Gwangjin's Story - Pt. I

This is part one of I don't know how many parts of this story. This has been long promised, and we are finally getting it told. It was difficult, there was no good time, and Joseph had been busy. This last week, Nari, a Korean-American from Oklahoma (a state which I didn't expect Koreans to hail from) arrived at Durihana, and speaks strong enough Korean and fluent English, and offered to help me when there was time to get his story down, but it still hadn't opened up.

We came into the sanctuary after church tonight to practice a section of our upcoming choir performance on Saturday, and after we finished, I could feel God telling me "prep your camera, it's happening now." Not 5 minutes later, Gwangjin turns to Nari and tells her he's ready to tell me his story.

As I just said, I am recording this as it goes. I will be putting together the videos, which I will be showing at the churches I visit to share about my trip this year. If you live in Southern Illinois and want to attend one of these (and you should to get the full effect of this story--there are just somethings that writing them won't do justice compared to his video testimony), I know for a fact I will be speaking at Little Chapel Church in Harrisburg, Freedom Outreach Ministries in Vienna, and probably First Baptist Church in Ridgway at some point. When I have concrete dates set, I will let you know.

Without further adieu...



This is Gwangjin. He is 29 years old, and he lives here at Durihana. He was the first face of Durihana I saw at the airport, Joseph being the second. Shortly after meeting, he introduced himself as a North Korean. He is the first North Korean I have knowingly seen. With our language barrier, communication is difficult, but he is one of those people that I feel as close as a brother to in such a short time in knowing each other.

Gwangjin, as you can tell by the picture, is the drummer at our church. He has only been playing for a couple years, but he has great talent. His ultimate dream is to be a worship leader in North Korea when the two nations reunify and to be able to bring the Gospel to North Korea, since so many are unevangelized there. His dream is to be established as a worship leader here in South Korea before reunification, then when the border opens, he will be in North Korea spreading the Gospel. He looks at his time here as training. He is not a worship leader yet. But he looks at this as preparation for his ultimate ministry, that he is able to be trained and prayed over by people who are older and more spiritually mature than him before he can even reach his ultimate goal. And even with his dream to lead worship in North Korea, he also aspires to lead worship globally.

Like I said, he is talented. He can play guitar, drums, and the saxophone. He, however, cannot read sheet music. But he is still able to play these instruments with great proficiency. He wants to learn more instruments, including piano. Tonight, he was even asking me what basics he should learn to begin to learn bass, and even said that when Yoonmi and I marry, that he will play violin (even though he can't play it yet) at our wedding. That's an open invitation if he learns before then.

When he escaped North Korea, like most, his route involved going through China. North Koreans don't have passport or papers to cross the border. They either sneak out, or they bribe the border patrol to let them pass through. Once they're in China, despite China being party to an international treaty regarding not repatriating refugees, they're essentially criminals. You can't legally hold jobs. You can't go to school. Most people cower in fear and stay cooped up in apartments for months or years without setting foot outside, for fear that they will be noticed and arrested and repatriated to North Korea, which would result in imprisonment at least, and execution at worst.

Gwangjin however was already a fugitive, and lived like one. He did whatever he could to survive on the streets in China. He would steal food, money, bicycles, anything that he could flip for cash would be stolen. He would beat up people to steal from them. He told me an example of how he would ask to borrow someone's phone to make a phone call, then walk away with it. If they pursued him, he would crack them over the head with a lead pipe and take the phone. He said this happened multiple times, so I assumed the phone was then pawned for money to live off of. Whatever it took to survive.

He had no place to sleep in China. He never had his own place, so he explained that at night, he would take cardboard boxes to the roof of apartment buildings and sleep on top of the buildings. He even did this when it was cold. He said in the winter, it was so cold on top of the roof that the only way he could warm up enough to sleep was to drink hard liquor, so this became a routine where he couldn't sleep without a drink.

