Was King wrong?

I'm beginning to believe so...at least partially wrong.

40 years later, and I'm still not sure all the words Dr. King spoke in Washington will ever come to pass.  That does not mean that I don't believe them to be true, I just believe that everything he said was way too idealistic for society even as a majority to ever hope to accomplish.

It's easy to say we can judge people by the content of their character...if they look like you.  No one is able to judge people by the content of their character if they don't because they cannot get past the color of their skin.  We can live side-by-side with people of different races, but that doesn't mean we accept them.  We're just in "live and let live" mode.

When it comes down to the bitter truth, and comes time to decide something important based on race, we still fall back on ours and our ancestors' prejudices.  No man can love a woman (or vice versa) from a different race without society as a majority, even those we hold so close, stepping in between them and saying it's wrong.  People will not trust another person from a different race because no one really can trust what is different.  We can say we can do these things, but in the end, our stereotypes will always come into play, whether we want to admit it or not.  And as such:

• White people will always be gluttonous, opportunistic, and power-hungry backstabbers.
• Black people will always be lazy, angry, and criminals.
• Asians will always be good at math, bad drivers, and quick to butcher English, while their women will always be green card-grubbing.
• Arabs will always be terrorists and jihad-obsessed.
• Hispanics will always be fence jumpers and cheap wage job thieves.
• East Indians will always be slurpee machines and piss-poor tech support.

It's sad, but it's true.  At least in the eyes of the whole world, because that's all they can see, and not the whole person.  And anyone from one race who believes differently about another race will be told that they are wrong, and that they will see how wrong they are soon.  If they don't see it, then they are delusional according to everyone else.

Saying that there have been steps taken in the correct direction are irrational, because those steps were, and still are, taken with everyone spitting in their faces.

You can say that KKK, Black Panther, and various other hate groups' membership numbers have dwindled.  That doesn't change the fact that people still privately harbor racial prejudices.

In the end, Dr. King had a dream.  I will admit that it was a good one, and one that I believed, and still cling to strands of belief, in. But in the end, maybe it's time to face the fact that it was just that: a dream.

Blowing Brains Through the Airplane

I would point the gun at you
Just to make myself feel better
Even if it's just temporary pleasure
It could cause you an eternity of pain
If I could make this easier
And promise everything would be fine
I would do whatever it took
To make it happen
But knowing what I know now
It's just too hard to take that chance
It's not easy to destroy your life
On this one slim hope of something real
I would point the gun at myself
Just to make you feel better
So let's say our goodbyes
Because I'm playing Russian Roulette tonight

T-minus 17 days

I'll probably write another one of these before I leave, but I'm just so anxious I can't even take it.

February 1st, I leave for Chicago.  I know that isn't a huge thing in normal terms.  For me, however, this trip will be monumental.

Why?  Because on February 2nd, Hyunsil will be joining me there.

Yes, you heard me right.  I know I've said me and Hyunsil are meeting up several times in the past, but this time it is for sure.  She has bought her plane ticket here.  She has her Visa.  We have arranged the hotel room and bought train tickets back to Indianapolis.  It is 100% certain that she is coming.

And yes, she is coming to stay with me for a while.  And we are headed back to So. ILL for a little bit too.  It's completely official.

She arrives on the 2nd, and leaves on the 5th of March.  Which gives us a little more than a month together.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am in shock.  Like, I have been dreaming of this happening for the longest time, but began to doubt that it would ever come about.  Now it's certain that it will.  I can't even fathom it.

As for the next couple weeks, I have to deal with the logistical nightmare of planning and plotting this out.  I'm pretty much done, but it's still a nightmare.  Including one thing I dread more than anything: O'Hare.  I'm to meet her at O'Hare, and we'll be taking the shuttle back to the hotel.  Unfortunately, I cannot go within the terminal she arrives from because I do not have a ticket, and the way it appears, the instant she clears customs, she is in the parking lot.  What a nightmare.  Now I've got to figure out a meeting place.

Considering O'Hare, this may take up until the last possible minute that I have to synchronize this meeting place with her to figure it out.

...I really hate O'Hare.  But O'Hare will not daunt me now.  Hyunsil will be waiting for me in almost 2 weeks.  I will kick security in the nuts to meet up with her if needs be.

***********DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT A TERRORIST. KTHXBYE***********

The Verizon Files: Google!

I have had calls that made me lose my composure on the phone before.  I have literally crushed Tylenol bottles beyond the point of recognition during calls, because I knew if I took my aggression out on said bottle, I wouldn't take it out on the customer.  I'm a scrawny guy, with very little muscle mass, so for me to crush a Tylenol bottle is a feat in itself.

Unfortunately, there's some calls that go longer than it took for me to squeeze a Tylenol bottle to oblivion, and thus, take some of the brunt of my agitation at that point.  This guy is a poster boy for these kind of moments.

I had this guy on the line, and had to put his username and password into his modem. Seems simple right? WRONG! This guy is getting a bad IP. I know this because whenever he tries to pull a webpage, it says "Unable to access the Verizon network." But, for the sake of putting it in my notes, I have to prove he has a bad IP.

To do this, we have to pull up a page in the modem. To do this, at the top of EVERY FREAKING PAGE in the modem, there is the following menu:

Westell Logo---Home----Status----Configuration----Troubleshooting----Help

And when you pull down the Status menu, it shows as above, but with Connection Summary and About underneath Status. We're going to go to Connection Summary. Sounds easy?

...here is the conversation that ensued.

