, but that they will catch on.
So, last night, I went to Myeongdong to meet Yoonmi. We decided to eat Indian curry last night. It was my first time with the cuisine, and after doing so, I knew it wouldn't be the last. Just amazing food, I've missed out.
I also gave her some gifts. I of course, wanted to bless her. My mom also sent her a gift. She was pleased with all of it!
We had to call it an early night, and parted ways around 10-10:30. I was so jetlagged still. By around 3PM, I hit a wall where I felt like a zombie. I took a 45 minute nap, and felt a little recharged. However, by the time Yoonmi and I were about to split up to head home, I was completely drained again, to the point where I almost fell asleep on the train STANDING UP. Yeah, that's when you know you're zonked. Fell asleep about 11:30, and woke up at 6:30. Not bad. I'm feeling quite well today. Went out to buy some new ink pens (lost mine), and got a nice walk out of it. Sushi rolls and rice dumplings for breakfast this morning. Not a bad way to start off the day. Then to top it off, the faculty at Durihana has a daily prayer meeting and Bible study. They want me to jump in with them. Today we read 1 John 4 (That's bringing back some memories, Mike). I also learned that they have a memory verse every week. On Friday, they check it, and if you haven't memorized it, you pay 1000won for missing it. I'm exempt this week, but I have to be on my heels next week. I don't want to lose my moneys!
This is going to be a great month. More to come.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Day 1 in Korea
Well, I'm finally here.
First of all, I want to thank everyone who donated to help me reach Korea. You guys are just as instrumental in what's about to happen as I am for actually going. Without you, there's no way I could've even made it here. So thank you, and God's going to bless you for helping make this a reality.
So, let's start off with discussing my trip over here. Honestly, it was pretty good, with only a couple of snags. First of all, I can't go anywhere without forgetting somewhere, that's becoming ever so clear. I left a bottle of shampoo and a bottle of body wash sitting at my mom's house. These were my big bottles, so all I have is enough of each to last me a week now. So, I have to go buy some later, and if I can't find any that are comparable to mine (and I need something antibacterial in the body wash department), I'll have to ask mom to mail it to me. I don't think that will be a problem.
The flights went well though. My flight to Detroit was smooth sailing. I always flip out about those puddle jumpers, but this was a non-issue. Honestly, I was almost asleep on that flight before we even took off. I actually had to fight to stay awake.
They overbooked my flight to Tokyo, which still wasn't a concern for me, since I already checked in. However, we were 40 minutes late in pulling away from the gate, because they were still loading cargo to the plane. We were consequently an hour late taking off. I had a fit of impatience sitting in my seat, especially when they told us to turn off our electronic devices well before the flight took off. So all I could do was sit there in silence, which was frustrating.
On top of that, I started to worry. My connection was rather tight in Tokyo last time, and this was the exact same itinerary. Was I going to make it in time if we were an hour late getting to Tokyo? Especially when it took around 20-30 minutes to taxi to our arrival gate last year. So yeah, I was concerned.
Shortly after takeoff, however, the captain informed us we were still due to arrive on time to Tokyo. I breathed a little easier, but still in the back of my mind, I had that worry. I ate well, there was shrimp with pretty much every meal I ate on that flight. Not that I'm complaining about that (anyone who knows me would know that's the exact opposite of what I'm doing).
I was also able to sleep for four hours on this flight. This is a big step. I was quite relaxed. Last year, I was scared to death to fly period, let alone overseas. This time, it was just a matter of, "Meh...this is all routine." Not even turbulence got me perturbed.
True to his word, we arrived in Tokyo right on time. On top of that, our arrival gate was very close to the runway, so it was a very short taxi this time. Regardless, I took off in a semi-Home Alone-esque sprint to the security gate, not wanting to take any chances. I got through really quickly, and found my gate really fast. I mean, to leave an hour late, and still get there on time? And to find my gate with an hour to spare? That's a God thing, clearly.
The only problem with the flight was the landing. It was one of the roughest landings I've experienced. And when I say that, I mean, the plane bowed pretty heavily, to the point where I was slightly concerned that it might hit a wing on the ground, and send us flipping over. However, that didn't happen, obviously, or you would've heard about it on CNN by now.
I had a snack on my flight to Seoul (Egg Salad and Tuna Salad sandwiches), and we arrived early to Korea. And then I was pretty much instantly comfortable and excited. Got through immigration and customs really quick. Found Yoonmi. She didn't stay long, but brought my new camera, and said how happy she was to see me, and then found my contacts at Durihana.
One of which was a North Korean. He was our driver. I also met Joseph, who was the person I had been e-mailing recently. It was quite awesome to meet these people. I was so excited.
When I got there, they wanted to bless me with food. I honestly wasn't hungry, and was ok, but they insisted...and took me to McDonald's. Considering how excited I was the last day at McDonald's (where I work), and almost kissed the ground when I walked out on Friday, I found this quite ironic. But it was such an awesome time. We talked on the way to Durihana.
Gwangjin (the North Korean), come to find out, is a drummer. He found out I play bass, and already wants to jam. This is quite an appealing offer for me. Been a while since I jammed with anyone.
They set me up in my dorm room (which is a single bed room), and let me get situated and sleep.
This morning I woke up, and took care of everything regarding my SD Card (reformatting it for my new camera), and checked Facebook. I then went downstairs to find Joseph, and to find a towel to take a shower. I was still in my pajamas. The instant he saw me, Gwangjin immediately motioned for me to come into the office area, and immediately introduced me to Chun Ki-won, the pastor of Durihana.
If you don't know much about the North Korean refugee crisis, Pastor Chun is super important. As in, he is one of the heads of the underground railroad responsible for getting the refugees out of China. He travels the world over talking about this crisis and getting aid from people to make this possible. So to say he is important is an understatement. Without him, this system would probably crumble.
And here I am in my pajamas, meeting with him. He's wearing all but the suit coat of his three piece suit. And I'm in my pajamas. I think he was underdressed. *sarcasm*
He was incredibly kind. He already had a breakfast of pastries and breads laid out for me, and also supplied me with milk and coffee to compliment it. It was wonderful. We talked some, and I think this will be a wonderful month.
He introduced me to some of the staff, whom are very kind. Right now, they gave me a desk (letting me borrow Gwangjin's while he's away), and I'm just waiting to see what's up. I'm thinking they might let me hold off on starting until tomorrow until I'm fully situated and overcome my jet lag. I may head out to E-Mart soon to get what I forgot at home. I also need to head to Yongsan later. Tonight, I'll be eating Indian food with Yoonmi, and grabbing some dress shoes for this weekend.
All is well in the Eastern front though, guys. Praise God. I haven't had many opportunities to snap pictures. I snapped one at the airport, which I'll put up here. I have snapped some of the Durihana complex right now, but my camera is upstairs. I'll post them later.
http://min.us/m4Z6ZuvfeiW31
This was from my church bulletin Sunday. Not that I like boasting about it, just that it is a nice reminder that my church is praying for me, and the rest of the people in the mission field this summer.
http://min.us/mVumKrcY2oECl
And here's a sign on the way to border control. I was so excited.
Some messages to specific people:
Carmen: Yes my shoes were tied! In fact, I reached an escalator in Incheon airport, and saw my shoes came untied, and STOPPED TO TIE THEM! You should be insatiably pleased with that.
Tina: No kimchi yet, but trust me, I'll try to eat some this time around. I did have a bulgogi burger at McDonald's last night though.
And to everyone else: Thank you! 감사합니다!
Keep an eye on here and my Facebook for more!
First of all, I want to thank everyone who donated to help me reach Korea. You guys are just as instrumental in what's about to happen as I am for actually going. Without you, there's no way I could've even made it here. So thank you, and God's going to bless you for helping make this a reality.
So, let's start off with discussing my trip over here. Honestly, it was pretty good, with only a couple of snags. First of all, I can't go anywhere without forgetting somewhere, that's becoming ever so clear. I left a bottle of shampoo and a bottle of body wash sitting at my mom's house. These were my big bottles, so all I have is enough of each to last me a week now. So, I have to go buy some later, and if I can't find any that are comparable to mine (and I need something antibacterial in the body wash department), I'll have to ask mom to mail it to me. I don't think that will be a problem.
The flights went well though. My flight to Detroit was smooth sailing. I always flip out about those puddle jumpers, but this was a non-issue. Honestly, I was almost asleep on that flight before we even took off. I actually had to fight to stay awake.