It was because of Durihana that he was able to escape China for South Korea. However, after he arrived here, he wasn't apt to go to church at that time, despite Pastor Chun leading him out. He said that even though he was warm in Korea, he was lonely at night. Because of this, he continued his trend of drinking alcohol and smoking to ease his loneliness at night so he could sleep. He still struggles with both, and told me he has often been chided by Pastor Chun regarding these. He is trying to quit both, and is smoking an electronic cigarette to ween himself off of tobacco. He also found out during a physical that his liver is in bad shape because of his drinking, and if he doesn't quit, he will end up with liver cancer or cirrhosis. He is asking for prayer to help him quit both.

He said making money was easy for him when he got to Seoul. He said he could make around $5,000 monthly, yet he was always broke, and couldn't understand why. He also got married, and even has a 6-year-old son, but they divorced. He couldn't understand why then, but since coming to Durihana, he understands God was trying to lead him to him, and make him stop trusting in himself and lean on God.

Shortly after arriving at Durihana, he told Pastor Chun he wanted to play drums. Pastor Chun told him to go for it, and was able to pick out a brand new drum kit to learn on. He treats his worship as a prayer to God, as he finds it difficult to vocally pray himself. This is one of the most poignant statements I've ever heard in my life.

By the time he had escaped North Korea, he had been in prison 5 times in the nation. At this point, I have to stop, because this is as far as we've gotten into his story. Please keep tuned in for part two later on.

The Conference

So last week, I went to a conference. It was held by Yoonmi's church on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and was held at a stadium here in Seoul. I had known about it since December, well after I had decided I was coming in June. I knew I had to go.

Now, some people may be detracting, that I should've spent time with the people here instead. But trust me, this conference was a pivotal time for me spiritually.

Now, let's remember that my church prophesied the spirit of the lion over me. Also, in 2008, I attended a seminar at my church about depression with my mom. I was feeling depressed at the time, as was my mom. While we were there, an older woman who worked for TCT was there, and spoke over me that I had a "double portion, and that God was going to do great things through me." I didn't necessarily believe it at the time.

I arrived on Monday night for the first leg of the conference. I could only go to one of the two sessions that night. The first session was led by Scott Brenner, who most Americans won't know. You might know the name if you're from IHOP, as he apparently worked along Mike Bickle, but otherwise, he's relatively unknown outside America. That's mainly because he's spent a long time over here, living and ministering in Korea alongside his wife, Sunghee. He is a pastor here, and also a worship musician and songwriter, with an awesome gift. He can't speak a word of Korean outside of the Spirit, but can write and sing the most amazing Korean worship songs you could imagine. The first night, his worship team performed, and it was stunning. I had heard them last year at their church, but I was equally (if not impressed) this time around.

I had to leave after his session to go back to Durihana for evening services, but Dutch Sheets, which Americans most likely have heard of, great author, very strong speaker, finished off the night. I don't know the notes of this sermon, but Yoonmi later told me that at the end of it, he prophesied that either during Lee Myung-bak's presidency, or after, that the North Korean regime will be gone. Told you it was pivotal that I went.

Another thing I noticed that night: the banner above the stage read "Prepare the way of the Lord," and it also had a Lion in the background. That was enough of a confirmation for me to know I was supposed to be there.

Tuesday started early, at 10am, and didn't finish until close to 10:30PM. I arrived there, and heard Johnny Enlow preach. This was a name I had never heard before, but will never forget. He is the pastor of Daystar Church in Atlanta, and an anointed author to say the least. He has a book out called the 7 Mountain Prophecy, which I highly recommend to anyone to read, and will actually be buying it myself when I come home. For those from my church (and other people reading this) that have been involved in the Truth Project, this book will really appeal to you. Each of the 7 mountains correlate with the 7 spheres mentioned in the Truth Project. However, Enlow goes into further detail with them than can be expressed in an hour of video. He went through the sermon to describe the relevance of these in our lives and how we should apply these. The fact of the matter is, God is ready to invade every sector of society, and transform earth back into His original intentions, if we would take hold of this truth and run with it. If we would stop shrugging away from effecting the world and just staying comfortable in the religious area, we would see great things happen.