Me: Sir, are we back at the Westell page?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Ok, please click on Status, and then Connection Summary.
Customer: Where is that at?
Me: It's at the top of the Westell page.
Customer: I don't see it.
Me: Scroll up to the top of the Westell page.
Customer: Ok. (Fake scrolls up I think)
Me: Do you see the Westell logo?
Customer: No! I don't see it! Can you be more specific?
Me: Look at the top of your page in Internet Explorer, and please tell me what you see.
Customer: Wirespeed Dual Connect - Microsoft Internet Explorer
Me: ....Sir, that is the title bar of Internet Explorer.
Customer: No it's not.
Me: Yes it is.
Customer: No, no, no.
Me: Yes, yes, yes.
Customer: No, I am looking at the top of Internet Explorer like you said.
Me: No sir, I said the top of the page in your Internet Explorer, not the top of your screen.
Customer: Can you please be more specific?
Me: Fine. Look at the very top of the screen. Do you see where it says Wirespeed Dual Connect?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Great. Do you see below that File, Edit, View, Favorites, Tools and Help?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Great. Do you see below that Back, Forward, Stop, Refresh, and Home?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Great. Do you see the address bar below that?
Customer: Yes.
Me: And below that do you see the Westell logo, then, Status, Configuration, Troubleshooting, and Help?
Customer: NO!
Me: ...What do you see then?
Customer: GOOGLE!
Me: ...Google?
Customer: Yeah. Google Links, Google Mail, Google Popups, Google Search...
Me: ...Sir, that's a toolbar.
Customer: Yeah. What do you want me to click? Google Links? Ok I'll click--
Me: No! Don't click anything.
Customer: Ok, I'll click on Goo--
Me: NO! DON'T CLICK ON GOOGLE!
Customer: But google...
Me: NO! FORGET GOOGLE! WE DON'T NEED GOOGLE! WE'RE NOT EVEN ONLINE RIGHT NOW, SO HOW CAN YOU DO ANYTHING WITH GOOGLE! FOR RIGHT NOW, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, FORGET THAT GOOGLE EVEN EXISTS!
Customer: ...Ok.
Me: Below your Google toolbar...
Customer: But you said forget Google...
Me: Shut up. Below the toolbar, do you see the Westell logo, Home, Status, Configuration, Troubleshooting, and Help?
Customer: NO! Can you be more specific?
Me: It doesn't get more specific than that.
Customer: It has to.
Me: Please hold.
Customer: Ok.

*After I wipe the tears from my eyes, I decide to find the direct URL to that page in my notes*

Me: Ok, sir, type this in on the address bar please. *give full URL*
Customer: Ok.
Me: Where did it take you?
Customer: Nowhere.
Me: Did you hit enter?
Customer: No.
Me: Hit enter please.
Customer: Ok.
Me: Now, where did it take you?
Customer: Page cannot be displayed.
Me: Oh, for God's sake. Hit Back.
Customer: Ok.
Me: Now, do you see that menu?
Customer: No.
Me: Hit F5 on your keyboard. (For those of you who don't know, F5 is a shortcut to Refresh)
Customer: Ok.
Me: Now do you see the Westell menu?
Customer: Yes.
Me: Thanks, genious. You wasted 20 minutes on something that could've been solved by scrolling up.

And there you have it.

The Verizon Files: Them Ain't Lice!

My first week out of Tank was very interesting, to say the least.  Some of it can be contributed to the fact that I still was going into calls blind, and how no clue for the most part, what I was doing.  However, I can state for a fact that most of it was due to the following call.

You would think that having lived in Southern Illinois my whole life would have desensitized me to redneck activity.  However, in all my days of living there, never has anyone fallen under the redneck stereotype in my opinion more than this caller: a women living with her mother and her three children in North Carolina.

Thick Southern accent aside, every statement that came out of her mouth drove the stereotype further and further home for me.  After she explained that she couldn't get online, she then accused her Momma of doing it:  "She knows nothin bout them computers.  All she does is play them there online games.  I went and done got some computer learnin books at the Wal-Mart for her, and she went mad and said, 'I don't need them there learnin books to learn how to use that dern computer; all I want to do is play my online games.'  She loves them there online games..."

I'll take Infamous Grammar Police Raids for $1000, Alex.

As I'm begin to ask her about her equipment so that I can start helping her fix this, I hear her scream into the other room, to her kids, the following statement: "THEM AIN'T LICE!"

If there was a moment where I thought I could not be hearing what I thought I was hearing, and just didn't want to ask if I WAS hearing what I thought I was hearing, this was it.  However, she felt the necessity to clarify that she said exactly what I thought I heard, and WHY SHE SAID IT:

"Those damned kids in there were picking at that there dog we have, and thought it had lice.  They love lice."

I wish to GOD I was not making that last sentence up.  She said that, and if I'm lying, I'm dying.

By this time, I have her on mute laughing at her, taking breathers, and help her fix her connection.  I figured this was the worst this call could possibly get.  But just when I assumed that, she proved that she could continue to shock and amaze.

I took her into her modem's setup page to type in her user ID and a temporary password.  The user ID, which she doesn't know, because it's different than her username, ends in Zero.  You know, 0.  I even told her as I gave her the password, "The number Zero."

Well, when I tried to take her to Verizon's homepage to change her password, it gave us an error.  So, I had to go back into the modem to confirm what I already knew: she typed the user ID in wrong. I have her read back the user ID to me, and that Zero has magically changed into an O.  Which, it's an honest mistake, people do it all the time.  However, what was then said between us, is NOT an honest mistake.

Me: Ma'am, that last character is a Zero, not an O.
Her: Oh, you mean the NUMBER Zero!
Me: ..................Yes.  As opposed to the NEW alphabet that's going around where the letter C is now written as 758349, this is a numerical Zero.

