The rest of yesterday.

So shortly after I posted my previous entry, lunch time came. Which was good, I was quite hungry.

I came down to eat, to find this:

This literally says, "Welcome, brother Corey." I was taken aback. I feel so at home here, and they have strived to make every effort to make me feel welcome.

And here is lunch:

We had rice, seaweed, potatoes, chicken, and some kind of soup. All of it spicy, all of it delicious. Anyone worried about me eating here should just stop. I'll probably leave here 20 pounds heavier.

After lunch, I had about 50 minutes to prepare for class. I wasn't sure about what would happen that day, whether they would expect me to jump in that day or not. Turns out they did, and I came to work. I was exhausted, but it was almost expected I figure out what to do with my class period. And in a matter of 40 minutes.

Of course, I had no clue where to start. I had no clue of the proficiency level of any of my students, and hadn't even really met them yet. So I figured, what better way to start than to gauge their levels of language proficiency?

And that's exactly what I did. It's a very small class, only 5 students, myself, and Joseph to help me explain more complex sentences.

When I started with figuring out where they were in English studies, I wasn't sure what to expect. Would they know nothing or have a strong foundation to build off of? I asked what they knew and what they wanted to learn. They (especially the girls, of which are the majority) were very timid at first. However, that quickly changed.

They all mirrored the same sentiments when I asked those questions: They have been learning basic grammar and vocabulary, but want to learn how to speak and listen well. That's when I decided to really dig in and see where we stood in terms of English skills, and precisely what nuances I needed to hit on. And at this point, I really thanked God that I had been studying Korean, because I felt like, more than even conversations and getting by over here, my Korean came into play perfectly for this scenario.

I began writing Korean phrases (nothing complex) on the chalkboard, and asked them to translate it into English for me. Nothing too complex. Things that you would pretty much teach in any ESL class within probably week one or two. I started with "My name is..." and they quickly got it. I began really challenging them, with past tense words, future tense words. This was where they started to struggle. However, they were getting the basic understanding of the sentence. Joseph asked me to quote a verse from the Bible in Korean, and see if they could translate it. I started with the literal beginning, and put up Genesis 1:1. This was really when they stepped it up, and the one guy in the class, who gave me his English name, David, translated it nearly perfectly, only saying "the world" instead of "the heavens and the earth," at the end. To his defense though, that is pretty much how it translates into Korean to begin with, so I had to take that answer.

What started out as a really timid group of students turned excited in no time flat during this exercise. The girls were really excited, as was David, and I was just as excited. They struggle with sentence structure, tenses, and spelling. Plus, as I do with Korean, their vocabulary range is limited. But, what I saw wasn't just what they didn't know, but I saw what they did know, and their desire to learn more, and their excitement to learn. You just don't see that often. Not a single one of them seemed bored. On top of that, as I spoke, the girls frequently tried to mimic what I said. That's when I realized how quickly they're absorbing English, and trying to apply it and learn proper pronunciation. Absolutely amazing.

Today, my intentions are to go through a listening exercise. I remember when I took Spanish in High School, my first class period in that class consisted of a listening exercise, and that laid the groundwork for the entire class. Proper listening comprehension, in my opinion, is crucial. If you can get them to start hearing the individual words and not just "blah blah blah," then their confidence takes a huge leap in the right direction.

What I intend on doing is giving out a list of basic commands. This was how it was done in my class so many years ago. I remember at first, being completely flabbergasted and overwhelmed by hearing these commands. Once we started to understand them, then yes, it does provide confidence. These commands won't be difficult. Things like, "Open the door/Turn off the lights/Stand up/Pick up a pen/Touch your nose/Look at the window" will be used. Of course, we can't really help them in this. They can get help amongst themselves, but myself and Joseph need to be conscientious observers in this matter, while I continue to make the commands. I'm expecting some initial bewilderment, but that they will catch on.

So, last night, I went to Myeongdong to meet Yoonmi. We decided to eat Indian curry last night. It was my first time with the cuisine, and after doing so, I knew it wouldn't be the last. Just amazing food, I've missed out.

I also gave her some gifts. I of course, wanted to bless her. My mom also sent her a gift. She was pleased with all of it!

We had to call it an early night, and parted ways around 10-10:30. I was so jetlagged still. By around 3PM, I hit a wall where I felt like a zombie. I took a 45 minute nap, and felt a little recharged. However, by the time Yoonmi and I were about to split up to head home, I was completely drained again, to the point where I almost fell asleep on the train STANDING UP. Yeah, that's when you know you're zonked. Fell asleep about 11:30, and woke up at 6:30. Not bad. I'm feeling quite well today. Went out to buy some new ink pens (lost mine), and got a nice walk out of it. Sushi rolls and rice dumplings for breakfast this morning. Not a bad way to start off the day. Then to top it off, the faculty at Durihana has a daily prayer meeting and Bible study. They want me to jump in with them. Today we read 1 John 4 (That's bringing back some memories, Mike). I also learned that they have a memory verse every week. On Friday, they check it, and if you haven't memorized it, you pay 1000won for missing it. I'm exempt this week, but I have to be on my heels next week. I don't want to lose my moneys!

This is going to be a great month. More to come.

Day 1 in Korea

Well, I'm finally here.

First of all, I want to thank everyone who donated to help me reach Korea. You guys are just as instrumental in what's about to happen as I am for actually going. Without you, there's no way I could've even made it here. So thank you, and God's going to bless you for helping make this a reality.

So, let's start off with discussing my trip over here. Honestly, it was pretty good, with only a couple of snags. First of all, I can't go anywhere without forgetting somewhere, that's becoming ever so clear. I left a bottle of shampoo and a bottle of body wash sitting at my mom's house. These were my big bottles, so all I have is enough of each to last me a week now. So, I have to go buy some later, and if I can't find any that are comparable to mine (and I need something antibacterial in the body wash department), I'll have to ask mom to mail it to me. I don't think that will be a problem.

The flights went well though. My flight to Detroit was smooth sailing. I always flip out about those puddle jumpers, but this was a non-issue. Honestly, I was almost asleep on that flight before we even took off. I actually had to fight to stay awake.

They overbooked my flight to Tokyo, which still wasn't a concern for me, since I already checked in. However, we were 40 minutes late in pulling away from the gate, because they were still loading cargo to the plane. We were consequently an hour late taking off. I had a fit of impatience sitting in my seat, especially when they told us to turn off our electronic devices well before the flight took off. So all I could do was sit there in silence, which was frustrating.