He then did something that really hit home. He mentioned that he usually brings a shofar on his trips, and blows it in front of the crowd at the end of his time. He then mentioned he didn't bring it to Korea. Instead of blowing a shofar, he was instead going to roar like a lion in front of the crowd, to awaken our inner lion. I almost hit the ground.

Dutch Sheets came on next, and was very impactful. He spoke something I had heard him speak in 2009 from the DVDs of this same church's conference that year, going from Ecclesiastes 3 to Acts where Peter healed the lame beggar in front of the temple gates. He used this to illustrate that there is a right time for every one and everything thing, and God is bringing Korea into a right time, and in this right time, they would see reunification.

However, he spoke something of great importance, the period of transition. In this period, God takes away things, and begins to tear away things from you to prepare you for a new assignment. In this time, just like the renovation of a building, things seem in disarray, and Satan can try to use this disarray to dampen your spirits, to keep you there. It's here when you have to hold on to the truth of what you know, and listen even closer to God's voice, to lead you to the right time.

The next one, probably the turning point for me in this entire conference, was Cindy Jacobs. I haven't read any of her books; in fact, the first time I heard of her was when Yoonmi sent me an mp3 of her speaking at her church's conference in 2008. I was already impressed then, and was ready to see what happened here.

Her main battle cry was that the church needs to transition from pathetic prayers to decreeing things into existence. If we want to see things change, weak hearted prayers won't cut it. We need to act with reckless abandon toward the things we desire. Her case in point was reunification.

However, she took a random turn at the end of her sermon, and asked the youth at the conference to come to the front. She started with people 25 and under, which caused me to wince, because I missed the cutoff by one year. But then, she said something else "Now I know someone out there is saying, 'Cindy, what about me? I'm only 28.' So I going to open it up to people 30 and younger." At this point, I'm STILL not sure if I should go up, even though I fell into the age range, I'm not exactly Korean. However, I see Yoonmi's mother motioning to me to go up. Can't really say no to momma, right?

We were up there maybe 20 minutes in prayer, when she starts prophesying over people. She called one girl to start an orphanage, one man to start a campus ministry, and be against abortion in this nation. Then she points at me. No joke, and waves me to the front. And then, asks me to say my name, which she didn't ask anyone else (probably because I was clearly foreign, and it would be easier for her to say my name). But this in itself was what needed to happen: Yoonmi was upstairs working in the bookstore for the conference, and they had monitors and PA's in the bookstore so the workers could hear. She heard, "Corey" and turned around in shock.

She then proclaimed me as having a double portion. That confirmed what she was about to say further, because immediately, I was brought back to that seminar in 2008. She felt God's calling on missions in me. She then called out the name Eric Liddell on me. This broke me open; his life has mesmerized me since I first learned of him through the film Chariots of Fire. Then she started to call out nations: "I feel God's calling in you for..." and my mind started to fill in the blank with North Korea, but then she finished her statement with, "...China and Mongolia." And my jaw dropped. Neither country was anything I could've concocted in my mind. In fact, last year, I was quoted in November as telling Yoonmi that I would never even try to learn Chinese, that the tonal part of the spoken language was too much for me to handle, then to top it off, to learn how to read and write it?! Not for me...

...but yet, in my heart, I knew what she was saying was right. And all I could do was thank God for showing me another leg in my journey. She went on further to say I would stand against injustice, and that while I was on my trips, I would do church planting and preaching. I think I blacked out after that, because Yoonmi and her mom both corroborate that she told me whatever I give to God will be given back tenfold. There was another, but Yoonmi was the only one who remembered it. I need to ask her again, so I can write it all down.