They overbooked my flight to Tokyo, which still wasn't a concern for me, since I already checked in. However, we were 40 minutes late in pulling away from the gate, because they were still loading cargo to the plane. We were consequently an hour late taking off. I had a fit of impatience sitting in my seat, especially when they told us to turn off our electronic devices well before the flight took off. So all I could do was sit there in silence, which was frustrating.
On top of that, I started to worry. My connection was rather tight in Tokyo last time, and this was the exact same itinerary. Was I going to make it in time if we were an hour late getting to Tokyo? Especially when it took around 20-30 minutes to taxi to our arrival gate last year. So yeah, I was concerned.
Shortly after takeoff, however, the captain informed us we were still due to arrive on time to Tokyo. I breathed a little easier, but still in the back of my mind, I had that worry. I ate well, there was shrimp with pretty much every meal I ate on that flight. Not that I'm complaining about that (anyone who knows me would know that's the exact opposite of what I'm doing).
I was also able to sleep for four hours on this flight. This is a big step. I was quite relaxed. Last year, I was scared to death to fly period, let alone overseas. This time, it was just a matter of, "Meh...this is all routine." Not even turbulence got me perturbed.
True to his word, we arrived in Tokyo right on time. On top of that, our arrival gate was very close to the runway, so it was a very short taxi this time. Regardless, I took off in a semi-Home Alone-esque sprint to the security gate, not wanting to take any chances. I got through really quickly, and found my gate really fast. I mean, to leave an hour late, and still get there on time? And to find my gate with an hour to spare? That's a God thing, clearly.
The only problem with the flight was the landing. It was one of the roughest landings I've experienced. And when I say that, I mean, the plane bowed pretty heavily, to the point where I was slightly concerned that it might hit a wing on the ground, and send us flipping over. However, that didn't happen, obviously, or you would've heard about it on CNN by now.
I had a snack on my flight to Seoul (Egg Salad and Tuna Salad sandwiches), and we arrived early to Korea. And then I was pretty much instantly comfortable and excited. Got through immigration and customs really quick. Found Yoonmi. She didn't stay long, but brought my new camera, and said how happy she was to see me, and then found my contacts at Durihana.
One of which was a North Korean. He was our driver. I also met Joseph, who was the person I had been e-mailing recently. It was quite awesome to meet these people. I was so excited.
When I got there, they wanted to bless me with food. I honestly wasn't hungry, and was ok, but they insisted...and took me to McDonald's. Considering how excited I was the last day at McDonald's (where I work), and almost kissed the ground when I walked out on Friday, I found this quite ironic. But it was such an awesome time. We talked on the way to Durihana.
Gwangjin (the North Korean), come to find out, is a drummer. He found out I play bass, and already wants to jam. This is quite an appealing offer for me. Been a while since I jammed with anyone.
They set me up in my dorm room (which is a single bed room), and let me get situated and sleep.
This morning I woke up, and took care of everything regarding my SD Card (reformatting it for my new camera), and checked Facebook. I then went downstairs to find Joseph, and to find a towel to take a shower. I was still in my pajamas. The instant he saw me, Gwangjin immediately motioned for me to come into the office area, and immediately introduced me to Chun Ki-won, the pastor of Durihana.
If you don't know much about the North Korean refugee crisis, Pastor Chun is super important. As in, he is one of the heads of the underground railroad responsible for getting the refugees out of China. He travels the world over talking about this crisis and getting aid from people to make this possible. So to say he is important is an understatement. Without him, this system would probably crumble.
And here I am in my pajamas, meeting with him. He's wearing all but the suit coat of his three piece suit. And I'm in my pajamas. I think he was underdressed. *sarcasm*
He was incredibly kind. He already had a breakfast of pastries and breads laid out for me, and also supplied me with milk and coffee to compliment it. It was wonderful. We talked some, and I think this will be a wonderful month.
He introduced me to some of the staff, whom are very kind. Right now, they gave me a desk (letting me borrow Gwangjin's while he's away), and I'm just waiting to see what's up. I'm thinking they might let me hold off on starting until tomorrow until I'm fully situated and overcome my jet lag. I may head out to E-Mart soon to get what I forgot at home. I also need to head to Yongsan later. Tonight, I'll be eating Indian food with Yoonmi, and grabbing some dress shoes for this weekend.
All is well in the Eastern front though, guys. Praise God. I haven't had many opportunities to snap pictures. I snapped one at the airport, which I'll put up here. I have snapped some of the Durihana complex right now, but my camera is upstairs. I'll post them later.
http://min.us/m4Z6ZuvfeiW31
This was from my church bulletin Sunday. Not that I like boasting about it, just that it is a nice reminder that my church is praying for me, and the rest of the people in the mission field this summer.
http://min.us/mVumKrcY2oECl
And here's a sign on the way to border control. I was so excited.
Some messages to specific people:
Carmen: Yes my shoes were tied! In fact, I reached an escalator in Incheon airport, and saw my shoes came untied, and STOPPED TO TIE THEM! You should be insatiably pleased with that.
Tina: No kimchi yet, but trust me, I'll try to eat some this time around. I did have a bulgogi burger at McDonald's last night though.
And to everyone else: Thank you! 감사합니다!
Keep an eye on here and my Facebook for more!
Friday, April 08, 2011
Are We Truly Free?
I ask the preceeding knowing full well that I am about to state an unpopular opinion. I also state this hoping that you will pray that I will not end up on Homeland Security's terror watch list as I post this. I don't want to have to deal with that kind of screening at the airports on my mission trip, and any other subsequent flights I need to take.
NOTE: If you were at class on Tuesday, this was the chapel that I was going to present before the Spirit changed direction. I was already preparing to post this sermon to elaborate further, as I was unsure of whether I could fully articulate what I was going to speak on in the time allotted.
We, as Americans take great pride in our Constitutional freedoms. But does this truly grant us freedom?
“It’s a free country.” This is often spoken. Usually, this is in defense of whatever vice someone has. This has also been, ironically, referenced by certain atheists in this nation to try to silence public professions of faith, feeling that it violates their rights to not believe.
Our own personal constitutional freedom conflicts with our spiritual, God-given freedoms. While I do not oppose our constitutional freedom, because it has afforded us the right to choose what we believe for ourselves, and to speak for ourselves, it is a double-edged sword. While it can bring us closer to God because of the fact that we choose to believe in him for ourselves, it can also cause us to drift further away from God on the basis of absolute freedom. That is, we often turn to other things before we turn to God.
Even when we come to Christ, so often these things continue to pull us away from God. Sure, we still believe. Sure, we know our sins our forgiven. But we just simply do not walk in the power and authority that Christ has called us to, because we have not fully relinquished control of our own lives fully. Because we are free to do what we please, according to our "certain inalienable rights" granted to us by our Constitution, we often overwork ourselves, become addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, hobbies, collections, and other things that pull our attention away from God, because we have that choice available to us. But why?
In a survey, it was found that only 37% of Americans read the Bible at least once a week, despite 92% of all Americans owning on average three copies of the Bible. On average, Americans read that read their Bibles read them for 52 minutes per week. That averages out to less than 8 minutes daily! And the vast majority of those minutes are spent in perfunctory readings at church.
Let's compare this to China, a nation in which religion is restricted under communist rule. While there are state-controlled Christian bodies within China, they are tightly-controlled and restricted by the Chinese government. Yet the house churches in China spend arguably in prayer and worship than anywhere else.
In other restricted countries, where owning even a Bible is illegal, you will often hear stories of single PAGES from Bibles being distributed among the people. These people will pore over these pages, and memorize the scripture on the page. They know the next page they see may not be there for a while. These places may have the same vices, and more, than we have here. Yet they choose to devote themselves to prayer and reading the Bible.
Let's not forget the Church reformation, where the Catholic church controlled religion. People died to bring freedom of worship and the ability to choose to believe in God and to read His word for ourselves to the masses. And now that we have these freedoms, we take them for granted.
Am I advocating state-run churchs dictatorships? No. Church-run states tend to stagnate churches as well. The Roman Catholic church ran pretty-much all forms of government for centuries. These centuries have been referred to as the dark ages, as this was where the church stagnated. Let’s also not forget that the British control of church is why America was established in the first place.
And while I also don't advocate dictatorships, sometimes I wonder if that is what it will take to send a wake-up call to the American church. In fact, there are times when I straddle the fence between praying for oppression in America, knowing from the models of North Korea, China, and Africa, that this can bring true spiritual revival to the USA, and praying for God to open the eyes of the church peacefully.