If the South would've won...

I guess it's time for an annual survey.

I think I did this one before.  I'm not sure.  I don't remember whether I did or not.  If I did, oh well, I'm doing it again.  And then I'll just compare answers from the last time.

Name: Corey
Siblings By Blood: none
Brothers: none
Sisters: none
Eye color: dark brown
Shoe size: 10 1/2
Height: 5'9"
Innie or Outie: innie
What are you wearing right now?: boxer shorts
Where do you live?: Indianapolis
Righty or lefty: righty.
Best place to go for a first date: to a nice restaurant followed by a walk (if it's warm out)
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Favorites
Number: 147
Boys Name: adam
Girls Name: katrina
Drink: propel fitness water or barq's root beer
Month: April
Juice: orange juice
Breakfast: Cereal bars
 -----------------------------------------------------------------
Have You Ever..
Smoked: yes
Bungee jumped: no
Made yourself throw-up: no
Gone skinny dipping: no
Loved somebody so much it made you cry: Yes
Broken a bone: Yes, my toe twice, once playing hackeysack, and once playing poker (believe me, don't ask)
Played Truth or Dare: yes
Been in a police car: no
Came close to dying: yes, seriously, yes, i almost died in '03.
Been in a sauna: no
Been in a hot tub: yes
Swam in the ocean: no
Fallen asleep in school: School = sleep
Broken someone's heart: I don't know.
Cried when someone died: Yes.
Cried in school: Yeah, that was a horrible day.
Fell off your chair: Countless times.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Yes
Saved AIM conversation: I save the all.
Saved e-mails: I'm an e-mail packrat thanks to Gmail.
Made out with just a friend: no.
Been cheated on: Yes, but I had found out AFTER we broke up, so it didn't phase me too much.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
What is...
What's your room like: like a basement or something
What is beside you: water, tissues, and food.
What is the last thing you ate: chicken soup
What kind of shampoo do you use: whatever's in the shower
------------------------------------------------------------
Ever Had...
Chicken pox: nope
Sore throat: yeah, right now.
Stitches: yes
Broken nose: technically
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Do You...
Believe in love at first sight: No
Like picnics: Yes
Like school: No
---------------------------------------------
Questions:
Who was the last person you called: Cat
Who was the last person you danced with: wow, that's been a long time...i seriously have no clue.
Who makes you smile: hyunsil
------------------------------------------------------------
Who...
Did you last yell at: some donk in 3-6 razz, but he didn't know it.
Broke your heart last: Cat
Told you they loved you last? Grandma
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Do you like filling these out: meh...
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses: neither
Do you like yourself: sometimes
get along with your family?: sometimes
-----------------------------------------------
What are you listening to right now: my humidifier
What did you do yesterday?: nothing.
Hated someone in your family: i hate my dad with a passion
What car do you wish to have: bmw z3
Where do you want to get married: someplace beautiful, doesn't really matter.
Good driver: yes, my Saturn wrecked itself.
Good singer: i'm a good screamer
Diamond or pearl: diamond
Indoor or outdoor: indoor
 ---------------------------------------------------------
Today did you...
1. Talk to someone you liked: yes
2. Buy something: yes
3. Get sick: yes
4. Sing: no
5. Talked to an ex: no
6. Miss someone: Yes
-----------------------------------------------------
Last person who....
10. Was in your bed?: me
11. Saw you cry: mom
12. Made you cry: Cat
13. Went to the movies with: Jake, Caleb and Ashley
14. You went to the mall with: mom
16. Ever been in a fight with your pet: when i had to put nametags on them
17. Been to California: no
18. Been to Mexico: no
19. Been to Canada: no
20. Been to Africa: no
--------------------------------------------------------
Random.....
21. Who was your first celebrity crush: Dolly Parton (sad, right?)
22. What books are you reading now: Ace on the River, Sklansky on Poker
23. Best feeling in the world: Going deep in a huge tourney for a sum of money that makes a difference to you.
24. Future KIDS names: not sure
25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: no
26. What's under your bed: nothing
27. Favorite sport to watch: hockey
28. Favorite location?: I'll go out on a limb and say Vegas.
29. Piercing/Tattoos: Neither
32. Who do you really hate?: my dad, jamie gold, kelis
33. Do you have a job?: not exactly
35. Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with? yes
37. Are you lonely right now: yes
38. Song that's stuck in your head right now: woman by wolmother
39. Have you ever played strip poker: yes, but no one wanted to play with me
40. Have you ever gotten beat up: yes
43. Have you ever been in a mosh-pit: yes
44. Ever liked someone but thought they'd never noticed you? yes
__________________________________________
random

What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?: their face
Your Favorite Food?: pasta & korean food (rock the bulgogi)
Have you ever cried for no reason?: yes
Hugs or kisses?: kisses.
Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?: butter
Favorite Flower?: red roses
Have you ever fired a gun?: yes
Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car?: car
How many pillows do you sleep with: one, sometimes two.

2007 New Year Resolutions

Happy new year everyone.  It is now time for me to make my new years resolutions.  I'm actually shooting off the hip for the most part with this.

1. Start exercising again.  I definitely feel drained a lot, and I know it's due to me not getting any exercise.  I also feel my mental focus slipping, which can also be attributed to it.
2. Learn to speak Korean, at least at some level of competency.  I've been trying to learn for almost 4 years, and have really gotten nowhere.  I would definitely like to be able to speak, read, and understand it.
3. Continue improving my poker game.  It's starting to step up, but I still have a LOOOOOOOONG way to go. If I could win the WSOP Razz event, FTOPS Razz Event, and/or WCOOP Razz event this year, I would be extremely satisfied.
4. Finally get to meet Hyunsil.  Hopefully to God, if everything goes like it's SUPPOSED to, this is supposed to happen in early February.
5. Update Josh in the Ghetto regularly (updates will resume on the 2nd).
   