At any right, I was floored by this whole thing. I went back to my seat, trying to write it down, and couldn't, because Yoonmi's mom came and grabbed me, and hugged me, and was just telling me how happy she was and thanking God. I was later told by Yoonmi that her mom said when I went up, she started praying that I receive revelation and confirmation. Prayer granted.

I then went to find Yoonmi in the bookstore, but she was busy and couldn't talk, but just told me how happy she was and we would talk later. I was then approached by the guy who had campus ministry prophesied over him, and his older sister, who wanted me to go to dinner with them. They had previously approached me leaving the front, with her asking me, "Do you know Chinese?" And then I laughed and said, "No, but I guess I will soon!"

So with that, I was off with Jennifer (She introduced herself by her English name) and Seungjun for some bibimbap and some discussion. It truly was a gift from God. I had eaten lunch alone, which I didn't mind at all. But to have company and fellowship for dinner before the next session? It really was wonderful. The reason I struck them to want to dine with me is that her brother is also called into China, so he wanted to connect.

The next speaker was Che Ahn, a Korean-American from California. I had only heard his name through Yoonmi, but she rarely made mention of him. I began to think he was less anointed than the other speakers, but I well underestimated him. He has a strong healing ministry, which is something I connect with, but he did a very strong presentation on how the church is changing. He spoke on 8 dynamic shifts that the church is going and should go through to see us return to the NT church and the power that comes with it. If I tried to write everything down, it would be a full day's task, but I will write down the 8 shifts:

1. Shift from denominational to apostolic alignment.
2. Shift from preaching the Gospel of Salvation to the Gospel of the Kingdom.
3. Shift from ordained pastors to commissioned servants.
4. Shift from traditional education to new models of equipping.
5. Shift from traditional evangelism to discipling whole nations.
6. Shift from traditional revival to revival in this new era.
7. Shift from a negative to a positive eschatology.
8. Shift from a poverty to a prosperity mentality.

He also, later, laid out a dream where he met with Ronald Reagan and Lee Myeong-bak, both of whom have faced backlash for their positions on their respective rival nations. He was reminded of how Reagan made the decree to Gorbechav to tear down the Berlin Wall, and two years later it was torn down. He once again, mirroring Dutch Sheets, prophesied that within two years after Lee Myeong-bak leaves Cheongwadae, that the DMZ will be gone.

If I tried to skim over even my notes on this conference from every day, this would take all day to write. I wrote around 60 pages of notes during this conference, and my wrist is still feeling the effects. Yoonmi laughed at how concise my notes were becoming, but I couldn't control it. I wanted to have as much written down as I could. Anyone that wants to see these notes, I would be more than happy to let you see them, or make copies of them for you.

Also of note is that there will be a DVD of this conference. I tried to pre-order one on Thursday night at the discounted price of 40000KRW for the boxed set, to which Yoonmi told me not to worry, she'll make sure I get it. When I get this, and it is region free I believe (It worked in my Xbox last year), anyone that wants to watch this can watch this.

Also there, and certainly not least was Andre Ashby and JoAnn McFatter for worship. These are also unknowns in America I believe, however, if you've been to IHOP, you may also know these names. They worship prophetically, and to the secular mind, the only thing I can liken them to is a jam session of nothing but worshiping God. They were so powerful, that even the interpreter was overwhelmed to the point where it was hard on her to keep interpreting what they were singing (impromptu) into Korean.

This was one of the most important and edifying times in my life, and I'm grateful to have gone.

자갈치 & Entertaining Angels

If you know me well enough (like Buckman and several of my closest friends do), and saw the kind of effects I brought back last time from Korea with me, you knew I brought a decent amount of bags of Jagalchi with me. Jagalchi is, without question, my favorite snack food. Period. You can have your Doritos, your Curleh~ Mustache with Pringles, candy bars, Pop Tarts, whatever. Give me a bag of Jagalchi, and I'm complete.