Our founding fathers understood this. They not only understood our constitutional rights, but our God-given rights, and our role in using our Constitutional rights to mirror our God-given rights. Over time, the government lost sight of this, and now we, as people, often use our God-given rights to mirror our Constitutional rights.
I am of the belief that our constitutional freedom could be our own worst spiritual enemy. When we exercise these freedoms, we often take it for granted, and use it not to our benefit, but downfall.
Moreover, this type of constitutional freedom and acceptance of Christianity robs us of blessings.
Mark 13:8 “And you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.”
In America, this doesn’t happen. There may be exceptions, but overall, this isn’t the case. This would explain why churches in persecuted countries are more blessed and anointed than churches here, and why they see more signs and wonders than we do.
The New Testament church saw this persecution daily. They were arrested, beaten, killed, forced to flee Jerusalem. And as a result, the church flourished and multiplied exponentially. Our churches have stagnated under no persecution.
Even the South Korean church is generally more blessed than America, with the threat of communism and war sitting just an hour’s drive north of their capital. Even still, their own freedom allows for the same stagnation as the American church. Dare I not mention the thriving North Korean underground church. I had no clue that it even existed, until I was in Seoul last year. This was discussed in great detail on my way back to Church from lunch for the 3rd (Yes, you read correctly, 3rd) service of the day.
9/11 caused a glimpse of what a persecuted American church would look like. But after the immediate threat ceased, people went back to business as usual.
We acknowledge our freedom, but neglect our spiritual freedom. We act on what we can do under the Constitution, federal, and state laws, but don’t act on what God’s freedom implies.
Freedom from God implies:
--Freedom from the penalty of our sin
--Freedom to worship in Spirit & Truth
--Freedom of access to God
--Freedom to live in the likeness of God
--Freedom to speak the Word of God, so that others may believe
We often neglect these Freedoms to fight for “righteous causes.” We are often so blindsided fighting for these causes, that our own spiritual lives falter. Meanwhile, we are still losing these battles. The fact is that a secular government (which is what our government is now) will only stand in the way of abortion rights and homosexual rights for so long, until the moral bankruptcy of the government peaks to the point that these rights will be passed.
Note that I am not advocating a que sera sera stance, nor am I pro-choice, or pro-gay marriage. We should stand up for what is ethically and Biblically right. We should be the voice amidst the morally bankrupt calling for a just nation. America is a strong nation, one that the rest of the world looks up to. And we, as a nation, could be a light to the rest of the world. However, having going so far astray from Biblical principles, can we right the ship now?
We should look at ancient Israel as an example. After Solomon, there was corruption in the nation, causing the rift between Israel and Judah. They continued in corruption, but would eventually see good kings who would transform their respective kingdoms into ones who feared God. However, these would only last for so long before corruption prevailed again, and eventually both kingdoms were overthrown by their adversaries.
So we can right this ship. That is a possibility. We need to pray for it continually as Christians. However, we need to understand the inevitability of these rights passing at the end of the age. We have been told that the world will be at its most corrupt point when the end times begin, as foretold by John, Daniel, and several others. Considering we are only seeing the birthpains as told by Jesus in Matthew, we aren't there yet. And I cannot fathom the moral bankruptcy that will occur at the end of the age if this isn't it.
Instead of focusing on our constitutional rights, we need to be focusing on our God given rights, different from anything a human-instituted government can provide. If we are able to do this, then whether we face immediate persecution or not, we will be prepared for persecution. If we are able to exercise this daily, then we will see the church grow.
=============================================
Like what you read? Please, if you can, and God lays it on your heart, donate. As I have mentioned before, I am raising funds for a mission trip to South Korea to work with North Korean refugees, and could certainly use any help I can get financially. As an update (Please note that my Chipin widget does not reflect the full $2500 at this point, or the amount given. It only covers contributors that have donated online, so the rest of my donations have been received offline), I am currently sitting at $1485 donated (including what I am saving for this trip myself, minus, of course, what I'm saving for paying my living expenses Stateside while I'm off work for the month--that I have not included in the amount needed)! This up over $1000 from the $410 that I started Sunday afternoon at. God is faithful, my provider, and works mightily. As such, I will be faithful with what is given to me for this trip, and God will work mightily through me in Korea this summer.
NOTE: If you were at class on Tuesday, this was the chapel that I was going to present before the Spirit changed direction. I was already preparing to post this sermon to elaborate further, as I was unsure of whether I could fully articulate what I was going to speak on in the time allotted.
We, as Americans take great pride in our Constitutional freedoms. But does this truly grant us freedom?
“It’s a free country.” This is often spoken. Usually, this is in defense of whatever vice someone has. This has also been, ironically, referenced by certain atheists in this nation to try to silence public professions of faith, feeling that it violates their rights to not believe.
Our own personal constitutional freedom conflicts with our spiritual, God-given freedoms. While I do not oppose our constitutional freedom, because it has afforded us the right to choose what we believe for ourselves, and to speak for ourselves, it is a double-edged sword. While it can bring us closer to God because of the fact that we choose to believe in him for ourselves, it can also cause us to drift further away from God on the basis of absolute freedom. That is, we often turn to other things before we turn to God.
Even when we come to Christ, so often these things continue to pull us away from God. Sure, we still believe. Sure, we know our sins our forgiven. But we just simply do not walk in the power and authority that Christ has called us to, because we have not fully relinquished control of our own lives fully. Because we are free to do what we please, according to our "certain inalienable rights" granted to us by our Constitution, we often overwork ourselves, become addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, hobbies, collections, and other things that pull our attention away from God, because we have that choice available to us. But why?
In a survey, it was found that only 37% of Americans read the Bible at least once a week, despite 92% of all Americans owning on average three copies of the Bible. On average, Americans read that read their Bibles read them for 52 minutes per week. That averages out to less than 8 minutes daily! And the vast majority of those minutes are spent in perfunctory readings at church.
Let's compare this to China, a nation in which religion is restricted under communist rule. While there are state-controlled Christian bodies within China, they are tightly-controlled and restricted by the Chinese government. Yet the house churches in China spend arguably in prayer and worship than anywhere else.
In other restricted countries, where owning even a Bible is illegal, you will often hear stories of single PAGES from Bibles being distributed among the people. These people will pore over these pages, and memorize the scripture on the page. They know the next page they see may not be there for a while. These places may have the same vices, and more, than we have here. Yet they choose to devote themselves to prayer and reading the Bible.
Let's not forget the Church reformation, where the Catholic church controlled religion. People died to bring freedom of worship and the ability to choose to believe in God and to read His word for ourselves to the masses. And now that we have these freedoms, we take them for granted.
Am I advocating state-run churchs dictatorships? No. Church-run states tend to stagnate churches as well. The Roman Catholic church ran pretty-much all forms of government for centuries. These centuries have been referred to as the dark ages, as this was where the church stagnated. Let’s also not forget that the British control of church is why America was established in the first place.
And while I also don't advocate dictatorships, sometimes I wonder if that is what it will take to send a wake-up call to the American church. In fact, there are times when I straddle the fence between praying for oppression in America, knowing from the models of North Korea, China, and Africa, that this can bring true spiritual revival to the USA, and praying for God to open the eyes of the church peacefully.
Our founding fathers understood this. They not only understood our constitutional rights, but our God-given rights, and our role in using our Constitutional rights to mirror our God-given rights. Over time, the government lost sight of this, and now we, as people, often use our God-given rights to mirror our Constitutional rights.
I am of the belief that our constitutional freedom could be our own worst spiritual enemy. When we exercise these freedoms, we often take it for granted, and use it not to our benefit, but downfall.
Moreover, this type of constitutional freedom and acceptance of Christianity robs us of blessings.
Mark 13:8 “And you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.”
In America, this doesn’t happen. There may be exceptions, but overall, this isn’t the case. This would explain why churches in persecuted countries are more blessed and anointed than churches here, and why they see more signs and wonders than we do.
The New Testament church saw this persecution daily. They were arrested, beaten, killed, forced to flee Jerusalem. And as a result, the church flourished and multiplied exponentially. Our churches have stagnated under no persecution.
Even the South Korean church is generally more blessed than America, with the threat of communism and war sitting just an hour’s drive north of their capital. Even still, their own freedom allows for the same stagnation as the American church. Dare I not mention the thriving North Korean underground church. I had no clue that it even existed, until I was in Seoul last year. This was discussed in great detail on my way back to Church from lunch for the 3rd (Yes, you read correctly, 3rd) service of the day.