On top of that, I started to worry. My connection was rather tight in Tokyo last time, and this was the exact same itinerary. Was I going to make it in time if we were an hour late getting to Tokyo? Especially when it took around 20-30 minutes to taxi to our arrival gate last year. So yeah, I was concerned.

Shortly after takeoff, however, the captain informed us we were still due to arrive on time to Tokyo. I breathed a little easier, but still in the back of my mind, I had that worry. I ate well, there was shrimp with pretty much every meal I ate on that flight. Not that I'm complaining about that (anyone who knows me would know that's the exact opposite of what I'm doing).

I was also able to sleep for four hours on this flight. This is a big step. I was quite relaxed. Last year, I was scared to death to fly period, let alone overseas. This time, it was just a matter of, "Meh...this is all routine." Not even turbulence got me perturbed.

True to his word, we arrived in Tokyo right on time. On top of that, our arrival gate was very close to the runway, so it was a very short taxi this time. Regardless, I took off in a semi-Home Alone-esque sprint to the security gate, not wanting to take any chances. I got through really quickly, and found my gate really fast. I mean, to leave an hour late, and still get there on time? And to find my gate with an hour to spare? That's a God thing, clearly.

The only problem with the flight was the landing. It was one of the roughest landings I've experienced. And when I say that, I mean, the plane bowed pretty heavily, to the point where I was slightly concerned that it might hit a wing on the ground, and send us flipping over. However, that didn't happen, obviously, or you would've heard about it on CNN by now.

I had a snack on my flight to Seoul (Egg Salad and Tuna Salad sandwiches), and we arrived early to Korea. And then I was pretty much instantly comfortable and excited. Got through immigration and customs really quick. Found Yoonmi. She didn't stay long, but brought my new camera, and said how happy she was to see me, and then found my contacts at Durihana.

One of which was a North Korean. He was our driver. I also met Joseph, who was the person I had been e-mailing recently. It was quite awesome to meet these people. I was so excited.

When I got there, they wanted to bless me with food. I honestly wasn't hungry, and was ok, but they insisted...and took me to McDonald's. Considering how excited I was the last day at McDonald's (where I work), and almost kissed the ground when I walked out on Friday, I found this quite ironic. But it was such an awesome time. We talked on the way to Durihana.

Gwangjin (the North Korean), come to find out, is a drummer. He found out I play bass, and already wants to jam. This is quite an appealing offer for me. Been a while since I jammed with anyone.

They set me up in my dorm room (which is a single bed room), and let me get situated and sleep.

This morning I woke up, and took care of everything regarding my SD Card (reformatting it for my new camera), and checked Facebook. I then went downstairs to find Joseph, and to find a towel to take a shower. I was still in my pajamas. The instant he saw me, Gwangjin immediately motioned for me to come into the office area, and immediately introduced me to Chun Ki-won, the pastor of Durihana.

If you don't know much about the North Korean refugee crisis, Pastor Chun is super important. As in, he is one of the heads of the underground railroad responsible for getting the refugees out of China. He travels the world over talking about this crisis and getting aid from people to make this possible. So to say he is important is an understatement. Without him, this system would probably crumble.

And here I am in my pajamas, meeting with him. He's wearing all but the suit coat of his three piece suit. And I'm in my pajamas. I think he was underdressed. *sarcasm*

He was incredibly kind. He already had a breakfast of pastries and breads laid out for me, and also supplied me with milk and coffee to compliment it. It was wonderful. We talked some, and I think this will be a wonderful month.

He introduced me to some of the staff, whom are very kind. Right now, they gave me a desk (letting me borrow Gwangjin's while he's away), and I'm just waiting to see what's up. I'm thinking they might let me hold off on starting until tomorrow until I'm fully situated and overcome my jet lag. I may head out to E-Mart soon to get what I forgot at home. I also need to head to Yongsan later. Tonight, I'll be eating Indian food with Yoonmi, and grabbing some dress shoes for this weekend.

All is well in the Eastern front though, guys. Praise God. I haven't had many opportunities to snap pictures. I snapped one at the airport, which I'll put up here. I have snapped some of the Durihana complex right now, but my camera is upstairs. I'll post them later.

http://min.us/m4Z6ZuvfeiW31

This was from my church bulletin Sunday. Not that I like boasting about it, just that it is a nice reminder that my church is praying for me, and the rest of the people in the mission field this summer.

http://min.us/mVumKrcY2oECl

And here's a sign on the way to border control. I was so excited.

Some messages to specific people:

Carmen: Yes my shoes were tied! In fact, I reached an escalator in Incheon airport, and saw my shoes came untied, and STOPPED TO TIE THEM! You should be insatiably pleased with that.

Tina: No kimchi yet, but trust me, I'll try to eat some this time around. I did have a bulgogi burger at McDonald's last night though.

And to everyone else: Thank you! 감사합니다!

Keep an eye on here and my Facebook for more!

Are We Truly Free?

I ask the preceeding knowing full well that I am about to state an unpopular opinion. I also state this hoping that you will pray that I will not end up on Homeland Security's terror watch list as I post this. I don't want to have to deal with that kind of screening at the airports on my mission trip, and any other subsequent flights I need to take.

NOTE: If you were at class on Tuesday, this was the chapel that I was going to present before the Spirit changed direction. I was already preparing to post this sermon to elaborate further, as I was unsure of whether I could fully articulate what I was going to speak on in the time allotted.

We, as Americans take great pride in our Constitutional freedoms. But does this truly grant us freedom?

“It’s a free country.” This is often spoken. Usually, this is in defense of whatever vice someone has. This has also been, ironically, referenced by certain atheists in this nation to try to silence public professions of faith, feeling that it violates their rights to not believe.

Our own personal constitutional freedom conflicts with our spiritual, God-given freedoms. While I do not oppose our constitutional freedom, because it has afforded us the right to choose what we believe for ourselves, and to speak for ourselves, it is a double-edged sword. While it can bring us closer to God because of the fact that we choose to believe in him for ourselves, it can also cause us to drift further away from God on the basis of absolute freedom. That is, we often turn to other things before we turn to God.