147 Year In Review: 2006

Wow, I almost completely forgot to do the YIR this year. Now, it's time to get busy.

Where the crap do I start? I guess in chronological order (or the best I possibly can).

It all starts on a cold rainy night in February, when Jake and I are driving out of Calltech. A large black woman, about 300 lbs, walks out in front of our car. We stop and wave her through. She gets bug-eyed and mental, stares us down like a deer caught in the headlights. Then, she does something uncharacteristic of a deer caught in the headlights. She goes into this Beyonce-esque dance sequence for 10 seconds before walking off. Ok?

That incident is still known as the Fat Beyonce incident, as it will be for the rest of our lives. Yet another reason why I wish we never created National Talk Ghetto Month. It's a curse.

Over the year, I have been chased around the house for the following items:

• A bag of potato chips
• A penny
• A frozen pizza
• A box of oreos (This chase scene was done naked)

Speaking of naked, no one will ever forget the morning I gave someone a naked wake-up call. No one will forget, because no one will ever consider asking me to give a wake-up call anymore. Which was the entire idea behind the naked wake-up call. I think I could go into business for myself with this...for a short period of time.

No one can ever forget my Verizon files, which are some of the funniest things ever. Which, the rest of them will be up in January.

Not to mention the days where I had to call Linksys over this year. All those epics will never be forgotten. They probably use my calls to desensitize their agents to screaming belligerence.

Remind me to never go to Steak 'N Shake in 2007. During this year the following happened:

• Got hit on by an emo girl.
• Got asked if I wanted to by a hip-hop CD by an emo guy.
• Almost got killed when someone in my party (who was white) said "NIGGA!" with a black guy behind us.

We must not forget the day I scared Jake to death. It was documented on FCP, and here's the full story, as this is one of the greatest things to ever happen:

So, I had a friend pick me up at work tonight, because my car's out of commission right now. As I'm getting out the doors, I see his car, sitting in front of the doors with the lights on, but I look, and he's reclined the seat, and he's asleep. And then the thoughts entered my mind. My conscience is fighting them off, screaming, "NO! HE'S GONNA KILL YOU! DON'T DO IT!"

As I approach the car, I move slowly around to the driver's side so as not to wake him. As I cross to the driver's side, I slowly creep up to the hood. I then JUMP on top of the hood, and splat my face across the windshield screaming.

He bounces up out of the seat, screaming like a five-year-old girl, and his arms are flailing around the car in God knows what directions, all the while he is hopping ON HIS ASS UP THE RECLINED SEAT. Then he realizes it's me, and the look of sheer anger pull across his face as he screams, "GET IN THE CAR DOUCHEBAG!"

Now my conscience is screaming, "I TOLD YOU, DUMBASS! BUT YOU JUST HAD TO PULL A FUNNY!"

And apparently, my shut up filter wasn't on, because as soon as I got in the car, I said, "I suppose this isn't the best time to tell you I need to go to Wal-Mart? I'm out of shampoo."

Any time after that, the only words out of his mouth was "SCREW YOU!"

So yeah, I felt bad. And it was seriously wrong. But oh my God, was it funny. I was laughing so hard on the way home that tears were streaming down my face.

By the way, he never took me to Wal-Mart. So I just "borrowed" his car and got my friggin shampoo.

This has been one of the best years in poker for me ever. Actually, it is the best year in poker for me. As has been documented, I won several tournaments this year, and finished 13th in the WCOOP Razz event. I also got a 5th place finish in a $25K guaranteed tournament just a few weeks ago. Pretty insane for me, I have been doing well making money, and feel extremely blessed.

Back to the funny. Meijer was a center of amusement. As in, Aimee almost killed me in one this year, as we discovered she is OCD when it comes to disorganized shelves at stores. Which caused me to run, nay, dance, around Meijer and move around items on the shelves. She was en route to killing me, but wasn't gaining any ground really, because she was having to stop to clean up my messes. So if Aimee ever tries to kill you, now you know how to defend against it.

Also, while Aimee was here, we invented water faucets. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Plus, let's never forget the greatest payment of a traffic ticket ever.  It was documented in this very blog.

One will also never forget my publicized IM conversations, documented in 147's Musings.

Is that it? Oh yeah, Joe's nutcracker at the card shop was quite classic. I got really used to that floor that day.

Then, JOE'S BROTHER, at the same card shop, makes a scary face at me, and then rides me like a shetland pony. Don't ask, you don't want to know.

I think that's officially it. Here's to a bizarre 2006, hopefully 2007 will be something to blog about too!

The String

I woke up today and opened my eyes
Wishing I was already dead
Wishing my life would go right
Wishing this string of hurt would just break
This string has tied itself around me
Like a tangled and twisted web
I look for a way to escape it
And I find there is none
So I struggle and fight
To break free of this string
But the struggle makes the string wrap tighter
And the fight wears me out
Is it my own fault that I'm stuck in this mess?
I wish I could point fingers, but I can't
The string points my fingers back at me
And I know it's true, I'm to blame
The string grows tighter
And drains the hope and the life out of me
I'm so tired of being tired of being stuck here
But it's all I can do until I break free
So I collapse back onto my bed
And cry myself to sleep
Maybe I'll find the scissors tomorrow