9/11 caused a glimpse of what a persecuted American church would look like. But after the immediate threat ceased, people went back to business as usual.
We acknowledge our freedom, but neglect our spiritual freedom. We act on what we can do under the Constitution, federal, and state laws, but don’t act on what God’s freedom implies.
Freedom from God implies:
--Freedom from the penalty of our sin
--Freedom to worship in Spirit & Truth
--Freedom of access to God
--Freedom to live in the likeness of God
--Freedom to speak the Word of God, so that others may believe
We often neglect these Freedoms to fight for “righteous causes.” We are often so blindsided fighting for these causes, that our own spiritual lives falter. Meanwhile, we are still losing these battles. The fact is that a secular government (which is what our government is now) will only stand in the way of abortion rights and homosexual rights for so long, until the moral bankruptcy of the government peaks to the point that these rights will be passed.
Note that I am not advocating a que sera sera stance, nor am I pro-choice, or pro-gay marriage. We should stand up for what is ethically and Biblically right. We should be the voice amidst the morally bankrupt calling for a just nation. America is a strong nation, one that the rest of the world looks up to. And we, as a nation, could be a light to the rest of the world. However, having going so far astray from Biblical principles, can we right the ship now?
We should look at ancient Israel as an example. After Solomon, there was corruption in the nation, causing the rift between Israel and Judah. They continued in corruption, but would eventually see good kings who would transform their respective kingdoms into ones who feared God. However, these would only last for so long before corruption prevailed again, and eventually both kingdoms were overthrown by their adversaries.
So we can right this ship. That is a possibility. We need to pray for it continually as Christians. However, we need to understand the inevitability of these rights passing at the end of the age. We have been told that the world will be at its most corrupt point when the end times begin, as foretold by John, Daniel, and several others. Considering we are only seeing the birthpains as told by Jesus in Matthew, we aren't there yet. And I cannot fathom the moral bankruptcy that will occur at the end of the age if this isn't it.
Instead of focusing on our constitutional rights, we need to be focusing on our God given rights, different from anything a human-instituted government can provide. If we are able to do this, then whether we face immediate persecution or not, we will be prepared for persecution. If we are able to exercise this daily, then we will see the church grow.
=============================================
Like what you read? Please, if you can, and God lays it on your heart, donate. As I have mentioned before, I am raising funds for a mission trip to South Korea to work with North Korean refugees, and could certainly use any help I can get financially. As an update (Please note that my Chipin widget does not reflect the full $2500 at this point, or the amount given. It only covers contributors that have donated online, so the rest of my donations have been received offline), I am currently sitting at $1485 donated (including what I am saving for this trip myself, minus, of course, what I'm saving for paying my living expenses Stateside while I'm off work for the month--that I have not included in the amount needed)! This up over $1000 from the $410 that I started Sunday afternoon at. God is faithful, my provider, and works mightily. As such, I will be faithful with what is given to me for this trip, and God will work mightily through me in Korea this summer.
Sunday, April 03, 2011
Updates on my mission funds + more!
My current fundraising has reached $410. I should be able, on top of money for rent while I'm away, to save around $600 for this trip. Maybe more or less, but my conservative estimate is $600.
That would bring my fundraising to around $1000. So, if 75 people donated $20 each to my trip, then I would undoubtedly be able to go.
When looking at the "I need $2500," I'm sure a lot of people think that what they are able to give wouldn't put a dent in the fundraising. But trust me, every single cent helps.
So I'm asking and hoping and praying, that I could see 75 people pledge $20 to my trip. Trust me, it would not be a wasted effort. Considering I have 481 friends on Facebook currently, I don't think it's an impossibility to see this happen.
Even if your finances only allow you to give less than that $20, I wouldn't discourage your giving. Remember:
Now, I'm obviously not telling you to give your last cent to my trip. But Jesus made it clear, that what you give will be blessed. So, think about what you can give to my trip.
==============================
On a completely unrelated note, I will be updating this blog with more writings. I have neglected to make regular posts, but I'm feeling the fire to write again. I'm working on my Chapel for class, and I feel like I will need to expound on that through here. So look forward to it.
That would bring my fundraising to around $1000. So, if 75 people donated $20 each to my trip, then I would undoubtedly be able to go.
When looking at the "I need $2500," I'm sure a lot of people think that what they are able to give wouldn't put a dent in the fundraising. But trust me, every single cent helps.
So I'm asking and hoping and praying, that I could see 75 people pledge $20 to my trip. Trust me, it would not be a wasted effort. Considering I have 481 friends on Facebook currently, I don't think it's an impossibility to see this happen.
Even if your finances only allow you to give less than that $20, I wouldn't discourage your giving. Remember:
Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. And he said "Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."
Now, I'm obviously not telling you to give your last cent to my trip. But Jesus made it clear, that what you give will be blessed. So, think about what you can give to my trip.
==============================
On a completely unrelated note, I will be updating this blog with more writings. I have neglected to make regular posts, but I'm feeling the fire to write again. I'm working on my Chapel for class, and I feel like I will need to expound on that through here. So look forward to it.
Friday, April 01, 2011
My upcoming mission trip opportunity
I just recently got accepted to a mission program for this summer! This is something that I've been waiting on for years. I first received my call to missions at the age of 7 at Ridgway First Baptist Church during VBS, but it has taken me so many years to finally see God begin to make this vision realized. Really excited about it, praying it will finally be that break I need. However, it's in Seoul, Korea. And I would be gone for a month. Given my current income and expenses, I cannot make it there on my own.
I've started putting out the call to people to help me out, both with prayer and financially. I'm praying that you can also be able to support me in both areas.
Right now I'm looking at uphill battles with airfare costing an exorbitant amount right now. That is my main concern. Currently, the cheapest I can fly there is around $1800. The program where I will be working says that they will be able to help with housing, so I will not have to pay for any lodging while I'm there.
I will also be responsible for my meals and transportation. I was over there a week last year, and spent around $40-$50 on transportation alone. However, that was with many buses, and mainly doing tourist stuff, and one long trip outside of Seoul, so that could be less weekly than I experienced. I would estimate $20 minimum. So that factors to about $100, or $200 if you take my very liberal first estimate. Food can be expensive over there, but I should honestly be fine with around $500, however, I'm honestly not sure. So all total, I'm needing around $2500 for this trip, and currently only have $250 pledged at this point.
I'm also not even factoring in the $500 I will need for rent on my apartment while I'm away so that I'm not evicted, but I can save that much for at least that. I will be shutting off any utilities I will not need while I'm away, such as cell phone, internet, and etc. to save money.
A little more about the mission I will be doing. I will be working with an organization called Durihana, which is an organization that helps North Korean refugees reach South Korea and obtain refugee status there. Once there, they are helped by the organization to obtain life skills necessary to operate and work in a modern society, and teach them various skills to find work and start a new life in South Korea, as well as teaching them the Gospel. What I will be doing is working with these refugees, teaching them English, teaching them the Gospel, and just reflecting Christ through my service and attitude there.
I will also be looking for various other opportunities to serve once there, but that will be my primary focus while I'm there.
I'm honestly praying that you can find a desire to help me out with this trip, through finances, prayer, advice, and anything else you can give me. How can you help financially? Well, I will be willing to receive cash, check or Paypal, as I am having to book everything on my own. Durihana is taking care of everything once I arrive, but they are not in charge of my fundraising efforts or booking.
So yes, all of the donations will go to me, in which I will use to book and pay for everything on this trip. Anything leftover at the end of trip would be donated to Durihana. If for some reason, I cannot go, all of your donations will be refunded.
You can donate via Paypal via the widget at the top-right side of my blog. This will help me keep track of my funds. If you are viewing this via Facebook, you may visit this link to donate, or you may also, if you cannot get it to load, message me for my Paypal address.
I could also use donated frequent flyer miles if you have them, especially through Delta, as Delta/Korean Air are my cheapest options at this point (and one where I actually already have miles stored). If you have any further questions, please feel free to let me know through here, by sending me messages on Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter, or by catching up with me at church. And also, the organization's website is http://www.durihana.net/, if you would like to know more about them.
I've started putting out the call to people to help me out, both with prayer and financially. I'm praying that you can also be able to support me in both areas.