Even when we come to Christ, so often these things continue to pull us away from God. Sure, we still believe. Sure, we know our sins our forgiven. But we just simply do not walk in the power and authority that Christ has called us to, because we have not fully relinquished control of our own lives fully. Because we are free to do what we please, according to our "certain inalienable rights" granted to us by our Constitution, we often overwork ourselves, become addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, pornography, hobbies, collections, and other things that pull our attention away from God, because we have that choice available to us. But why?

In a survey, it was found that only 37% of Americans read the Bible at least once a week, despite 92% of all Americans owning on average three copies of the Bible. On average, Americans read that read their Bibles read them for 52 minutes per week. That averages out to less than 8 minutes daily! And the vast majority of those minutes are spent in perfunctory readings at church.

Let's compare this to China, a nation in which religion is restricted under communist rule. While there are state-controlled Christian bodies within China, they are tightly-controlled and restricted by the Chinese government. Yet the house churches in China spend arguably in prayer and worship than anywhere else.

In other restricted countries, where owning even a Bible is illegal, you will often hear stories of single PAGES from Bibles being distributed among the people. These people will pore over these pages, and memorize the scripture on the page. They know the next page they see may not be there for a while. These places may have the same vices, and more, than we have here. Yet they choose to devote themselves to prayer and reading the Bible.

Let's not forget the Church reformation, where the Catholic church controlled religion. People died to bring freedom of worship and the ability to choose to believe in God and to read His word for ourselves to the masses. And now that we have these freedoms, we take them for granted.

Am I advocating state-run churchs dictatorships? No. Church-run states tend to stagnate churches as well. The Roman Catholic church ran pretty-much all forms of government for centuries. These centuries have been referred to as the dark ages, as this was where the church stagnated. Let’s also not forget that the British control of church is why America was established in the first place.

And while I also don't advocate dictatorships, sometimes I wonder if that is what it will take to send a wake-up call to the American church. In fact, there are times when I straddle the fence between praying for oppression in America, knowing from the models of North Korea, China, and Africa, that this can bring true spiritual revival to the USA, and praying for God to open the eyes of the church peacefully.

Our founding fathers understood this. They not only understood our constitutional rights, but our God-given rights, and our role in using our Constitutional rights to mirror our God-given rights. Over time, the government lost sight of this, and now we, as people, often use our God-given rights to mirror our Constitutional rights.

I am of the belief that our constitutional freedom could be our own worst spiritual enemy. When we exercise these freedoms, we often take it for granted, and use it not to our benefit, but downfall.

Moreover, this type of constitutional freedom and acceptance of Christianity robs us of blessings.

Mark 13:8 “And you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.”

In America, this doesn’t happen. There may be exceptions, but overall, this isn’t the case. This would explain why churches in persecuted countries are more blessed and anointed than churches here, and why they see more signs and wonders than we do.

The New Testament church saw this persecution daily. They were arrested, beaten, killed, forced to flee Jerusalem. And as a result, the church flourished and multiplied exponentially. Our churches have stagnated under no persecution.

Even the South Korean church is generally more blessed than America, with the threat of communism and war sitting just an hour’s drive north of their capital. Even still, their own freedom allows for the same stagnation as the American church. Dare I not mention the thriving North Korean underground church. I had no clue that it even existed, until I was in Seoul last year. This was discussed in great detail on my way back to Church from lunch for the 3rd (Yes, you read correctly, 3rd) service of the day.

9/11 caused a glimpse of what a persecuted American church would look like. But after the immediate threat ceased, people went back to business as usual.

We acknowledge our freedom, but neglect our spiritual freedom. We act on what we can do under the Constitution, federal, and state laws, but don’t act on what God’s freedom implies.

Freedom from God implies:
--Freedom from the penalty of our sin
--Freedom to worship in Spirit & Truth
--Freedom of access to God
--Freedom to live in the likeness of God
--Freedom to speak the Word of God, so that others may believe

We often neglect these Freedoms to fight for “righteous causes.” We are often so blindsided fighting for these causes, that our own spiritual lives falter. Meanwhile, we are still losing these battles. The fact is that a secular government (which is what our government is now) will only stand in the way of abortion rights and homosexual rights for so long, until the moral bankruptcy of the government peaks to the point that these rights will be passed.

Note that I am not advocating a que sera sera stance, nor am I pro-choice, or pro-gay marriage. We should stand up for what is ethically and Biblically right. We should be the voice amidst the morally bankrupt calling for a just nation. America is a strong nation, one that the rest of the world looks up to. And we, as a nation, could be a light to the rest of the world. However, having going so far astray from Biblical principles, can we right the ship now?

We should look at ancient Israel as an example. After Solomon, there was corruption in the nation, causing the rift between Israel and Judah. They continued in corruption, but would eventually see good kings who would transform their respective kingdoms into ones who feared God. However, these would only last for so long before corruption prevailed again, and eventually both kingdoms were overthrown by their adversaries.

So we can right this ship. That is a possibility. We need to pray for it continually as Christians. However, we need to understand the inevitability of these rights passing at the end of the age. We have been told that the world will be at its most corrupt point when the end times begin, as foretold by John, Daniel, and several others. Considering we are only seeing the birthpains as told by Jesus in Matthew, we aren't there yet. And I cannot fathom the moral bankruptcy that will occur at the end of the age if this isn't it.

Instead of focusing on our constitutional rights, we need to be focusing on our God given rights, different from anything a human-instituted government can provide. If we are able to do this, then whether we face immediate persecution or not, we will be prepared for persecution. If we are able to exercise this daily, then we will see the church grow.

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Like what you read? Please, if you can, and God lays it on your heart, donate. As I have mentioned before, I am raising funds for a mission trip to South Korea to work with North Korean refugees, and could certainly use any help I can get financially. As an update (Please note that my Chipin widget does not reflect the full $2500 at this point, or the amount given. It only covers contributors that have donated online, so the rest of my donations have been received offline), I am currently sitting at $1485 donated (including what I am saving for this trip myself, minus, of course, what I'm saving for paying my living expenses Stateside while I'm off work for the month--that I have not included in the amount needed)! This up over $1000 from the $410 that I started Sunday afternoon at. God is faithful, my provider, and works mightily. As such, I will be faithful with what is given to me for this trip, and God will work mightily through me in Korea this summer.

Updates on my mission funds + more!

My current fundraising has reached $410. I should be able, on top of money for rent while I'm away, to save around $600 for this trip. Maybe more or less, but my conservative estimate is $600.

That would bring my fundraising to around $1000. So, if 75 people donated $20 each to my trip, then I would undoubtedly be able to go.