Unpaved

My heart is burning like I've never felt it burn
My soul is yearning like I've never felt it yearn
And I didn't know it was possible
I never though I was capable of this
Part of me leaps for joy
The other part tries to stay grounded
Because I know the road isn't paved yet
But never have I felt anything so splendid
Oh, how I hope that you can complete me
And how I pray to God that he'd bless me
You would be the blessing I never thought I'd attain
If everything in my life was loss, at least you would be gain
You've lifted me up when I couldn't stop falling
You took the knife from my hands when I wanted to die
You've shown me God in every word you speak
You've shown me love I never thought I could feel
I lay in bed hoping and praying
And counting my blessings
Because you wandered into my life
On an unpaved road to my heart

Sometimes: A Poem by Me

Sometimes hope goes beyond what you see
To the core of everything
Even when your heart is completely black
Hope is still lingering

Sometimes strength is unmeasurable
Sometimes we don't know our own
Sometimes the weakest among us
Is the one that moves the largest stone

Sometimes love is our rock
Sometimes we're stranded in a storm
But if we remember what love looks like
We'll never be alone

Sometimes we're understanding
Sometimes we're not
But somehow things get mended
No matter how hard we fought

Sometimes our faith is a beacon
Sometimes we can't believe
But as long as we don't give up
Hope will go beyond what we see

Linksys Will Learn Not To Send Me Surveys

Originally posted on FullContactPoker on May 19th.

So, every time I call Linksys (which is once every week it seems like now), they send me another damn survey to fill out. I refused to fill them out.

I ultimately have had it, and when the opportunity arose again, I decided to fill them out.

After giving them poor marks across the board, they give me a spot where I can type. The subject:

What can we do to improve your experience with Linksys?

You insolent fools.

So here's what I wrote:

First: Stop outsourcing to India. Second: Stop making your routers out of plastic and duct tape.

Your products are horrible. I don't know how your technical support could get any worse than the products you sell, but you succeeded in doing that. If that was your goal for the fiscal year, congratulations!

Your agents, in the 30 times that I have called Linksys or used your Live Chat in the past year, has yet to fix any of my problems. Here is usually how my Linksys router or wireless NIC has began working again:

A) It just magically starts working again (yes, this has happened
B) I finally figure out the problem while waiting TWO HOURS to get in contact with your representatives.
C) I'm on the phone with Linksys, and while they're in the process of trying to "fix my router" (by "fix my router," I do mean "screw it up worse"), I say, "I'm going to try this..." They then talk over me, start running me through needless troubleshooting steps that I told them I had already went through before I called them. I do what I suggested I do anyway, and it fixes the problem. Your representatives then claim that what they had me do fixed the problem, when the troubleshooting steps are completely irrelevant to the problem itself.
D) Linksys does succeed in "fixing my router" (once again, I mean "screw it up worse"), I have to go into either Yahoo! Chat or IRC Chat, and have them help me undo what Linksys did, and then fix my original problem. This process takes 30 seconds. I kid you not.

Today, I called, and, frustrated with the way your support agents handles things, immediately ask for a supervisor. I'm in Technical Support. I know you cannot deny a person a supervisor if they ask for one. Guess what? You're geniuses of technical support denied me a supervisor.

I don't know how you train your frontline agents, but if we were to do the things even once that your agents do regularly, we would be fired on the spot. They would take our badges, and walk us straight out of our call center's doors, and we would not be allowed back in.

Unfortunately, that is apparently not the case in India, where it seems that to be in Technical Support, all you have to do is be able to read the word, "The." If you can, you're hired, and get the pleasant opportunity of working for lower-caste slave-wages, and confuse the hell out of us people who are just trying to get our routers fixed and get on with our lives. Unfortunately, that's never possible with you. As 75% of the phone conversations with Linksys have to do with the weather in America. Like whether it's Spring or Summer in America is going to fix my router. If I want to chit-chat with someone, I'll call a friend or 1-900-SPANK-ME.

And then, at the end of call, after you either destroy my router or I fix it behind your backs, your agents have the audacity to actually tell me to spread the word about how good your products is. That'll happen about the time I get in the sack with Elton John. And seeing how I'm not gay, I guess that's not going to happen.

At work, 100% of my calls on Belkin and D-Link routers are for first-time router users that just need their modems bridged and didn't know it. 80% of the time, the reason I transfer them to above companies is because I can't go into those routers myself, because they are out of my support boundaries.

40% of my calls for Linksys routers (which I can do support on), however, are for the above reason. The other 60% are calls where my customer's router has completely had an Attention Deficit Disorder moment and refuses to work anymore. On 100% of those calls, I have to transfer them to Linksys, because I can't get the thing working. Everytime I dial that number, I say a prayer for the customer. Because I know the minefield I'm sending them to. I'm sending them to your Indian douchebags with no concept of anything except for the barometric pressure in Chicago (and why the hell all of your agents have such a hard on for finding out the forecasts in our areas, I have no idea, but every agent I speak to does this to me. For the love of God, look it up on weather.com or something).

So basically, to sum this all up, if I were given the choice between buying another Linksys product, and having my testicles ripped apart by angry sharks, I would ask if there were any other options. If there wasn't, I'd stick my nuts in the ocean, and let Jaws have at it.

Since writing this, I'm completely 100% independent of Linksys products. I run a Netgear router, and a Belkin wireless card, and have much less problems than I did with the Linksys set up.

The Verizon Files: There's No Spelling Letters

A customer calls in asking for their username and password. So i verify the billing address and start telling the username.

Me: "Your user name is as follows: The letter V as in Victor--"
Customer: "Spell that."
Me: "Oy vey. IT'S THE LETTER V! NO SPELLING!"

Later on, they start trying to connect their DSL through DIAL-UP DIALER. Man this is a smart one. So I now I get to hold their hand through setting up their modem.