Right now I'm looking at uphill battles with airfare costing an exorbitant amount right now. That is my main concern. Currently, the cheapest I can fly there is around $1800. The program where I will be working says that they will be able to help with housing, so I will not have to pay for any lodging while I'm there.
I will also be responsible for my meals and transportation. I was over there a week last year, and spent around $40-$50 on transportation alone. However, that was with many buses, and mainly doing tourist stuff, and one long trip outside of Seoul, so that could be less weekly than I experienced. I would estimate $20 minimum. So that factors to about $100, or $200 if you take my very liberal first estimate. Food can be expensive over there, but I should honestly be fine with around $500, however, I'm honestly not sure. So all total, I'm needing around $2500 for this trip, and currently only have $250 pledged at this point.
I'm also not even factoring in the $500 I will need for rent on my apartment while I'm away so that I'm not evicted, but I can save that much for at least that. I will be shutting off any utilities I will not need while I'm away, such as cell phone, internet, and etc. to save money.
A little more about the mission I will be doing. I will be working with an organization called Durihana, which is an organization that helps North Korean refugees reach South Korea and obtain refugee status there. Once there, they are helped by the organization to obtain life skills necessary to operate and work in a modern society, and teach them various skills to find work and start a new life in South Korea, as well as teaching them the Gospel. What I will be doing is working with these refugees, teaching them English, teaching them the Gospel, and just reflecting Christ through my service and attitude there.
I will also be looking for various other opportunities to serve once there, but that will be my primary focus while I'm there.
I'm honestly praying that you can find a desire to help me out with this trip, through finances, prayer, advice, and anything else you can give me. How can you help financially? Well, I will be willing to receive cash, check or Paypal, as I am having to book everything on my own. Durihana is taking care of everything once I arrive, but they are not in charge of my fundraising efforts or booking.
So yes, all of the donations will go to me, in which I will use to book and pay for everything on this trip. Anything leftover at the end of trip would be donated to Durihana. If for some reason, I cannot go, all of your donations will be refunded.
You can donate via Paypal via the widget at the top-right side of my blog. This will help me keep track of my funds. If you are viewing this via Facebook, you may visit this link to donate, or you may also, if you cannot get it to load, message me for my Paypal address.
I could also use donated frequent flyer miles if you have them, especially through Delta, as Delta/Korean Air are my cheapest options at this point (and one where I actually already have miles stored). If you have any further questions, please feel free to let me know through here, by sending me messages on Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter, or by catching up with me at church. And also, the organization's website is http://www.durihana.net/, if you would like to know more about them.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Should the Poor Steal to Sustain Their Life? A “Christian” Thought On Theft…
The Reverend Tim Jones from England has stated in a recent sermon that he feels that the poor should steal food from major department store chains if they have no other ethical means of receiving food to sustain their own lives.
'My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift,' he told his stunned congregation at St Lawrence and St Hilda in York.
'I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither.
'I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices.
’I would ask them not to take any more than they need. I offer the advice with a heavy heart. Let my words not be misrepresented as a simplistic call for people to shoplift.’
My question to Rev. Jones is this: If you have such a “heavy heart” for the poor, then why are you not doing anything meet the need that would cause them to steal in the first place?
So long as the church doors continue to open and close every Sabbath, that church is trusted with a responsibility. One that, as Jesus put it so well to Peter in John 21:15-17, is to “Feed my sheep” and “tend to my flock.” That not only applies to preaching to the flock, but literally, feeding them also. And you know what? It goes beyond that. Clothing them, sheltering them if need be. But if you are not doing these things, then you are failing to grasp what Jesus asked of pastors.
Jesus also went on to say, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” If Jesus commanded us to feed and tend to his flock, and we neglect to do so, simply put, WE DO NOT LOVE HIM!
Jesus went on to even suggest that to not do these things would be reflected as our attitude of what we would do for Jesus. When we look at what will happen in the end of days, Jesus said the world would be separated into two groups: one who did these things, and one who didn’t. To the one who did, he says, “Whatever you did unto the least of these, you have done to me.” That group enters Heaven. To the one who didn’t, he says “Whatever you didn’t do unto the least of these, neither have you done to me.” And that group enters the into eternal suffering and gnashing of the teeth.
Proverbs also says in 3:27-28 “Don’t withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do it. Don’t say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come again; tomorrow I will give it to you,’ when you have it by you.” If your church doors are able to open and shut, you have the means necessary to provide for the poor of your congregation, and those that pass by.
If there was a genuine, heavy, heart in this minister for the poor, that church would have either a food pantry, a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, or all of the above. He would not have to tell the poor in his congregation to steal from Wal-Mart & Co. in order to eat, because they would be fed by his church. And then he would be actually performing his God-ordained service to the world. But he has failed to realize this.
Beyond this, what he is now preaching as a spiritual right now throws “Sin is sin,” out of the window, and throws sin into a grey area. It throws it into a bracket where “Sin is sin, unless it’s in this circumstance, or another circumstance.” So, if we apply his teaching to other areas, murder is sin, unless it’s done against someone who wronged you (despite Jesus telling us to forgive seventy times seven times). Homosexuality is sin, unless you can’t find someone of the opposite sex to marry and have sex with (despite Leviticus, and Romans chapter 1 both saying that homosexuality is sexual sin, and an abomination of God, and even at a biological standpoint, has no procreatic purpose, only to satiate desires of the flesh). Lying is wrong, unless your lie makes someone feel good. Adultery is sin, unless your wife cheated on you first.
So my question is, where does the grey area stop? The answer is, it should’ve never began.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
83 Things
Level 1:
(X) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( )Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Drank Alcohol
SO FAR: 2
Level 2
(X) Are / Been In Love
(X) Been Dumped
() Shoplifted
() Been Fired
(X ) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 5
Level 4
(X) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(X)Skipped School
() Slept With A Co-worker
()Seen Someone / Something Die
SO FAR: 7
Level 5
( ) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(X) Been On A Plane
() Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 8
Level 6
(X) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(X) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook/Myspace
(X) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 11
Level 7
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Loved/Liked Someone Who You Can't Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 15
Level 8
() Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(X) Gone Mudding
() Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 18
Level 9
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
SO FAR: 23
Level 10
(X) Watched The Sun Set
(X) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
SO FAR: 25
Level 11
(X) Been Tickled
(X) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(X) Been Cheated On
(X) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 29
Level 12
(X) Won A Contest
(X) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
(X) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
SO FAR: 33
Level 13
() Had / Have Braces
(X) Eaten A Whole Pint Of Ice Cream In One Night
( ) Danced In The Moonlight
SO FAR: 34
Level 14
(X) Hated The Way You Look
(X) Witnessed A Crime
() Pole Danced
(X) Questioned Your Heart
() Been Obsessed With Post It Notes
So FAR: 37
Level 15
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
() Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 40
Level 16
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
( ) Recently Colored With Crayons/Colored Pencils/Markers
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
SO FAR: 44
Level 17
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls
(X) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 47
Level 18
(X) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(X) Watched The Sun Set/Sun Rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
( ) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere
SO FAR: 50
Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey
SO FAR: 52
Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
(X) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 53
Level 22
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
( ) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top
SO FAR: 54
Level 23
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(X) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) Talked On The Phone For More Than 4 Hours
(X) Recently Stayed Up For A While Talking To Someone You Care About
SO FAR: 58
Level 24
( ) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had/Been In A Tree House
(X) Been Scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 61
Level 25
(X) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
(X) Gone Streaking
(X) Visited Jail
SO FAR: 64
Level 26
( ) Played Chicken
(X) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(X) Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused
SO FAR: 67
Level 27
(X) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video
(X) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
( ) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 70
Level 28
(X) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(X) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(X) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping
(X) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
SO FAR: 75
Level 29
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(X) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
(X) Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 78
Level 31
(X) Been Used
() Fell Going Up The Stairs
(X) Licked by A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone
() Licked Someone
SO FAR: 81
Level 32
( ) Been Shot at or Maced
( ) Had Sex In The Rain
( ) Flattened Someones Tires
(X) Rode Your Bike/Driven Your Car Until The Fuel Light Came On
(X) Got Five dollars Or Less Worth Of Fuel
TOTAL: 83
(X) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( )Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Drank Alcohol
SO FAR: 2
Level 2
(X) Are / Been In Love
(X) Been Dumped
() Shoplifted
() Been Fired
(X ) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 5
Level 4
(X) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(X)Skipped School
() Slept With A Co-worker
()Seen Someone / Something Die
SO FAR: 7
Level 5
( ) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(X) Been On A Plane
() Thrown Up From Drinking
SO FAR: 8
Level 6
(X) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(X) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook/Myspace
(X) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 11
Level 7
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Loved/Liked Someone Who You Can't Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 15
Level 8
() Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(X) Gone Mudding
() Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 18
Level 9
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
SO FAR: 23
Level 10
(X) Watched The Sun Set
(X) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake
SO FAR: 25
Level 11
(X) Been Tickled
(X) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(X) Been Cheated On
(X) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 29
Level 12
(X) Won A Contest
(X) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
(X) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident
SO FAR: 33
Level 13
() Had / Have Braces
(X) Eaten A Whole Pint Of Ice Cream In One Night
( ) Danced In The Moonlight
SO FAR: 34
Level 14
(X) Hated The Way You Look
(X) Witnessed A Crime
() Pole Danced
(X) Questioned Your Heart
() Been Obsessed With Post It Notes
So FAR: 37
Level 15
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
() Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 40
Level 16
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
( ) Recently Colored With Crayons/Colored Pencils/Markers
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins
SO FAR: 44
Level 17
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls
(X) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 47
Level 18
(X) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(X) Watched The Sun Set/Sun Rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
( ) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere
SO FAR: 50
Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey
SO FAR: 52
Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
(X) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 53
Level 22
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
( ) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top
SO FAR: 54
Level 23
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(X) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) Talked On The Phone For More Than 4 Hours
(X) Recently Stayed Up For A While Talking To Someone You Care About
SO FAR: 58
Level 24
( ) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had/Been In A Tree House
(X) Been Scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 61
Level 25
(X) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
(X) Gone Streaking
(X) Visited Jail
SO FAR: 64
Level 26
( ) Played Chicken
(X) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(X) Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused
SO FAR: 67
Level 27
(X) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video
(X) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
( ) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 70
Level 28
(X) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(X) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(X) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping
(X) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
SO FAR: 75
Level 29
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(X) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
(X) Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 78
Level 31
(X) Been Used
() Fell Going Up The Stairs
(X) Licked by A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone
() Licked Someone
SO FAR: 81
Level 32
( ) Been Shot at or Maced
( ) Had Sex In The Rain
( ) Flattened Someones Tires
(X) Rode Your Bike/Driven Your Car Until The Fuel Light Came On
(X) Got Five dollars Or Less Worth Of Fuel
TOTAL: 83
Saturday, August 22, 2009
15 Films
Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen movies you've seen that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me because I'm interested in seeing what movies my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks, and tag people in the note -- upper right hand side.)