When looking at the "I need $2500," I'm sure a lot of people think that what they are able to give wouldn't put a dent in the fundraising. But trust me, every single cent helps.

So I'm asking and hoping and praying, that I could see 75 people pledge $20 to my trip. Trust me, it would not be a wasted effort. Considering I have 481 friends on Facebook currently, I don't think it's an impossibility to see this happen.

Even if your finances only allow you to give less than that $20, I wouldn't discourage your giving. Remember:

Jesus looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the offering box, and he saw a poor widow put in two small copper coins. And he said "Truly, I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all of them. For they all contributed out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."

Now, I'm obviously not telling you to give your last cent to my trip. But Jesus made it clear, that what you give will be blessed. So, think about what you can give to my trip.

==============================

On a completely unrelated note, I will be updating this blog with more writings. I have neglected to make regular posts, but I'm feeling the fire to write again. I'm working on my Chapel for class, and I feel like I will need to expound on that through here. So look forward to it.

My upcoming mission trip opportunity

I just recently got accepted to a mission program for this summer! This is something that I've been waiting on for years. I first received my call to missions at the age of 7 at Ridgway First Baptist Church during VBS, but it has taken me so many years to finally see God begin to make this vision realized. Really excited about it, praying it will finally be that break I need. However, it's in Seoul, Korea. And I would be gone for a month. Given my current income and expenses, I cannot make it there on my own.

I've started putting out the call to people to help me out, both with prayer and financially. I'm praying that you can also be able to support me in both areas.

Right now I'm looking at uphill battles with airfare costing an exorbitant amount right now. That is my main concern. Currently, the cheapest I can fly there is around $1800. The program where I will be working says that they will be able to help with housing, so I will not have to pay for any lodging while I'm there.

I will also be responsible for my meals and transportation. I was over there a week last year, and spent around $40-$50 on transportation alone. However, that was with many buses, and mainly doing tourist stuff, and one long trip outside of Seoul, so that could be less weekly than I experienced. I would estimate $20 minimum. So that factors to about $100, or $200 if you take my very liberal first estimate. Food can be expensive over there, but I should honestly be fine with around $500, however, I'm honestly not sure. So all total, I'm needing around $2500 for this trip, and currently only have $250 pledged at this point.

I'm also not even factoring in the $500 I will need for rent on my apartment while I'm away so that I'm not evicted, but I can save that much for at least that. I will be shutting off any utilities I will not need while I'm away, such as cell phone, internet, and etc. to save money.

A little more about the mission I will be doing. I will be working with an organization called Durihana, which is an organization that helps North Korean refugees reach South Korea and obtain refugee status there. Once there, they are helped by the organization to obtain life skills necessary to operate and work in a modern society, and teach them various skills to find work and start a new life in South Korea, as well as teaching them the Gospel. What I will be doing is working with these refugees, teaching them English, teaching them the Gospel, and just reflecting Christ through my service and attitude there.

I will also be looking for various other opportunities to serve once there, but that will be my primary focus while I'm there.

I'm honestly praying that you can find a desire to help me out with this trip, through finances, prayer, advice, and anything else you can give me. How can you help financially? Well, I will be willing to receive cash, check or Paypal, as I am having to book everything on my own. Durihana is taking care of everything once I arrive, but they are not in charge of my fundraising efforts or booking.

So yes, all of the donations will go to me, in which I will use to book and pay for everything on this trip. Anything leftover at the end of trip would be donated to Durihana. If for some reason, I cannot go, all of your donations will be refunded.

You can donate via Paypal via the widget at the top-right side of my blog. This will help me keep track of my funds. If you are viewing this via Facebook, you may visit this link to donate, or you may also, if you cannot get it to load, message me for my Paypal address.

I could also use donated frequent flyer miles if you have them, especially through Delta, as Delta/Korean Air are my cheapest options at this point (and one where I actually already have miles stored). If you have any further questions, please feel free to let me know through here, by sending me messages on Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter, or by catching up with me at church. And also, the organization's website is http://www.durihana.net/, if you would like to know more about them.

Should the Poor Steal to Sustain Their Life? A “Christian” Thought On Theft…

The Reverend Tim Jones from England has stated in a recent sermon that he feels that the poor should steal food from major department store chains if they have no other ethical means of receiving food to sustain their own lives.

'My advice, as a Christian priest, is to shoplift,' he told his stunned congregation at St Lawrence and St Hilda in York.

'I do not offer such advice because I think that stealing is a good thing, or because I think it is harmless, for it is neither.

'I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses, knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices.

’I would ask them not to take any more than they need. I offer the advice with a heavy heart. Let my words not be misrepresented as a simplistic call for people to shoplift.’

My question to Rev. Jones is this: If you have such a “heavy heart” for the poor, then why are you not doing anything meet the need that would cause them to steal in the first place?

So long as the church doors continue to open and close every Sabbath, that church is trusted with a responsibility.  One that, as Jesus put it so well to Peter in John 21:15-17, is to “Feed my sheep” and “tend to my flock.”  That not only applies to preaching to the flock, but literally, feeding them also.  And you know what? It goes beyond that.  Clothing them, sheltering them if need be.  But if you are not doing these things, then you are failing to grasp what Jesus asked of pastors.

Jesus also went on to say, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”  If Jesus commanded us to feed and tend to his flock, and we neglect to do so, simply put, WE DO NOT LOVE HIM!

Jesus went on to even suggest that to not do these things would be reflected as our attitude of what we would do for Jesus.  When we look at what will happen in the end of days, Jesus said the world would be separated into two groups: one who did these things, and one who didn’t.  To the one who did, he says, “Whatever you did unto the least of these, you have done to me.”  That group enters Heaven.  To the one who didn’t, he says “Whatever you didn’t do unto the least of these, neither have you done to me.” And that group enters the into eternal suffering and gnashing of the teeth.

Proverbs also says in 3:27-28 “Don’t withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in the power of your hand to do it.  Don’t say to your neighbor, ‘Go, and come again; tomorrow I will give it to you,’ when you have it by you.”  If your church doors are able to open and shut, you have the means necessary to provide for the poor of your congregation, and those that pass by.

If there was a genuine, heavy, heart in this minister for the poor, that church would have either a food pantry, a soup kitchen, a homeless shelter, or all of the above.  He would not have to tell the poor in his congregation to steal from Wal-Mart & Co. in order to eat, because they would be fed by his church.  And then he would be actually performing his God-ordained service to the world.  But he has failed to realize this.