Me: "Ok, let's type in 192.168.1.1 and then hit enter."
Customer: "Ok."
Me: "What does that bring up?"
Customer: "Nothing."
Me: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It loads a blank page."
Me: "Ok, click on Tools, and then Internet Options."
Customer: "Where is that at?"
Me: "It's at the top of Internet Explorer."
Customer: "I see Tools. But where is Internet Options."
Me: "..................................................................you see that after you click Tools."
Customer: "Ok."
Me: "Are we there now?"
Customer: "Yes."
Me: "Ok. Click on Delete Cookies."
Customer: "Ok."
Me: "Now, we're going to click on Delete Files, and then put a check in the box that says 'Delete all offline content.'"
Customer: "Ok."
Me: "Let me know when that gets done."
Customer: "Ok. Wait."
Me: "Ok."

Two minutes later:

Me: "Has it finished yet?"
Customer: "No."
Me: "Ok, we'll give it some more time then."

One minute later:

Customer: "Ok, it's done."
Me: "Ok, great. Click on the Security tab please."
Customer: "Wait. Damn it, it hasn't even loaded Internet Options yet."
Me: "You suck at life. I'm transferring you to Microsoft."
Customer: *whimpers* "....Ok."

There should be a noose included in our installation kits for times like these.

The Verizon Files: I retract the statement in the last one

The "Heavy and Sticky" call was not the first special call I got. I had completely forgotten about this one.

This was the second call I got ever. The lady was trying to set up her DSL. So I start going down my troubleshooting steps:

Me: Ok, what kind of DSL modem did we send you?
Customer: I don't know.
Me: Can you find out for me?
Customer: I can't.
Me: Why not?
Customer: It's not here.
Me: What do you mean, "It's not here?" (Thinking she meant her installation kit hadn't arrived yet)
Customer: I mean, I don't have it with me.
Me: Where are you ma'am?
Customer: New York City.

*looks up the billing address*

Me: Ma'am, my records indicate your DSL service is set up in Philadelphia.
Customer: That's correct.
Me: Why don't you call back when you're in Philadelphia and you have everything in front of you?
Customer: Good idea.
Me: Yeah. I thought so too.

The Verizon Files: Heavy and Sticky

**The following is actual events. Nothing here is made up.**

I haven't had too much to write about on here, so I figured I would start posting some old stories I have. This line of stories is what I call, "The Verizon Files."

In February of 2006, I gave up the dream of TP/MM (Turning Pro/Making Millions, for the non-poker players out there), and got a job at a call center doing technical support for Verizon DSL.

During the three weeks of training, our trainer continually said, "You will get some weird calls on the floor. I'm trying to prepare you for this." I think most of us shrugged it off.

Until we got out of training, and on the floor.

We started off our first week in Training Bay, also known as The Tank. This is where we take actual calls. The only calls we got in Tank were installation calls. So pretty much redundant stuff at this point.

My entire first two days of Tank were uneventful. I had absolutely no problems whatsoever with my calls.

On my last call of the third day, the crap hit the fan. I need to reiterate this fact before we begin: We have mute buttons on our headsets. This comes into play many, many, many times.

I get a call from a Spanish woman, who, naturally, wants to install her DSL. Verizon does have a Spanish support line, but at 5:30PM, the line shuts down (for siesta, one would assume). After 5:30, all Spanish calls get sent to English support. This is where Zanax becomes your best friend.

Let me explain the first step of installation to you. There are gray boxes in the installation kit called filters. These filters look like phone jacks that plug into your existing phone jacks. What you do, is you plug the filters into all of your phone jacks except the one that you will plug your DSL modem into.

Well, this lady had plugged one into the jack the modem will be going into, thus causing her not to get a DSL signal. I kindly ask her to remove it, and she obliges...kind of.

I hear her grunting and groaning in the background. Geez, is it really that hard to get it out. She's really heaving at this. By now, I'm wondering if I should call 911, when all of a sudden, I hear her say into the phone, "I can't."

"You can't?"

"No, I can't."

"Why not?"

"The filters...they're heavy...and sticky!"

...By now I'm stifling laughter. Surely I completely misheard her. Surely to God she did not say what I think she did.

"I'm sorry...what was that?"

"The filters are heavy and sticky!"

"Please hold ma'am...*mute*"

Now I am on the ground laughing my head off, mainly because of what was running through my head when she said that. I'm sure the exact same thoughts were running through your mind:

"...Just what exactly was she doing with those filters?"

By now, everyone in Tank is now looking at me, and trying to get me to tell them what's going on.

I finally got out exactly what she said, and the entire Tank erupts in laughter, all except one guy, who was bold enough to say exactly what was on my mind:

"...Just what exactly was she doing with those filters?"

We never got an answer to that question, because I suddenly hear her in the background saying, "Hello, is there anyone there who speaks Spanish? Spanish?"

I had no clue at this time that Spanish support shut down at 5:30.

"Spanish support? No problem ma'am, I'll connect you."

I hope the next ENGLISH representative she got had as much fun with that as I did.

Paying a traffic ticket: 147 style

As many may remember, in May I got a BS Traffic Ticket. I fought this all the way through court, but the cop literally lied about the entire situation, I told my side of the story, and, the court ruled against me. I had to pay my $150 traffic ticket from running a yellow light.

Naturally, I wasn't happy. Nay, I was pissed. I've been putting this off all month (my court date was Sept. 26th). Today, I had to go do it, because I wouldn't have time to any other day.

I went to the ATM machine, and got out the $150 to pay the ticket. I was about to head to the courthouse when I saw an Italian restaurant across the street from my bank, and realized I was hungry. So I stop in for some crappy chicken alfredo and a Pepsi.