1. Happy Gilmore
2. Fight Club
3. Flywheel
4. The Mighty
5. Rocky
6. Miracle
7. Can't Hardly Wait
8. Forrest Gump
9. The Mighty Ducks
10. Passion of the Christ
11. Joe Dirt
12. Click
13. Street Fighter (As much as I wish otherwise)
14. UHF
15. Angus
1. Happy Gilmore
2. Fight Club
3. Flywheel
4. The Mighty
5. Rocky
6. Miracle
7. Can't Hardly Wait
8. Forrest Gump
9. The Mighty Ducks
10. Passion of the Christ
11. Joe Dirt
12. Click
13. Street Fighter (As much as I wish otherwise)
14. UHF
15. Angus
Monday, July 20, 2009
The Fall
Pride goes before the fall
And I know I'm falling
I just hope I'm not falling pridefully
Into the wrong pit
My pitfall is my pride
My humility not so near
Maybe if I fall hard enough
My mistakes will become clear
Maybe I'll stop this insanity
Maybe I'll end these methods of madness
Maybe this fall will change my perspective
And put an end to this sadness
Point of No Return
I'm standing at the edge of the cliff
Looking downward at the unknown
Afraid to take my next step
To jump or stay in this place
To walk away or move forward
Either way, I'm scared to commit
Either way, I'm afraid I am wrong
If I face my fears and jump
Maybe I grow, maybe I change
Maybe my situation will improve
But what if I keep freefalling
Into an abyss without end
If I stay here, I am in familiar territory
It won't change, but it doesn't matter
I won't be comfortable
Nor will I be jumping
At least this is familiar
But if I only could convince myself
As to how overrated familiarity is
I would jump off without hesitation
And remove myself from this struggle
Of hating life
Hating this grind
And hating myself
As well as everyone
And everything around me
And perhaps I would actually grow
Perhaps I would actually change
Perhaps I would finally love myself
Like God says He does
So I can actually love others that way
Instead of spending my life
With a knife behind my back
But it takes more courage
To put the knife down
Than it does to pick it up
The same as it does
To run off this cliff
And not look back
And my problems feel so large
That any forward motion
Seems like wasted effort
But I suppose this jump wouldn't be so valiant
If it wasn't done with all odds against its success
So knowing all of this
Why am I so scared of jumping?
Am I scared I will be alone on the other side?
Am I scared I will do this wrong and fail?
Am I scared things will be the same either way?
Or am I scared there will be no encouragement?
So here I am
Standing on the cliff
Heart ready, but legs unwilling
To take this leap of faith
And see my life make unparalleled changes
Monday, July 06, 2009
The Sitting Duck Fires Back
Where is the target
On my forehead
That you are aiming at
With your epithets
And callous words
I know you don't understand
The pain they inflict
You need a soul for that
And you sold that
For a gram of gank
So now you attack me
Without impunity
And all I can do
Is stand here and take it
While I pray to God
That I still have enough resistance
To not wire your jaw shut
I know it's running thin
And the temptation's running high
But as opposed to you
I know what's right and wrong
So go ahead
And run me into the ground
Or at least attempt to
Since that's what you're good at
But only one of us will be laughing
When you go in the ground
And it certainly won't be you.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
A Plea For Help
Why do I set myself to task on anything
When the end result is always the same
When I fall flat on my face again
Whose blame is it but myself
For getting my hopes high
Despite knowing the outcome before I begin
God, I can't keep trying
Without some success
When swimming through the sea of life
You want to have some forward motion
I have none
I feel like I'm treading water
Except I'm so tired
Feeling like I've been swimming for miles
Wishing the current would go ahead and pull me under
But like feces, I always seem to float to the top
God, I can't keep fighting
Unless You give me a puncher's chance
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
What Do You See?
My father refuses to go to church. Save for a wedding, he will not step foot into a church. He doesn't hate God. He is not the real definition of a Christian. You can see it in what he does.
The problem is the way my dad looks. He has long hair, keeps a scraggly goatee and mustache. He wears an earring. He doesn't wear nice clothes. He honestly can't afford to. He looks like an alcoholic. That's what he is, but recovering. When he talks, he has a speech impediment that causes him to slur his words.
And when he goes to church, people stare. People look at him like they look at bums on the street--with disdain. "What is he doing here?"
He got turned off by the reactions of "Christians" to the way he looks, and the person he is. He decided if that is what Christians act like, he doesn't want to be one.
What's sad is the fact that even if I tell my father that's not the way it is, he won't believe me, because those are the people who fill pews every Sunday. But the sad part is, some people just don't get the Christian life. They think that going to church on Sundays make them sanctified. Some think it's doing nothing but listening to Christian music, reading Christian literature, associating with only Christians, working in a Christian environment, and going to only Christian events. But what did Christ himself have to say on this subject?
There's quite a bit that doesn't correlate when you look at what Christ said and did during his time on earth.
Does this sound familiar?
Once again, I'm seeing some difference between what Jesus said and "how a Christian should consort."
It is no coincidence that these people end up in a church, because if these types of unruly people end up in a church, God has started to deal with their hearts. How then, can they continue to listen to what God's trying to tell them, when they enter His house of worship, and see people that proclaim to be His people snub their noses at them? If God's servants do that, then clearly God doesn't want them either. I'm not saying that as a truth, but more as what they begin to think after a church service where they feel downcast by everybody in the church.
Moreover, this kind of treatment is also the reason you see people who fall into sin fall further away. They face the shame of having to admit deep wrongdoings in a church where they will be looked down upon for doing so.
Have you forgotten where you came from? Because I know I haven't. I was an unruly teenager. I acted without regard to anything. Even after I became a Christian, I fell away, became a degenerate gambler, and lost all focus on God. But praise God for his mercy, because I might not still be alive had it not been for that.