Jagalchi is a type of chip you can only find in Korea that I'm aware of, unless you live near an Asian food store. It's squid flavored. Yeah, you heard me correctly. This sounds gross, but I can't get enough of them. When Hyunsil visited in 2007, she brought some with her, and gave me a bag of my own. And I loved them. When I came here last year, the first time I saw them, I got some. And the love affair began anew.

So naturally, if I'm in the mood for a snack over here, I'm quick to head to 7-Eleven to grab some coffee, a Pocari Sweat, or a cider, and a bag of Jagalchi. And today was no different.

I don't think I've referenced this yet, but there is a young North Korean girl here. She is no more than 5 years old, but I've estimated 4. I could be wrong. Whatever her age, I first encountered her on the first Friday I was here. When I met her, Seol explained that she was deaf. And it's pretty apparent; she is inattentive to voices or even sharp noises, and often makes loud shrieks and noises, unaware that she is even doing so. There have been times when I can hear her at midnight doing so.

Seeing her, God just placed her on my heart. I don't know why. And honestly, I have really only seen her close to Seol, Joseph, Hana, and Pastor Chun's wife, and no one else. So I could already tell that she doesn't trust easily.

Fast forward to today. I'm sitting in the office, eating a bag of Jagalchi, and drinking some coffee. She walks up behind me, and notices the bag. And I knew she wouldn't do anything near me. She hadn't the entire time I've been here. She wouldn't even get near me hardly. But I could hear God just telling me, "Give her a chip."

So, with her standing right beside me, I pick up the bag, and offer her a chip. And she takes one out, and eats it, and walks away. I thought she was gone. So I'm sitting there, still eating, while checking Facebook on my Droid, but I can detect the presence of another life-form behind me. They weren't casting any shadows over me, so I knew it had to be her. And sure enough, she was looking over my shoulder.

I turn to look, and she hides behind my other shoulder, giggling. I turn to the other shoulder--same thing. Repeat this process several times. And I can tell she's playing with me. I start moving my head really fast and she starts cracking up while still trying to hide. I center my head again, wait about 5 second, then jerk it back to the shoulder she's looking over, and she ducks, laughing.

Then she pulls out the chair beside me, and sits down, and we split the bag. God just keeps telling me stuff to do. Nothing super spiritual. In fact, I looked petulant. Things like putting two chips over my eyes, putting one on my nose. Something I have reservations in doing. But she was laughing her head off at it. Then she followed suit, trying to make me laugh. And any time she got me to laugh, her smile got bigger, and she laughed harder.

Shortly after I got here, a group of Koreans living in Taiwan came here as well. One of them walked in, saw her with me, laughing. And all he could was say was, "Dude, how'd you get her to like you?" All I could say was "Snacks."

But that did confirm my suspicions. She doesn't trust people outside her circle. The closest I got to her was when she fell asleep in Joseph's lap at church one night, and was able to take a picture. But otherwise, I had only seen her with him, Seol, Hana, and Pastor Chun's wife. That was her circle. But suddenly, here I was, sharing a bag of Jagalchi and seeing her laugh with me.

We were close to the end of the bag, and I needed to use the bathroom. I wound up pointing to the bag, then to her, letting her know the rest was hers. She smiled and took the bag, and went back to Pastor Chun's wife's desk. And I went to the bathroom.

But it was that type of moment that warmed my heart. I had no clue that this type of event would occur. This was not in the brochure. This was not something I was expected to do. But this was something God wanted. And if anything, this girl's heart had a transition of sorts.

I may never know the ramifications of this afternoon's snack with her. But I do know that this was a time where I entertained an angel.

A Friday (Not to) Remember

Friday continued the same overcast that Thursday had. And it was really taking its toll. Everyone was tired. I came into the office, and everyone looked like they were fighting off sleep. I went to class, and everyone acting like they were tired. Even David, who is so interactive and energetic, looked like he was inches from nodding off. They understood the lesson, but you could tell, they were not into it, and the weather was to blame. I felt it too. It was hard to really get energized, I felt bad, that I felt like I was holding back the class from being enthused as well, but honestly, I knew everyone shared the sentiment.