While I was there, I began thinking. Naturally, I'm going to hate walking in there and paying the ticket. I then decided that I could either go in there with a sour look on my face and pay the thing, or I can go in there with a smile on my face, pay the thing, get a little vindication and stress relief, no matter how miniscule, and leave laughing my rear end off. That's when it hit me.

After I polished off the chicken alfredo, I went back across the street to my bank with my 7 $20 bills and 1 $10 bill, and walked into the office. Yes, I think you're catching on.

Teller: "How may I help you today?"
Hanguk: "I have $150 here. Can you exchange these big bills for $1 bills?"
Teller: "....sure."

She comes back 3 minutes later with 3 $50 wraps of singles. I head out of there, get into my car, unwrap the singles, and stick the entire wad into my pocket. NOW I'm on my way to the courthouse.

I get up to the clerks office, who takes my case number, then tells me that the cost is $150.

Hanguk: "No problem." *Slam wad of singles onto the counter*
Clerk: "............................................... *look of shock and despair on her face* WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!"

On the fly, I make up this BS story about how my band played a benefit concert to pay off my ticket at a cost of $3 per person, and we got enough to pay it off.

She then asks why I didn't exchange it at the bank.

...Well, who wants to take a big wad of cash to a bank, where those nasty robbers would be standing outside to take that wad? I figure a courthouse is MUCH safer.

She's still got that "OMGWTFBBQBARBARASTREISAND!!!1111oneoneniner!" look on her face, as she starts trying to count this wad of money. I think she forgot how, because she started counting, then started over, then started over, THEN CALLS FOR ANOTHER CLERK IN A DIFFERENT OFFICE TO COME OVER TO HELP.

While the other clerk is on her way there, she says, and I quote: "Unbelievable. I had JUST went to the bank to get $1 bills." By this point, I am now trying to hold back my laughter, because this is just too much.

The second clerk walks over, sees the wad of ones, and gets the same "OMGWTFBBQBARBARASTREISAND!!!1111oneoneniner!" look on her face, which worsens as she's told the story. They then start counting this wad of cash, and I'm dead serious, neither one of them can get over the fact that I'm paying a $150 traffic ticket in nothing but singles. They finally get up to about $50 and say, "I think we're going to come up with one-fifty," prints off my receipt, and tells me to go home and have a nice day.

That I will. It's been about 20 minutes now, and I bet they're still counting it.

Pwned? Yeah, I think so.

Reckless Abandon

Song I wrote in February.  It rings especially true over this last week or so:

(Verse 1)
I've listened to you enough
Now it's your turn not to speak
I've heard everything you have to say
Around this time last week
I'm sick of every statement
That will come through your mouth
I could say some unnecessary things
But we won't go that route
I just feel it's high time
That what I feel is said
Before I start becoming
Even more messed up in the head
So I'll pour every ounce of hate
Into every word I say
Just so you might get an idea
Of exactly how I feel today
And hopefully to God
This gets through your thick skull
So I can start to move
And make all of these thoughts null

(Chorus)
I don't need your empty promises
Or your heavy handed words
I don't need your selfishness
Or your fakey fake love
I don't need your excuses
When you fall off the wagon
All I need is to put you behind me
With reckless abandon

(Verse 2)
I don't need any more reasons
To cast you aside
Because I have my reasons
To move on with my life
And this life I talk about
Is one without you in it
Just to clarify
That means we're through, we're finished
I know I can forgive
But I sure can't forget
So I'll forgive, but never give you a chance
To make my time with you my regret
And this solution isn't temporary
It's every part of permanent
So look at me one last time
And always remember this

Repeat (Chorus)

(Bridge)
I don't want to remember you
Just go away
And maybe I won't have to
It's time to push you away
I don't need to be near you
You're no good for me
And I'm glad that you
Will no longer be a part of me

Repeat (Chorus)

Me = Unstoppable

I haven't had the sinister urge to burn my time playing non-stop poker this week. I didn't play at all Tuesday or Wednesday, I was too mopey Tuesday, and Wednesday, I felt like I got ran over. Today, I didn't feel all too well either, but I decided to play. I also played Monday, let's go ahead and start with Monday:

Monday: I played my usual Razz tournament, which got bumped from a $11 buy-in to a $22 buy-in, with the time now being pushed back an extra 15 minutes. Weird. I had a great table draw full of idiots who had no idea how to play Razz, and couldn't get the cards to take advantage of it. Out before first break.

Undeterred, I took a shower and signed up for the $5.50 HORSE tournament. Final tabled that, and finished in 3rd for $67.

I then played the $26 $20,000 Guarantee, and was out in the first hour of that.

I then played 1-2 Razz cash games, and only wound up profiting a nickel. Wheee.

Today: I started off in 2-4 Razz, and wound up playing a short session, profiting $30. I then played the $5.50 HORSE tourney again, and final tabled that again. AGAIN, I get 3rd, this time for about $78. I then played the $26 $2,000 Guarantee Razz tournament, and final tabled that. On top of that, it started before I even cashed in the HORSE tournament, so here's me trying not to fry my brain playing Stud High in HORSE, and Razz in...Razz. I did a decent job of that, but ran completely card dead at the start of the Razz tournament. Four handed in the HORSE tournament, I tripled up in the Razz tournament.

After I busted in HORSE, my focus went on the Razz tourney, all the while, I haven't peed in over two hours, and my bladder is full. So, I keep battling with my full bladder, and final table YET AGAIN! I played incredible, but lost heads up to the poker equivalent of Screech from Saved by the Bell, and netted $450 in that. For a grand total of being up over $500 today.

