Okay, so Jake came down for the weekend. Me, him, and Jonathan always chill when he comes down. Around this time, Jonathan decided he's an emcee, and decided to battle me on my boards. So i did. And he's been spanked. So as a consolation prize, Jake and I decided that we need to buy him something. So we went into Wal-Mart, left Jonathan in the car, got the packs of poker chips Jonathan and I need for the tournament we're having this weekend. Then we went to get his prize...a thong. We took it out to him, and he threw it back in my face. that's when I got an evil idea...and when i get an evil idea....things....happen....
So here we are, at Taco Bell. I'm standing outside, and Jake and Buckman walk in. They have a walkie-talkie, and so do I. They walk up the counter, start placing an order, and hit the call button on the walkie-talkie, signalling me to come in. I run in there with the thong on my face, and jump around behind them, then run out of there. They're standing in there pretending that they're wondering what the crap just happened, when the manager's like "did you see the guy run in here with the panties on his head?" But it didn't stop there...
Cue us up at Hardee's, Jake and Jonathan are going through the drive thru, and buzz me in, I run in one door, do the exact same thing, walk out the door closest to the drive thru, get back in the car...when they drive off (i'm in the back seat, mind you), i poke my head up, scare the drive thru attendant half to death...now everyone at hardee's thinks i'm omnipresent.
BUT IT DOES NOT END THERE.
Now, here we are at Kroger's drive up gas island. We stop there, don't even get gas. I crawl up under the window. Jake walks up to the window and asks the attendant what the cheapest brand of cigarettes they sell is. She turns around to look, and I pop my head up over the counter, with the thong on my head and a wide-eyed expression on my face, like I just got beamed down from another planet or something. She turns around...and the look on her face...I think she thought she was about to get jacked. I was gonna take the act a little bit further and start tapping on the glass, but after seeing the look on her face, I couldn't stop laughing...I dropped back down out of view, and just started cackling. Jake's trying to pretend nothing happened, and ask about the cigarettes, but then he doubled over at the counter, laughing his face off. I run back over to the car, where jonathan's still trying to come over to the island, about ready to die from laughing, and trying to tell him what happened. It must've been five minutes later before Jake mustered up enough strength to stop laughing and come back to home base.
So then we stop and mcdonald's and meet up with Whittney. she buys a happy meal, and gives us the prize...which i somehow use to make jake die laughing over cellulite. It was that little baby Princess Jasmine doll. Those who know the Steve story should understand this. Here's a dialog that made Jake snot Coke:
(While using doll as a puppet) "Hi, my name is Steve. Would you like to see my cellulite? I know you want to see my cellulite!" *then i lift up her hair, and point to her neck, as Jake is telling me to shut up* "Cellulite!"
then Whittney gets harrassed by her ex-boyfriend. so as we're driving off, we honk at them, while i'm sitting in the backseat, again with the thong on my face.
now it's time to hide the evidence. so on the way to jonathan's house, we stop at the local pharmacist's house, and i get out, and shove the thong in his mailbox. as i look back to the car, jake and jonathan are pulling off, because a car is coming, and they're scared it's the cops, so i take off running after them, open the back seat door, and jump in like it's one of those spy movies, and pretty much crush my ribs in the process.
yes...if you are ever in need of a good laugh, go get two of your friends, get 11 packs of poker chips, 3 dealer buttons, a pair of walkie talkies, and a thong. you'll know what to do from there.
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