Beyond this, what he is now preaching as a spiritual right now throws “Sin is sin,” out of the window, and throws sin into a grey area.  It throws it into a bracket where “Sin is sin, unless it’s in this circumstance, or another circumstance.”  So, if we apply his teaching to other areas, murder is sin, unless it’s done against someone who wronged you (despite Jesus telling us to forgive seventy times seven times).  Homosexuality is sin, unless you can’t find someone of the opposite sex to marry and have sex with (despite Leviticus, and Romans chapter 1 both saying that homosexuality is sexual sin, and an abomination of God, and even at a biological standpoint, has no procreatic purpose, only to satiate desires of the flesh).  Lying is wrong, unless your lie makes someone feel good.  Adultery is sin, unless your wife cheated on you first.

So my question is, where does the grey area stop?  The answer is, it should’ve never began.

83 Things

Level 1:
(X) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( )Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Drank Alcohol

SO FAR: 2

Level 2
(X) Are / Been In Love
(X) Been Dumped
() Shoplifted
() Been Fired
(X ) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 5

Level 4
(X) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(X)Skipped School
() Slept With A Co-worker
()Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 7

Level 5
( ) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(X) Been On A Plane
() Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 8

Level 6
(X) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
(X) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook/Myspace
(X) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 11

Level 7
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Loved/Liked Someone Who You Can't Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 15

Level 8
() Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(X) Gone Mudding
() Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 18

Level 9
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 23

Level 10
(X) Watched The Sun Set
(X) Felt An Earthquake
( ) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 25

Level 11
(X) Been Tickled
(X) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(X) Been Cheated On
(X) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 29

Level 12
(X) Won A Contest
(X) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
(X) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 33

Level 13
() Had / Have Braces
(X) Eaten A Whole Pint Of Ice Cream In One Night
( ) Danced In The Moonlight

SO FAR: 34

Level 14
(X) Hated The Way You Look
(X) Witnessed A Crime
() Pole Danced
(X) Questioned Your Heart
() Been Obsessed With Post It Notes

So FAR: 37

Level 15
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
() Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 40

Level 16
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
( ) Recently Colored With Crayons/Colored Pencils/Markers
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 44

Level 17
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls
(X) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
( ) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 47

Level 18
(X) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(X) Watched The Sun Set/Sun Rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
( ) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere

SO FAR: 50

Level 19
( ) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
( ) Been Humped By A Monkey

SO FAR: 52

Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
( ) Jumped Off A Bridge
(X) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 53

Level 22
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/Ice Cube
( ) Kissed A Fish
( ) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 54

Level 23
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(X) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) Talked On The Phone For More Than 4 Hours
(X) Recently Stayed Up For A While Talking To Someone You Care About

SO FAR: 58

Level 24
( ) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had/Been In A Tree House
(X) Been Scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone

SO FAR: 61

Level 25
(X) Believed In Ghosts
( ) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
(X) Gone Streaking
(X) Visited Jail

SO FAR: 64

Level 26
( ) Played Chicken
(X) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(X) Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 67

Level 27
(X) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
( ) Made A Porn Video
(X) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
( ) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 70

Level 28
(X) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(X) Had Someone Moon/Flash You
(X) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
( ) Gone Skinny Dipping
(X) Been Kicked Out Of Your House

SO FAR: 75

Level 29
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
( ) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(X) Had A Cavity
( ) Black-Mailed Someone
(X) Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 78

Level 31
(X) Been Used
() Fell Going Up The Stairs
(X) Licked by A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone
() Licked Someone

SO FAR: 81

Level 32
( ) Been Shot at or Maced
( ) Had Sex In The Rain
( ) Flattened Someones Tires
(X) Rode Your Bike/Driven Your Car Until The Fuel Light Came On
(X) Got Five dollars Or Less Worth Of Fuel

TOTAL: 83

15 Films

Rules: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen movies you've seen that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me because I'm interested in seeing what movies my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks, and tag people in the note -- upper right hand side.)

1. Happy Gilmore
2. Fight Club
3. Flywheel
4. The Mighty
5. Rocky
6. Miracle
7. Can't Hardly Wait
8. Forrest Gump
9. The Mighty Ducks
10. Passion of the Christ
11. Joe Dirt
12. Click
13. Street Fighter (As much as I wish otherwise)
14. UHF
15. Angus

The Fall

Pride goes before the fall

And I know I'm falling

I just hope I'm not falling pridefully

Into the wrong pit

My pitfall is my pride

My humility not so near

Maybe if I fall hard enough

My mistakes will become clear

Maybe I'll stop this insanity

Maybe I'll end these methods of madness

Maybe this fall will change my perspective

And put an end to this sadness

Point of No Return

I'm standing at the edge of the cliff

Looking downward at the unknown

Afraid to take my next step

To jump or stay in this place

To walk away or move forward

Either way, I'm scared to commit

Either way, I'm afraid I am wrong

If I face my fears and jump

Maybe I grow, maybe I change

Maybe my situation will improve

But what if I keep freefalling

Into an abyss without end

If I stay here, I am in familiar territory

It won't change, but it doesn't matter

I won't be comfortable

Nor will I be jumping

At least this is familiar

But if I only could convince myself

As to how overrated familiarity is

I would jump off without hesitation

And remove myself from this struggle

Of hating life

Hating this grind

And hating myself

As well as everyone

And everything around me

And perhaps I would actually grow

Perhaps I would actually change

Perhaps I would finally love myself

Like God says He does

So I can actually love others that way

Instead of spending my life

With a knife behind my back

But it takes more courage

To put the knife down

Than it does to pick it up

The same as it does

To run off this cliff

And not look back

And my problems feel so large

That any forward motion

Seems like wasted effort

But I suppose this jump wouldn't be so valiant

If it wasn't done with all odds against its success

So knowing all of this

Why am I so scared of jumping?

Am I scared I will be alone on the other side?

Am I scared I will do this wrong and fail?

Am I scared things will be the same either way?

Or am I scared there will be no encouragement?