And yet, because of that mercy, while it does set me apart in the spiritual realm as one whom is on God's side, it does not make me anything different here in the earthly realm. I'm still human. I still have problems. I still have to deal with sin and temptation daily. And whether you would admit it in public yourself, you still do too. And so does everyone else in this world. So how does that make us, as Christians, exempt from trying to show the love of Christ to the people who struggle with it the worst, the ones whose souls hang in the balance between damnation and salvation? Is it because we dress better on Sundays? I just can't understand it.
These people, like my own father, are the people who we need to be showing God's love to. And, believe it or not, we are not showing it by pretending they are not part of their congregation, or waving our hands up and down, and beating our chests, trying to proclaim how righteous we are. We don't do it by singing through worship without messing up, or by showing us how obedient we are by bowing our heads when the pastor prays. We do it by going up to them, shaking their hands, welcoming them to our church, introducing ourselves to them, saying we're happy we're there, and just getting to know them.
How is that so difficult? We, being the social beings we are, can do the same thing readily to other people who look Christian. Yet we can't do that to the people who need it most.
If I could challenge you, the reader, to do one thing on Sunday, it would be to find the person who looks most like a sinner in your church, walk up to them, and thank them for being there, and show them the real love of God. In fact, I pray that you will. It's not just their fate that hangs in the balance.
The problem is the way my dad looks. He has long hair, keeps a scraggly goatee and mustache. He wears an earring. He doesn't wear nice clothes. He honestly can't afford to. He looks like an alcoholic. That's what he is, but recovering. When he talks, he has a speech impediment that causes him to slur his words.
And when he goes to church, people stare. People look at him like they look at bums on the street--with disdain. "What is he doing here?"
He got turned off by the reactions of "Christians" to the way he looks, and the person he is. He decided if that is what Christians act like, he doesn't want to be one.
What's sad is the fact that even if I tell my father that's not the way it is, he won't believe me, because those are the people who fill pews every Sunday. But the sad part is, some people just don't get the Christian life. They think that going to church on Sundays make them sanctified. Some think it's doing nothing but listening to Christian music, reading Christian literature, associating with only Christians, working in a Christian environment, and going to only Christian events. But what did Christ himself have to say on this subject?
There's quite a bit that doesn't correlate when you look at what Christ said and did during his time on earth.
He entered and was passing through Jericho. There was a man named Zacchaeus. He was a chief tax collector, and he was rich.>He was trying to see who Jesus was, and couldn’t because of the crowd, because he was short.He ran on ahead, and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him, for he was to pass that way.When Jesus came to the place, he looked up and saw him, and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house.”He hurried, came down, and received him joyfully.When they saw it, they all murmured, saying, “He has gone in to lodge with a man who is a sinner.”
Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, half of my goods I give to the poor. If I have wrongfully exacted anything of anyone, I restore four times as much.”Jesus said to him, “Today, salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham.For the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost." (Luke 19:1-10; WEB Translation)
Does this sound familiar?
After these things he went out, and saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at the tax office, and said to him, “Follow me!”
He left everything, and rose up and followed him.Levi made a great feast for him in his house. There was a great crowd of tax collectors and others who were reclining with them.Their scribes and the Pharisees murmured against his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with the tax collectors and sinners?”Jesus answered them, “Those who are healthy have no need for a physician, but those who are sick do.I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:27-31; WEB Translation)
Once again, I'm seeing some difference between what Jesus said and "how a Christian should consort."
"He spoke also this parable to certain people who were convinced of their own righteousness, and who despised all othersTo be a Christian is defined as "one who follows Christ." To follow Christ, he has commissioned us to do the things that he did. I don't understand how we went so askew from that definition to believe that we don't have to welcome the sinners, and try to bring them to the grace of Christ Jesus, but somehow, that notion has become embedded in the vast majority of churches in the world today, and is the #1 deal breaker in a sinner's call to repentance. It even trumps the desire to continue in sin.
“Two men went up into the temple to pray; one was a Pharisee, and the other was a tax collector.The Pharisee stood and prayed to himself like this: ‘God, I thank you, that I am not like the rest of men, extortioners, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.I fast twice a week. I give tithes of all that I get.’But the tax collector, standing far away, wouldn’t even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14; WEB Translation)
It is no coincidence that these people end up in a church, because if these types of unruly people end up in a church, God has started to deal with their hearts. How then, can they continue to listen to what God's trying to tell them, when they enter His house of worship, and see people that proclaim to be His people snub their noses at them? If God's servants do that, then clearly God doesn't want them either. I'm not saying that as a truth, but more as what they begin to think after a church service where they feel downcast by everybody in the church.
Moreover, this kind of treatment is also the reason you see people who fall into sin fall further away. They face the shame of having to admit deep wrongdoings in a church where they will be looked down upon for doing so.
Have you forgotten where you came from? Because I know I haven't. I was an unruly teenager. I acted without regard to anything. Even after I became a Christian, I fell away, became a degenerate gambler, and lost all focus on God. But praise God for his mercy, because I might not still be alive had it not been for that.
And yet, because of that mercy, while it does set me apart in the spiritual realm as one whom is on God's side, it does not make me anything different here in the earthly realm. I'm still human. I still have problems. I still have to deal with sin and temptation daily. And whether you would admit it in public yourself, you still do too. And so does everyone else in this world. So how does that make us, as Christians, exempt from trying to show the love of Christ to the people who struggle with it the worst, the ones whose souls hang in the balance between damnation and salvation? Is it because we dress better on Sundays? I just can't understand it.
These people, like my own father, are the people who we need to be showing God's love to. And, believe it or not, we are not showing it by pretending they are not part of their congregation, or waving our hands up and down, and beating our chests, trying to proclaim how righteous we are. We don't do it by singing through worship without messing up, or by showing us how obedient we are by bowing our heads when the pastor prays. We do it by going up to them, shaking their hands, welcoming them to our church, introducing ourselves to them, saying we're happy we're there, and just getting to know them.
How is that so difficult? We, being the social beings we are, can do the same thing readily to other people who look Christian. Yet we can't do that to the people who need it most.
If I could challenge you, the reader, to do one thing on Sunday, it would be to find the person who looks most like a sinner in your church, walk up to them, and thank them for being there, and show them the real love of God. In fact, I pray that you will. It's not just their fate that hangs in the balance.
“But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. Before him all the nations will be gathered, and he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.He will set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left
Then the King will tell those on his right hand, ‘Come, blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;for I was hungry, and you gave me food to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in;naked, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you visited me; I was in prison, and you came to me.'
“Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, and feed you; or thirsty, and give you a drink? When did we see you as a stranger, and take you in; or naked, and clothe you? When did we see you sick, or in prison, and come to you?’
“The King will answer them, ‘Most assuredly I tell you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
Then he will say also to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire which is prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you didn’t give me food to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me no drink; I was a stranger, and you didn’t take me in; naked, and you didn’t clothe me; sick, and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
“Then they will also answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and didn’t help you?’
“Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Most assuredly I tell you, inasmuch as you didn’t do it to one of the least of these, you didn’t do it to me.’These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”
Friday, November 21, 2008
People keep posting these surveys
And I keep having nothing better to do at the time I see them, but to repost them. So, here it is.
WHAT IF...
I died:→
I kissed you:→
I fell:→
I lived next door to you:→
I showed up at your house unexpectedly:→
I stole something:→
I was murdered:→
I cried:→
I was hospitalized:→
::WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY::
Personality:→
Eyes:→
Hair:→
Family:→
Smile:→
::WOULD YOU::
Keep a secret if i told you one?→
Hold my hand?→
Study with me?→
Cook for me?→
Date me?→
::HAVE YOU EVER::
Lied to make me feel better?→
Wanted to kiss me?→
Wanted to kill me?→
Broke my heart?→
Thought I was unbearably annoying?→
Hated me?→
Wanted to tell me something but didn't?→
::More::
When and how did we meet?→
Describe me in three words:→
What was your first impression of me?→
What do you think of me now?→
What reminds you of me?→
When is the last time you saw me?→
Are you gonna repost this to see what I say?→
WHAT IF...
