Crap man, it's been a while. Where do I begin?
I finally got my linux kernel working. Then they upgraded, so I had to patch it. Now my problems are that I can't get my sound card to work anymore and I can't get my printer to work. Oh well, those can wait a bit. I've hit a fork in the road with both GNOME and KDE. GNOME won't install without a certain package, and I can't find it. I got the package I need for KDE to install, and it still won't. XFce installed fine. Gee, too bad I can't get my login manager to see I have a new environment. So now, I have to find out what's going wrong, and then I will be almost finished with my system. Then I gotta work on someone else's...oy vey.
Our stupid website is going crazy now. Our server has been nothing but one huge raging hormone since early last week. Now we're looking into paid hosting. As much as I hate to pay, I have to.
Well things are almost non-existant with the band. What we're thinking: lineup change. You'll see what I mean soon, if you even pay attention.
I went to a concert Saturday. Right Hand Man (the guitarist and drummer from the old Stick Shift, and the bassist for The Social Outcasts, my older band) played with Next In Line. It was pretty dope. I'm still sore!
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Thursday, March 04, 2004
Well I'm back again after having one my little apathetic moments earlier this week. They just happen every once in a while, and it helps for me to write that crap out, you know?
Have band practice tonight. Gonna be interesting. My allergies are acting up, and I think my head's gonna explode. But yet I'm still gonna expose it 120 dB of sound tonight. I am so stupid. YAY!
I got all the files I need for the upgrading of my Linux system. All except for the last three nights, the kernel has put through a veritable Hell. The first night, the file was corrupted, so I had to redownload the kernel. There was a new version out anyway, so it was just as well as I get it. So now, I've installed it, but I'm getting errors when I try to boot. Luckily I have my old kernel still on there, and I've been in and out of IRC chat rooms God knows how many times trying to figure out what's wrong, and I think I got it now, and it was due to my own stupidity. We'll see tonight, and hopefully, I'll be able to move on to upgrading the rest of the crap tonight after practice. Thank God it's pretty much installed, so now, I can just patch new versions when they come out. Takes up less room and less download time.
Interesting day on our band's message boards. We had this fake thug racist dude who was dissing one of our Puerto Rican members...then come to find out, the idiot didn't even like my band. Can you say, banned? Yes, that is what he is now. But, not like he was ever gonna show his face again anyway, cause I found out everything about where he was posting, and threatened to get his wannabe rear-end banned from his high-school internet access. That was a fun time. Expecting to see this idiot to try to reregister under another fake e-mail address anytime now and think that we won't know who he is.
That's it for my crazy life. Enjoy!
Have band practice tonight. Gonna be interesting. My allergies are acting up, and I think my head's gonna explode. But yet I'm still gonna expose it 120 dB of sound tonight. I am so stupid. YAY!
I got all the files I need for the upgrading of my Linux system. All except for the last three nights, the kernel has put through a veritable Hell. The first night, the file was corrupted, so I had to redownload the kernel. There was a new version out anyway, so it was just as well as I get it. So now, I've installed it, but I'm getting errors when I try to boot. Luckily I have my old kernel still on there, and I've been in and out of IRC chat rooms God knows how many times trying to figure out what's wrong, and I think I got it now, and it was due to my own stupidity. We'll see tonight, and hopefully, I'll be able to move on to upgrading the rest of the crap tonight after practice. Thank God it's pretty much installed, so now, I can just patch new versions when they come out. Takes up less room and less download time.
Interesting day on our band's message boards. We had this fake thug racist dude who was dissing one of our Puerto Rican members...then come to find out, the idiot didn't even like my band. Can you say, banned? Yes, that is what he is now. But, not like he was ever gonna show his face again anyway, cause I found out everything about where he was posting, and threatened to get his wannabe rear-end banned from his high-school internet access. That was a fun time. Expecting to see this idiot to try to reregister under another fake e-mail address anytime now and think that we won't know who he is.
That's it for my crazy life. Enjoy!
Monday, March 01, 2004
I'm losing my mind. That's all that I can surmise. I'm becoming the loose cannon I was afraid of becoming again. And I hate it.
Everything is blowing up on me. The road blocks have gone up with the woman I thought was mine...I've given up. Every other route cannot be taking...because it's being travelled by someone else. What else? What if I'm doomed to wander the planet alone?
This is making me sick. There's been times when I've wanted to blow up on people. There's been times when I've just wanted to gut myself. It burns me up, and I just wish I could just live in a hole somewhere.
I'm ashamed of myself...I feel like I'm always gonna be. It just makes me sick.
What am I doing? My band's getting back together, and I've GOTTA be strong for this. But I can't be. I'm nothing but weak, and I've accepted that, and I can just go back to my hole now. No one treats me badly there. I like it that way.
I feel like the biggest loser in the world. Maybe I am. I feel picked apart, and I just wish that I could get everything back. I wish I had myself back, but I'm gone...I found a better place to exist...and I don't know where that is.
I know God still loves me, but I just still feel like I could die and no one would even notice. Maybe I should've died in the hospital last February. I've put myself through so much Hell in this last year. I just feel like crashing...I feel like sleeping for two weeks...I've gotta do something. But what?
Everything is blowing up on me. The road blocks have gone up with the woman I thought was mine...I've given up. Every other route cannot be taking...because it's being travelled by someone else. What else? What if I'm doomed to wander the planet alone?
This is making me sick. There's been times when I've wanted to blow up on people. There's been times when I've just wanted to gut myself. It burns me up, and I just wish I could just live in a hole somewhere.
I'm ashamed of myself...I feel like I'm always gonna be. It just makes me sick.
What am I doing? My band's getting back together, and I've GOTTA be strong for this. But I can't be. I'm nothing but weak, and I've accepted that, and I can just go back to my hole now. No one treats me badly there. I like it that way.
I feel like the biggest loser in the world. Maybe I am. I feel picked apart, and I just wish that I could get everything back. I wish I had myself back, but I'm gone...I found a better place to exist...and I don't know where that is.
I know God still loves me, but I just still feel like I could die and no one would even notice. Maybe I should've died in the hospital last February. I've put myself through so much Hell in this last year. I just feel like crashing...I feel like sleeping for two weeks...I've gotta do something. But what?
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