Looking downward at the unknown
Afraid to take my next step
To jump or stay in this place
To walk away or move forward
Either way, I'm scared to commit
Either way, I'm afraid I am wrong
If I face my fears and jump
Maybe I grow, maybe I change
Maybe my situation will improve
But what if I keep freefalling
Into an abyss without end
If I stay here, I am in familiar territory
It won't change, but it doesn't matter
I won't be comfortable
Nor will I be jumping
At least this is familiar
But if I only could convince myself
As to how overrated familiarity is
I would jump off without hesitation
And remove myself from this struggle
Of hating life
Hating this grind
And hating myself
As well as everyone
And everything around me
And perhaps I would actually grow
Perhaps I would actually change
Perhaps I would finally love myself
Like God says He does
So I can actually love others that way
Instead of spending my life
With a knife behind my back
But it takes more courage
To put the knife down
Than it does to pick it up
The same as it does
To run off this cliff
And not look back
And my problems feel so large
That any forward motion
Seems like wasted effort
But I suppose this jump wouldn't be so valiant
If it wasn't done with all odds against its success
So knowing all of this
Why am I so scared of jumping?
Am I scared I will be alone on the other side?
Am I scared I will do this wrong and fail?
Am I scared things will be the same either way?
Or am I scared there will be no encouragement?
So here I am
Standing on the cliff
Heart ready, but legs unwilling
To take this leap of faith
And see my life make unparalleled changes
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