After lunch, I took another nap, and barely did anything. I worked to reconfigure my laptop. GNOME3 just wasn't cutting it, with it hanging at the lock screen so often. Back to Openbox.

Tiresome Thursday

Wednesday night, after church, clouds rolled in, and it rained for a bit. The rain soon cleared up, but the overcast lingered.

All of Thursday was spent under the covering of clouds. And it was effecting everyone. Everyone was tired, everyone was dragging. Everyone just felt like it was later in the day than it was supposed to be. I at first thought it was more jetlag, but honestly, I'm over it. It was just exhausting to be under crappy weather.

We did Bible study, and ate, and then I went upstairs to do private worship. I instead fell asleep. I was just exhausted. On top of that, I was insanely sore from sports school. I've sinced vowed to get some form of exercise while I'm here, and get in the practice of exercising for when I come home.

After my nap, I knew I needed to go buy some postcards. My grandparents' anniversary was coming up on the 16th. It takes a week to receive something from Korea via snail mail, so I knew that Thursday (the 9th) was the last day I could do so. So, I was heading back to Jonggak, and Insadong.

While at Jonggak, I stopped by a bookstore to buy a couple CD-Rs (The only place I knew that sold them at this point). I wanted to burn a couple CDs for Seol to listen to. It was the only thing, and the very least I could do, to show appreciation for helping me out during worship service.

After that, I headed back to Insadong for the souvenir shops. I found a good set of postcards, and headed out, looking for a place to write them at. I needed a flat desk-like surface to write. Any restaurant in the area was a sit-down restaurant, and I didn't want them to get their hopes up that I was ordering food. The only other place I could think of was somewhere that I knew would be slow at that time of the day, and would have a flat enough surface that I could write, albeit distracted.

I headed to a small arcade in Insadong, and sat at a Tekken cabinet, and wrote out my postcards. It was noisy, but at least it was a good surface to write on. The cabinets are linked, so there's only one set of controls per cabinet, so there is plenty of elbow room, thus making there be plenty of writing room. After writing, I headed for the nearest post office.

The nearest post office was around a 20 minute walk, through the subway and towards Gwanghwamun. I got there, mailed the post cards and left. As I walked out, I had a realization of where exactly I was. Last year, we went to Gwanghwamun Square before going to the presidential palace. In Gwanghwamun Square, they have a statue of King Sejong, the creator of the Korean written language as we know it today. Underneath said statue, was a museum, which I wanted to go to last year. However, due to the fact that we needed to be at Cheongwadae in a short time, we couldn't go. I realized I was a block away from the square, and there was no better time than now to go to this museum. Off we go.

I do not regret this decision at all. What I got to see was truly educational, and things that I would have never known otherwise was brought to light.

Under King Sejong's rule:

-The Korean alphabet was created. This is probably the biggest, most important thing he created. The more I walked through this section, the more I learned. This honestly wasn't haphazardly created. Each consonant served more than just a functional purpose. There was a rhyme to the reason each consonant was created like it was, with every consonant showing the positioning of the tongue and mouth as each consonant is sounded out. I stood there in epiphany mode as I made each sound, and noted where my tongue and mouth was during the pronunciation. It really is remarkable.
-A very advanced sundial was created, that could not only tell the time, but also the seasons, days, months, and so on.
-A notation system for Korean music was created, allowing for advanced notation of music before our modern form of musical notation was widely used.

He was a very strong leader, had a long period of peace, and brought great advances to the world, as well as a strong sense of leadership, but something struck me here. Sejong is highly revered in Korea. His advances are well-known, and he truly did well. However, if you were to say something bad about him, I could guarantee you the backlash would be unmistakable and harsh. I even fear saying that I can't even truly ascertain whether the advances made in his rule were of his own ideas and creation, or whether they were done by members of his court, and he just took credit, or even if they were his ideas, but he had aid by his court members and scholars to bring them to fruition. I just don't know, and I don't know if people in Korea would even know. Just we know what has been taught.