So here I am

Standing on the cliff

Heart ready, but legs unwilling

To take this leap of faith

And see my life make unparalleled changes

The Sitting Duck Fires Back

Where is the target

On my forehead

That you are aiming at

With your epithets

And callous words

I know you don't understand

The pain they inflict

You need a soul for that

And you sold that

For a gram of gank

So now you attack me

Without impunity

And all I can do

Is stand here and take it

While I pray to God

That I still have enough resistance

To not wire your jaw shut

I know it's running thin

And the temptation's running high

But as opposed to you

I know what's right and wrong

So go ahead

And run me into the ground

Or at least attempt to

Since that's what you're good at

But only one of us will be laughing

When you go in the ground

And it certainly won't be you.

A Plea For Help

Why do I set myself to task on anything

When the end result is always the same

When I fall flat on my face again

Whose blame is it but myself

For getting my hopes high

Despite knowing the outcome before I begin

God, I can't keep trying

Without some success

When swimming through the sea of life

You want to have some forward motion

I have none

I feel like I'm treading water

Except I'm so tired

Feeling like I've been swimming for miles

Wishing the current would go ahead and pull me under

But like feces, I always seem to float to the top

God, I can't keep fighting

Unless You give me a puncher's chance

What Do You See?

My father refuses to go to church. Save for a wedding, he will not step foot into a church. He doesn't hate God. He is not the real definition of a Christian. You can see it in what he does.

The problem is the way my dad looks. He has long hair, keeps a scraggly goatee and mustache. He wears an earring. He doesn't wear nice clothes. He honestly can't afford to. He looks like an alcoholic. That's what he is, but recovering. When he talks, he has a speech impediment that causes him to slur his words.

And when he goes to church, people stare. People look at him like they look at bums on the street--with disdain. "What is he doing here?"

He got turned off by the reactions of "Christians" to the way he looks, and the person he is. He decided if that is what Christians act like, he doesn't want to be one.

What's sad is the fact that even if I tell my father that's not the way it is, he won't believe me, because those are the people who fill pews every Sunday. But the sad part is, some people just don't get the Christian life. They think that going to church on Sundays make them sanctified. Some think it's doing nothing but listening to Christian music, reading Christian literature, associating with only Christians, working in a Christian environment, and going to only Christian events. But what did Christ himself have to say on this subject?

There's quite a bit that doesn't correlate when you look at what Christ said and did during his time on earth.

He entered and was passing through Jericho. There was a man named Zacchaeus. He was a chief tax collector, and he was rich.>He was trying to see who Jesus was, and couldn’t because of the crowd, because he was short.He ran on ahead, and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him, for he was to pass that way.When Jesus came to the place, he looked up and saw him, and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for today I must stay at your house.”He hurried, came down, and received him joyfully.When they saw it, they all murmured, saying, “He has gone in to lodge with a man who is a sinner.”

Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, half of my goods I give to the poor. If I have wrongfully exacted anything of anyone, I restore four times as much.”Jesus said to him, “Today, salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham.For the Son of Man came to seek and to save that which was lost." (Luke 19:1-10; WEB Translation)

Does this sound familiar?

After these things he went out, and saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at the tax office, and said to him, “Follow me!”

He left everything, and rose up and followed him.Levi made a great feast for him in his house. There was a great crowd of tax collectors and others who were reclining with them.Their scribes and the Pharisees murmured against his disciples, saying, “Why do you eat and drink with the tax collectors and sinners?”Jesus answered them, “Those who are healthy have no need for a physician, but those who are sick do.I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” (Luke 5:27-31; WEB Translation)

Once again, I'm seeing some difference between what Jesus said and "how a Christian should consort."

"He spoke also this parable to certain people who were convinced of their own righteousness, and who despised all others

“Two men went up into the temple to pray; one was a Pharisee, and the other was a tax collector.The Pharisee stood and prayed to himself like this: ‘God, I thank you, that I am not like the rest of men, extortioners, unrighteous, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.I fast twice a week. I give tithes of all that I get.’But the tax collector, standing far away, wouldn’t even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke 18:9-14; WEB Translation)

To be a Christian is defined as "one who follows Christ." To follow Christ, he has commissioned us to do the things that he did. I don't understand how we went so askew from that definition to believe that we don't have to welcome the sinners, and try to bring them to the grace of Christ Jesus, but somehow, that notion has become embedded in the vast majority of churches in the world today, and is the #1 deal breaker in a sinner's call to repentance. It even trumps the desire to continue in sin.

It is no coincidence that these people end up in a church, because if these types of unruly people end up in a church, God has started to deal with their hearts. How then, can they continue to listen to what God's trying to tell them, when they enter His house of worship, and see people that proclaim to be His people snub their noses at them? If God's servants do that, then clearly God doesn't want them either. I'm not saying that as a truth, but more as what they begin to think after a church service where they feel downcast by everybody in the church.

Moreover, this kind of treatment is also the reason you see people who fall into sin fall further away. They face the shame of having to admit deep wrongdoings in a church where they will be looked down upon for doing so.

Have you forgotten where you came from? Because I know I haven't. I was an unruly teenager. I acted without regard to anything. Even after I became a Christian, I fell away, became a degenerate gambler, and lost all focus on God. But praise God for his mercy, because I might not still be alive had it not been for that.

And yet, because of that mercy, while it does set me apart in the spiritual realm as one whom is on God's side, it does not make me anything different here in the earthly realm. I'm still human. I still have problems. I still have to deal with sin and temptation daily. And whether you would admit it in public yourself, you still do too. And so does everyone else in this world. So how does that make us, as Christians, exempt from trying to show the love of Christ to the people who struggle with it the worst, the ones whose souls hang in the balance between damnation and salvation? Is it because we dress better on Sundays? I just can't understand it.

These people, like my own father, are the people who we need to be showing God's love to. And, believe it or not, we are not showing it by pretending they are not part of their congregation, or waving our hands up and down, and beating our chests, trying to proclaim how righteous we are. We don't do it by singing through worship without messing up, or by showing us how obedient we are by bowing our heads when the pastor prays. We do it by going up to them, shaking their hands, welcoming them to our church, introducing ourselves to them, saying we're happy we're there, and just getting to know them.

How is that so difficult? We, being the social beings we are, can do the same thing readily to other people who look Christian. Yet we can't do that to the people who need it most.

If I could challenge you, the reader, to do one thing on Sunday, it would be to find the person who looks most like a sinner in your church, walk up to them, and thank them for being there, and show them the real love of God. In fact, I pray that you will. It's not just their fate that hangs in the balance.

“But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. Before him all the nations will be gathered, and he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.He will set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left

Then the King will tell those on his right hand, ‘Come, blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;for I was hungry, and you gave me food to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in;naked, and you clothed me; I was sick, and you visited me; I was in prison, and you came to me.'

“Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, and feed you; or thirsty, and give you a drink? When did we see you as a stranger, and take you in; or naked, and clothe you? When did we see you sick, or in prison, and come to you?’

“The King will answer them, ‘Most assuredly I tell you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

Then he will say also to those on the left hand, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire which is prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you didn’t give me food to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me no drink; I was a stranger, and you didn’t take me in; naked, and you didn’t clothe me; sick, and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’

“Then they will also answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and didn’t help you?’

“Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Most assuredly I tell you, inasmuch as you didn’t do it to one of the least of these, you didn’t do it to me.’These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

People keep posting these surveys

And I keep having nothing better to do at the time I see them, but to repost them. So, here it is.

WHAT IF...



I died:→

I kissed you:→

I fell:→

I lived next door to you:→

I showed up at your house unexpectedly:→

I stole something:→

I was murdered:→

I cried:→

I was hospitalized:→



::WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY::



Personality:→

Eyes:→

Hair:→

Family:→

Smile:→





::WOULD YOU::



Keep a secret if i told you one?→

Hold my hand?→

Study with me?→

Cook for me?→

Date me?→



::HAVE YOU EVER::



Lied to make me feel better?→

Wanted to kiss me?→

Wanted to kill me?→

Broke my heart?→

Thought I was unbearably annoying?→

Hated me?→

Wanted to tell me something but didn't?→



::More::

When and how did we meet?→

Describe me in three words:→

What was your first impression of me?→

What do you think of me now?→

What reminds you of me?→

When is the last time you saw me?→

Are you gonna repost this to see what I say?→

16

Ok, so Trish tagged me in this, so as to not disappoint, I decided to go with this myself. You'll only see the people I tagged on my Facebook, but yeah, whatever.


Directions:

Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random
things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end
choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose
them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. I love my family very much. With that said, I have one of the most dysfunctional relationships ever with my Mom and Dad. And sadly, right now, my mom and I are not speaking at all. Strangely enough, my relationship with my extended family is on the regular, pretty good.

2. I have a temper. It used to be really explosive, and would scare even me. I got it from my dad, as I found out firsthand. It has toned down over the years, but I still find myself praying that it gets taken away.

3. I feel called into the mission field, and have, as of late been feeling a call to go into pastoral work eventually. I know I'm not ready for any of the above yet.

4. I, unlike a lot of guys, dream about getting married. I don't want to rush into anything, I want to make sure that I'm with who I'm supposed to be with, as I won't take divorce in as an option. I would like 2 kids, whether it be natural or adoption.

5. All but one of my ex-girlfriends have cheated on me. The last one put a nail in the coffin on dating for quite a while. Maybe I just have bad taste in women? I hope not, because I disagree with pretty much everyone else's taste who tries to hook me up. Actually, in all honesty, a lot of my exes were during times I haven't been living for God, so it's probably that I was looking for the wrong people. I know there's someone out there for me.

6. Despite having many passions, I am rather inconsistent with what I focus on. The only things I have really put full effort in was music and poker.

7. My relationship with God has been streaky, where I will be full-force for a while, lukewarm the next minute, and dry the next. I attribute it to the fact that I have a hard time trusting people because of that backbiting I've experienced, that I take that experience into this relationship. I'm working on correcting this.

8. I have a photographic memory. I can remember the smallest details of something that happened (get this) 21 years ago. My short term memory, however, can be lacking at times.

9. I am one of those techno-geek types. Right now I have sitting in my living room floors various a soldering iron, a bunch of project boxes, and various circuit boards from video game controllers in an attempt to build a joystick for fighting games. I also can read HTML just as good as I can read the actual webpage, and know way too much about computers.

10. Despite having so many hobbies, I have a hard time letting go of stress. I'm trying to learn how though.

11. I'm very social now, but that wasn't always the case. I still have my introverted sides, and probably always will, but I've gotten better over time.

12. I love nature, but prefer to be indoors relaxing over nature hikes and ish like that.

13. I've burned a lot of bridges with friends that I wish I still have. A lot of it was due to my lack of contact with them while I was living in Indianapolis, and I regret that decision to this day.

14. Despite the fact that I now can't stand the game, I don't regret playing poker all the time I did. I was good at it, and it taught me a lot of life lessons that I needed to learn. However, it did wind up grating at my sanity.

15. I watch the same movies over and over again, despite a desire to watch something else. It gets to the point where I memorize the lines of the entire movie. All I need to say is that I can still recite Happy Gilmore, word for word.

16. All but two of my ex-girlfriends have been younger than me. I don't see where age makes that much difference, but I tend to get along better with the younger females I date. I don't know whether that's an exhibition of my immaturity or if it's just that I have more in common with them.

Tagged:
Avi: Yeah, I know you said you may not do this, but I demand it.

Jake: I can only imagine what will be put here.

Autumn: This should be intriguing.

James: This is my brother from another mother pretty much. Scary thing is, ours will read similar. Just you watch.

Harley: Hilarity will ensue.

Lina: I highly doubt she'll actually fill this out, but I can imagine this one also being interesting.

Robbie: This is a great guy who I respect highly, and would like to hear more of what goes on in his mind.

Adrian: If he's still off work, he may just be bored enough to fill this out.

Beka: I know more about the rest of your family than you. Fill this out.

Napa: Once again, hilarity could ensue.

Joey: Fill this out, Mr. Herman demands it.

Dane: Don't know what's going on in your life lately bud. Would like to hear about it.

Christian: Hi.

Wut: This guy is awesome, and his rendition of this will probably read like that of a great testimony.

Venson: Once again, someone I haven't heard from in a while, and would like to hear more from.

Sam: Will probably read something along the lines of "I like stuff" 16 times, but whatever.