Does anyone wanna mess with me? I don't think so!

The Grey Room

Here's what happened to me recently, the title will make sense in a minute:

I have been doing really good in poker lately.  However, life keeps throwing me curve
after curve, none of which I can handle right now.  For instance, my mom pretty much just
disowned me this week, telling me that her relationship with her new husband, who I
refuse to grace with the title of "Stepdad," is worth enough to pretty much destroy her
relationship with me, which has been around, oh, 22 years longer.  She's called me an
embarrassment, and when told that I wanted to go back and finish college, told me I failed
previously, and I will fail now too.  And that because I was such a failure, no school would
accept me, and I would be able to get no scholarships or grants.   How's that for encouragement?

On top of that, I now have a contusion on my right tendon that I have a hard time putting
weight on my right leg at all, which is compounded by the fact that I STILL have to go to work,
and now, contend with customers calling me gimp and cripple at work.

Last Thursday, I almost committed suicide.  It took a collection of 11 friends to talk me out of it.

Things have been starting to look up.  I started on my way up to being more optimistic Saturday on, but, unfortunately, come Tuesday, that hit a wall.  During a slow moment at work, just when I thought I was starting to put things behind me, everything started showing up in my mind, and just hammering.  When I finally got back to the break room, I had my head in my arms, crying.  It's just been that hard.  They sent me home after break.

I got home, ate, and took a nap.  I then had this dream:

It's pretty much an absolute of what's been going on in my life this last week or so.  Everyone's looking down on me, and I just keep getting hammered from every angle.  I found a college that would accept me, but I didn't have enough funds to pay my way through, and couldn't find grants or scholarships to get me through.  Also throw into the mix that I was running bad in poker, with everything else going on, and I just couldn't do it anymore.  I had made up my mind, 100%.  I was going to put a bullet in my head.

I wound up in this grey room.  The floor and the ceiling were both grey.  The walls, I couldn't see, because it was dimly lit in the room, with only a small light hanging from a wire from the center of the room.  The light coming from this bulb formed a perfect circle, and within this circle of light, was a circle of boxes, one of which I knew for certain held a gun.  And that's exactly what I wanted.  I wanted to end this pain.

I got down on my knees, and started looking through these boxes, about 20 or 30 boxes in this circle, trying to find the gun.  But every box I opened had pieces of paper in the tops of them.  I wound up pulling one out, and reading it.  It was a message of encouragement for me.  But then I looked at the box again.  This note of encouragement concealed a box full of hundred dollar bills.  I can't count how many were in this box.  I kept opening boxes, and reading the notes, some from people I know, and pictured as I was reading each note, thinking, "Wow.  They actually do care?!  I thought they could've cared less;" some came from people I don't know.  Some boxes didn't contain money, but all contained words of encouragement for me.

As I kept opening these boxes, the light in the room started to grow brighter and brighter, meanwhile, I'm reading these notes and counting the money, and figuring I almost have enough money for my first semester back to school.  Then my alarm goes off, and I awake from the dream.

I know a lot of people that know me wouldn't be able to guess it by the way I've acted lately, but I used to be very religious.  I fell away from God and anything even keeping me grounded 2 years ago.  I've been off and on since, but since this last week hammered me, I've been trying to get back to where to Jesus at the core of it all.  Granted, it's an uphill battle, one compounded by my current situation, but one that I'm optimistic will finally start to bring me back to what I really need.  Call it fanatical, call it stupid, call it blind, and you may be right.  But it brings me joy.  Even through all this, I'm starting to see the joy again.  And that's good enough.

But even still, this whole situation will not stop rearing my ugly head.  And as much as I tell myself I'm not worthless, and I'm not a failure, and that God has a purpose for me, when your own mother speaks stuff like that over you, it hurts you so deep you can't even begin to rebound.  I didn't come home thinking about suicide, the thought never crossed my mind.  But as much as I knew things were going to look up soon, it still looks dim from here.

That dream, I believe, was a sign from God, that tells me, "It's dim, but not hopeless.  People still care, and people still believe you are going to succeed.  Do not give up, because your prayers will be answered, your needs will be met, and your life will get better."

And I'm not giving up.  Not now.

My lyrics game - Answers

Come on you guys.  You disgraced me!  No one responded.

I'm guess I'm not cool enough.  I feel emo, I'm going to go cut myself.

But before I do that, here are the answers:

1. "Sincerely, Ichabod" by Project 86

2. "Monday in Vegas" by Lucerin Blue

3. "Threshold" by Stavesacre

4. "A Thought Crushed My Mind" by Blindside

5. "My December" by Linkin Park

6. "Do Not" by John Reuben

7.  "Seeing Red" by Unwritten Law

8. "Privelege" by Incubus

9. "Combat Chuck" by Five Iron Frenzy

10. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana

11. "Blind" by Korn

12. "Adam's Song" by Blink-182

13. "Intergalactic" by Beastie Boys

14. "Draw the Line" by P.O.D.

15. "Downfall" by TRUSTcompany

16. "Everything Changes" by Staind

17. "Back in Black" by AC/DC

18. "These Days" by Alien Ant Farm

19. "Kenji" by Fort Minor

20. "Bounce Back" by Stacie Orrico

21. "Going Under" by Evanescence

22. "Rearranged" by Limp Bizkit

23. "Neither Rain, Nor Sleet" by Right-Hand Man

24. "Awake" by Godsmack

25. "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer

By the way, I'm not going to go cut myself.  I'm just going to go enjoy the X-Box 360 I bought for the winner AND the cookie I bought for them too. MMMMMMMM...Chocolate Chip...