But Koreans hold this man, only a man, in high reverence. Sure, he was a good ruler, but they hold them in almost a place of unshakable esteem, and anyone who challenges this be damned. This makes me wonder how much this reverence towards leaders has shaped this country as a whole.

In the South, it seems like their apathy toward politicians is as strong as in America. I haven't found many people who have positive things to say about Lee Myung-bak. I have found some, but the general apathy reflects America's apathy overall. We were unhappy, collectively, with Bush, but now, we're just as unhappy with Obama. Koreans don't even have the choice of re-electing presidents, as presidents only serve one 5-year term here. So, if they don't like the last guy's job, they elect an opposing party, which sounds similar to America, except for the fact the previous President, unless he is at the end of his second term, can run again.

But this overall apathy is apparent. I haven't heard a bad thing about Syngman Rhee, South Korea's first president. And again, if you tried to detract for Sejong's reign, then you're going against Korean society. When a Korean president makes a mistake, it's almost as if they are trying to initially hold him up to the esteem of Rhee or Sejong. When he fails, he is lowered from that pedestal, and there's no way he can come back from that.

And I'm not pointing fingers squarely at Korea. We do it stateside too. We look at great leaders like Washington, and Lincoln, and Roosevelt, and we hold them up in great esteem. Then we elect leaders who are in no way like those three, and expect them to do great things. When they don't, we thrash them on CNN, Fox News, and the like, until the next leader arrives, and we do the same to him.

But because of this esteem of former leaders, we aren't looking toward the present. This causes apathy toward the government, because they aren't doing the great things of old.

This leads me to North Korea, which is a polar opposite of the apathy we experience. The reverence of King Sejong led to something Kim Il-sung took full advantage of: completely and total blind loyalty to a ruler. If you show promise, then you will be worshipped. After the 38th parallel was sectioned off following the fighting, North Korea's economy rebounded faster than the South's. And because of this, Kim Il-sung is revered. And in affluent areas in North Korea, it's easy to continue this reverence. They have everything handed to them. Kim Il-sung's provision still happens, so clearly he is great.

Even in impoverished areas, it's often hard to give up this reverence, because they are indoctrinated from the beginning that Kim Il-sung is great, and by relation, so is Kim Jong-il. Even if it isn't true, even if 99.9% of it is a lie, they still believe it, because people are taught that with great conviction that it is the truth. Just like we are told that Sejong did all these great things on his own merit. This could be the truth, but it could also be his subordinates that did most of the work. But it is a blind reverence toward the people in power that I'm focusing on. Because Sejong is great, if another leader is proclaimed as great, then they are revered like Sejong. So through this opportunity, Kim Il-sung became great, Kim Jong-il is great, and Kim Jong-un (the projected successor to North Korea) will be great as well.

These are just things that crossed my mind at the museum. Most of it was positive. I was very impressed with the advances during Sejong's reign. It is because of him and his reign that common Koreans are able to read and write, and not just the societal elite that could go to school to learn Chinese characters. He didn't know it, but he paved the way for an entire nation to know God. If it weren't for Korean Bibles, none of this would be possible.

I wandered further, and got a unique experience. I was able to write my name with a Korean traditional calligraphy brush on rice paper. Upon finishing mine, the host told me I wrote like a Korean would. Not a bad compliment.

On this I came back home. I burned the CDs for Seol, and left to go meet Yoonmi for dinner. We decided on Italian, so back to Myeongdong for Pane Pasta. Once again, I got Fettucine Formaggio, which was again, the best Italian dish I could ever touch. Green tea bread + pasta is just an amazing comination, and has such a taste that I cannot really define it, except to say it just works. I would actually prefer it over your run of the mill pasta.

We then walked around Myeongdong, eventually heading toward Chungmuro. We passed by several pet shops, where Yoonmi looked longingly at puppies. I could honestly see a puppy in our future, easily.