So This Is Goodbye

Yay for me forgetting that when I get insomnia, it usually means I have creative material waiting to get out. I forgot what it's like. I could've been asleep earlier had I have remembered:




(Verse 1)
So this is the bridge we burned
Two years ago, two years ago
Lying in ruins, ashes and soot
The only friends it knows, the friends it knows
We tried to rebuild it
As foolish as that sounds
But now I can see
What a waste that was, a waste that was

(Pre-Chorus)
And now I'm standing on the other side
And wondering what might have been
Had I not wasted all my time on you

(Chorus)
So this is goodbye
This is the end of an era
Because what once was
Will never be again
And I can't forget you
But I can forgive you
And I can take what I have learned
With me when I start again

(Verse 2)
And I have been stalling since
Two years ago, two years ago
Wondering if I can leave
What we had behind, we had behind
You know I can't hate you
But now I don't like you
But I know that the feeling's mutual, it's mutual

Repeat (Pre-Chorus)

Repeat (Chorus)

(Bridge)
So know when I'm walking away
I know you're doing the same
And don't start thinking of me
Because I won't be thinking of you

Repeat (Chorus)

Boring Melody

1. Put your iTunes on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?
There Is A Light That Never Goes Dope

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
A Flowery Song

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Belly Of The Whale (ok...my playlist just made me throw up)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Head Over Heels

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Mistakes And Glories

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Hollow Again

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Kings Of Hollywood

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Stall Out

WHAT IS 2+2?
When I See Her Face

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Yes

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Who Am I

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Deathbed

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Schizophreniac (LMAO)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Bleed Season

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Our Little Secret (That's reassuring)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Fading Away

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Wait

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
One Step Closer

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
K Car

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Picture (NO...i don't have kid rock on my computer)

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Ppr:Kut

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Middlename

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Youth Of The Nation (watching emo's...i think this is accurate)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Wherever the Wind Blows

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Forgotten

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
103

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
SOS

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
The Spy Hunter

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
(Unknown)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Boring Melody

Two Blog Posts That Hit Home, Hard

I normally don't do this. I have blogs I frequent posted on the right for specific reasons: So that you can visit other blogs that I find interest in, so that you may also be enlightened by them. Moreover, having them on my panel lets me concentrate on my own writing instead of pointing you to others' writings all the time.

But, I feel like I need to pull the trigger on these two. My good friend James wrote two very relevant blogs that spoke to me in a big way. They aren't new posts by any chance, but just in case anyone has failed to read them, I want to bring these up here.

http://jamesintheuk.blogspot.com/2008/04/pursuit-of-happyness.html

http://jamesintheuk.blogspot.com/2008/04/love-is-all-around-us.html

Thanks, James.

Can You Read My Mind?

So today I was doing some reading, and the following really struck a strong impression on me:

Do not judge, for you will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
-- Matthew 7:1-5 (NIV)

For the longest time, I took this to mean, "If someone is sinning, and you are sinning worse, who are you to judge the other person when you are even further downhill than they are?" While I suppose this holds some merit, I began thinking further on this scripture.

Granted, if we have read this, we know not to judge people trapped in sin. But is that all to it? How far does this scripture really go?

Then I started thinking, what if it's not just sin we judge, that will be wrought back upon us?

The obvious thing people will think of when I ask that question is judging other people by their appearance. Obviously the pretty, well-dressed blonde will look more appealing that the overweight mother-of-two wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. Moreover, most people, sadly, will be more apt to be kind to someone wealthy than someone in need.

But that wasn't the theory I chased down the rabbit hole.

Over the last 48 hours, something was said to me by someone I'm rather close to in response to something I had said. The response was rather out of character for the person, and kind of hurt when I heard it. And so, after absorbing what I heard fully, my mind began to stew over what aws going through that person's mind. I began trying to rationalize their reaction. Trying to make sense out of an unordinary statement from that person.

Several hours later, exhausted from trying to figure out what that person was thinking, and after reading that scripture, I realized, "What is the point? You are spending hours upon end trying to figure out what is going on inside another person's head, and yet you won't even spend 30 minutes trying to straighten out things in your own? Do you realize how foolish this is?"

It was quite an epiphany. And honestly, was exactly what I needed. While trying to understand what the other person was thinking was a valid endeavor, it was not worth the personal neglect. I know I'm guilty of this frequently. And that's probably why I sometimes break down, and yet have no clue what I do so.

And yet, I can spend so much time, and waste so much energy, trying to figure out something that, unless I can actually walk in that person's shoes, I will not accurately guess. Considering none of us have the power to manifest ourselves as another person, it's pointless.

Moreover, when we begin trying to dissect and understand the psyche of another person, and why they do or say certain things, we immediately start thinking the worst. Ok, maybe not everyone, but considering I've been in many conversations about this same subject, with people trying to figure out someone's reasoning, I've noticed this is the norm. When it comes to our emotions, and relationships with others, for the most part, we are pessimistic creatures. And as such, anything that backfires in our relationships, that are usually harmless, are picked apart like a scab until they are worse than they originally were.

It's just useless. If we were to spend even a fraction of the time we spent on this stuff on our own personal needs and problems, I believe that we would need even less time disseminating bad reactions from friends, because we would all be able to understand ourselves better, and be able to react better to different circumstances.

So, I guess it's time to take the plank out of my eye.

Why I Don't Give Out My E-Mail

I used to give out my e-mail address.

You know, before the everyone and my mom knew about IM. But that isn't the reason I don't give out my e-mail address anymore.

Or before the advent of Myspace/Facebook. But that still doesn't hit the root of why I don't give out my e-mail address anymore.

I don't give out my e-mail address anymore due to the fact that anybody who asks you for your e-mail address is not thinking, "Good! I can finally keep in touch with this person!" They are thinking, "Good! I have 500 chain letters that I need to send out so I won't die on Saturday, and stuff that I deem as funny that has been around longer than Usenet!"

E-mail: Please die, <3 everyone.

I was reminded how much I hate e-mail just today. Although it really started 2 months ago.

My mom and I went to church one night, and it was a good service. I was sitting next to Mom, and next to us was this one woman who I talked to before it started.

At the end of service she asks for my e-mail. Now, here's a bad position to be in. One, I can't lie and say I don't have an e-mail address; my mom is sitting right next to me, knows better, and would've called me on it, and I would've looked horrible in church. Two, I can't give a fake e-mail, or else she'll just bug me about her e-mails bouncing back every week at church. Yet three, I know what's coming as soon as she asked.

So I give it to her, and not three hours later I get an e-mail entitled: "FW: This is funny!"

......................WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Back before myspace, I became very very selective about who got my e-mail address. In '06, after one of my coworkers began sending me 500 chain letters a day, I refused to give it out unless absolutely necessary (meaning, if I'm not e-mailing you an attachment that for some reason, wouldn't send in IM, or I need to e-mail you a referral code for something, you don't get my e-mail). And it's things like this that make me wish that we would revert back to the pony express type crap.