I died:→
I kissed you:→
I fell:→
I lived next door to you:→
I showed up at your house unexpectedly:→
I stole something:→
I was murdered:→
I cried:→
I was hospitalized:→
::WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY::
Personality:→
Eyes:→
Hair:→
Family:→
Smile:→
::WOULD YOU::
Keep a secret if i told you one?→
Hold my hand?→
Study with me?→
Cook for me?→
Date me?→
::HAVE YOU EVER::
Lied to make me feel better?→
Wanted to kiss me?→
Wanted to kill me?→
Broke my heart?→
Thought I was unbearably annoying?→
Hated me?→
Wanted to tell me something but didn't?→
::More::
When and how did we meet?→
Describe me in three words:→
What was your first impression of me?→
What do you think of me now?→
What reminds you of me?→
When is the last time you saw me?→
Are you gonna repost this to see what I say?→
Thursday, November 13, 2008
16
Ok, so Trish tagged me in this, so as to not disappoint, I decided to go with this myself. You'll only see the people I tagged on my Facebook, but yeah, whatever.
Directions:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random
things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end
choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose
them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
1. I love my family very much. With that said, I have one of the most dysfunctional relationships ever with my Mom and Dad. And sadly, right now, my mom and I are not speaking at all. Strangely enough, my relationship with my extended family is on the regular, pretty good.
2. I have a temper. It used to be really explosive, and would scare even me. I got it from my dad, as I found out firsthand. It has toned down over the years, but I still find myself praying that it gets taken away.
3. I feel called into the mission field, and have, as of late been feeling a call to go into pastoral work eventually. I know I'm not ready for any of the above yet.
4. I, unlike a lot of guys, dream about getting married. I don't want to rush into anything, I want to make sure that I'm with who I'm supposed to be with, as I won't take divorce in as an option. I would like 2 kids, whether it be natural or adoption.
5. All but one of my ex-girlfriends have cheated on me. The last one put a nail in the coffin on dating for quite a while. Maybe I just have bad taste in women? I hope not, because I disagree with pretty much everyone else's taste who tries to hook me up. Actually, in all honesty, a lot of my exes were during times I haven't been living for God, so it's probably that I was looking for the wrong people. I know there's someone out there for me.
6. Despite having many passions, I am rather inconsistent with what I focus on. The only things I have really put full effort in was music and poker.
7. My relationship with God has been streaky, where I will be full-force for a while, lukewarm the next minute, and dry the next. I attribute it to the fact that I have a hard time trusting people because of that backbiting I've experienced, that I take that experience into this relationship. I'm working on correcting this.
8. I have a photographic memory. I can remember the smallest details of something that happened (get this) 21 years ago. My short term memory, however, can be lacking at times.
9. I am one of those techno-geek types. Right now I have sitting in my living room floors various a soldering iron, a bunch of project boxes, and various circuit boards from video game controllers in an attempt to build a joystick for fighting games. I also can read HTML just as good as I can read the actual webpage, and know way too much about computers.
10. Despite having so many hobbies, I have a hard time letting go of stress. I'm trying to learn how though.
11. I'm very social now, but that wasn't always the case. I still have my introverted sides, and probably always will, but I've gotten better over time.
12. I love nature, but prefer to be indoors relaxing over nature hikes and ish like that.
13. I've burned a lot of bridges with friends that I wish I still have. A lot of it was due to my lack of contact with them while I was living in Indianapolis, and I regret that decision to this day.
14. Despite the fact that I now can't stand the game, I don't regret playing poker all the time I did. I was good at it, and it taught me a lot of life lessons that I needed to learn. However, it did wind up grating at my sanity.
15. I watch the same movies over and over again, despite a desire to watch something else. It gets to the point where I memorize the lines of the entire movie. All I need to say is that I can still recite Happy Gilmore, word for word.
16. All but two of my ex-girlfriends have been younger than me. I don't see where age makes that much difference, but I tend to get along better with the younger females I date. I don't know whether that's an exhibition of my immaturity or if it's just that I have more in common with them.
Tagged:
Avi: Yeah, I know you said you may not do this, but I demand it.
Jake: I can only imagine what will be put here.
Autumn: This should be intriguing.
James: This is my brother from another mother pretty much. Scary thing is, ours will read similar. Just you watch.
Harley: Hilarity will ensue.
Lina: I highly doubt she'll actually fill this out, but I can imagine this one also being interesting.
Robbie: This is a great guy who I respect highly, and would like to hear more of what goes on in his mind.
Adrian: If he's still off work, he may just be bored enough to fill this out.
Beka: I know more about the rest of your family than you. Fill this out.
Napa: Once again, hilarity could ensue.
Joey: Fill this out, Mr. Herman demands it.
Dane: Don't know what's going on in your life lately bud. Would like to hear about it.
Christian: Hi.
Wut: This guy is awesome, and his rendition of this will probably read like that of a great testimony.
Venson: Once again, someone I haven't heard from in a while, and would like to hear more from.
Sam: Will probably read something along the lines of "I like stuff" 16 times, but whatever.
Directions:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random
things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end
choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose
them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
1. I love my family very much. With that said, I have one of the most dysfunctional relationships ever with my Mom and Dad. And sadly, right now, my mom and I are not speaking at all. Strangely enough, my relationship with my extended family is on the regular, pretty good.
2. I have a temper. It used to be really explosive, and would scare even me. I got it from my dad, as I found out firsthand. It has toned down over the years, but I still find myself praying that it gets taken away.
3. I feel called into the mission field, and have, as of late been feeling a call to go into pastoral work eventually. I know I'm not ready for any of the above yet.
4. I, unlike a lot of guys, dream about getting married. I don't want to rush into anything, I want to make sure that I'm with who I'm supposed to be with, as I won't take divorce in as an option. I would like 2 kids, whether it be natural or adoption.
5. All but one of my ex-girlfriends have cheated on me. The last one put a nail in the coffin on dating for quite a while. Maybe I just have bad taste in women? I hope not, because I disagree with pretty much everyone else's taste who tries to hook me up. Actually, in all honesty, a lot of my exes were during times I haven't been living for God, so it's probably that I was looking for the wrong people. I know there's someone out there for me.
6. Despite having many passions, I am rather inconsistent with what I focus on. The only things I have really put full effort in was music and poker.
7. My relationship with God has been streaky, where I will be full-force for a while, lukewarm the next minute, and dry the next. I attribute it to the fact that I have a hard time trusting people because of that backbiting I've experienced, that I take that experience into this relationship. I'm working on correcting this.
8. I have a photographic memory. I can remember the smallest details of something that happened (get this) 21 years ago. My short term memory, however, can be lacking at times.
9. I am one of those techno-geek types. Right now I have sitting in my living room floors various a soldering iron, a bunch of project boxes, and various circuit boards from video game controllers in an attempt to build a joystick for fighting games. I also can read HTML just as good as I can read the actual webpage, and know way too much about computers.
10. Despite having so many hobbies, I have a hard time letting go of stress. I'm trying to learn how though.
11. I'm very social now, but that wasn't always the case. I still have my introverted sides, and probably always will, but I've gotten better over time.
12. I love nature, but prefer to be indoors relaxing over nature hikes and ish like that.
13. I've burned a lot of bridges with friends that I wish I still have. A lot of it was due to my lack of contact with them while I was living in Indianapolis, and I regret that decision to this day.
14. Despite the fact that I now can't stand the game, I don't regret playing poker all the time I did. I was good at it, and it taught me a lot of life lessons that I needed to learn. However, it did wind up grating at my sanity.
15. I watch the same movies over and over again, despite a desire to watch something else. It gets to the point where I memorize the lines of the entire movie. All I need to say is that I can still recite Happy Gilmore, word for word.
16. All but two of my ex-girlfriends have been younger than me. I don't see where age makes that much difference, but I tend to get along better with the younger females I date. I don't know whether that's an exhibition of my immaturity or if it's just that I have more in common with them.
Tagged:
Avi: Yeah, I know you said you may not do this, but I demand it.
Jake: I can only imagine what will be put here.
Autumn: This should be intriguing.
James: This is my brother from another mother pretty much. Scary thing is, ours will read similar. Just you watch.
Harley: Hilarity will ensue.
Lina: I highly doubt she'll actually fill this out, but I can imagine this one also being interesting.
Robbie: This is a great guy who I respect highly, and would like to hear more of what goes on in his mind.
Adrian: If he's still off work, he may just be bored enough to fill this out.
Beka: I know more about the rest of your family than you. Fill this out.
Napa: Once again, hilarity could ensue.
Joey: Fill this out, Mr. Herman demands it.
Dane: Don't know what's going on in your life lately bud. Would like to hear about it.
Christian: Hi.
Wut: This guy is awesome, and his rendition of this will probably read like that of a great testimony.
Venson: Once again, someone I haven't heard from in a while, and would like to hear more from.
Sam: Will probably read something along the lines of "I like stuff" 16 times, but whatever.
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