With that, we headed back toward the station, and home, where I fell asleep rather quickly.

Wednesday's church service

After my much-needed shower, it was time for dinner. After such a workout, I ate a mass amount of food. Afterwards, Gwangjin, Hana, Seol, and I came upstairs to practice for worship service. Once again, it was just a powerful time. Joseph gave the sermon. While I don't understand enough Korean to get everypoint, I got the basis of it. He spoke out of Daniel, where Daniel neither opted to eat the royal food, or bow down to his king in worship.

The basis was this: We should do what's right in God's sight, not what's right in our own, or even our country's. We're all faced with those situations at some point. In America, we're faced with this in smaller scale, among friends, colleages at work, school, and people we meet on the street. Sometimes, we're even faced with it at church. I remember fund raising for missions, and someone told me I should do so a different way, telling me to work multiple jobs. However, that was not what God was telling me to do. I did what was right in waiting on God, and not trusting in myself.

However, we may, one day, face pressure from our own governments regarding our faith, that we should renounce it or die. The thing is, these people have already faced it, and if God called them to cross the border again for evangelism right now, would face it again. It didn't even end with their faith, but their very existance and hearts were attacked. Like I mentioned before, the dreams and hopes of a North Korean are deferred for the party betterment. So, let's just say for instance, that a North Korean wanted to be a scientist. If the party doesn't think they should, but should be something else, such a soccer player, then they have no say in the matter. If the party says you are a soccer player, then that's what you are. You could hate soccer, but if North Korea wants you to be a soccer player, then you are. If you aren't, you are insubordinate, and face punishment. If God has called you otherwise, then that's too bad, because the government is God in North Korea. You do what they say.

But God calls us higher than this. He asks us to honor our government, but when he has called us to do something, we do it. If the government stands in our way of this, then we do it anyway. At judgment, we are not answering ultimately to king and country, but to God alone. Barack Obama will not open the book of life. Kim Jong-il can sentence someone to execution, but he cannot condemn someone to Hell. When we are called by God to something, and our earthly government contradicts this calling, who are we to follow?

We have to follow God. This is becoming an unpopular choice, and certainly is to North Koreans. When we choose to follow God, we follow him, no matter the circumstance, and God never said our circumstances are always going to make it easy to follow Him. In North Korea, you are told to bow in reverance and worship to the statue of Kim Il-sung. You are taught from an early age to worship him as God. If you worship any other, you are against your country, and imprisoned. But God called us to be like Daniel. Daniel faced the lions, and Daniel knew what the implications were and what the judgment would be if he refused to worship the king. He worshipped God anyway.

Even facing certain death, persecution, and hatred, we should worship God. We should answer his calling, and not the world's.

Sports School

Lots to write about. Once again, I'm sorry for not writing over the past few days, it's just been madness over here. The times I have had the opportunity to write, I have been exhausted. So, allow me to catch up now.

Instead of writing one massive blog, I will instead section it off into various blog posts. That large blog last week took it out of me.

Wednesday afternoon, I was standing outside Durihana, figuring out what to do with my free time. I had done what I needed in my room, and had posted pictures on Facebook. I was now in a quandry. I could go visit a Christian bookstore that Joseph and I happened upon Tuesday when activating my phone. I could just go wander around a random area in Seoul. But I was standing there, weighing the options.

Then, one of the teachers here asked if I would like to go with the students to sports school. I basically understood the concept, and without any desire to pass up opportunities like this, I jumped at it. She then asked me to go put on sneakers (I was wearing a pair of flip flops). I had the lingering suspicion that this might be more involved than I anticipated as we walked two buildings down, and into a basement.

I walked in to find my students, along with others, standing in what could be described as a makeshift gym area. When the teacher came out, it was conducted in a similar manner as a PE class would be in America. The students started out with basic calisthenics and stretches, then out came soccer balls. They practiced basic passes to each other, much like we play pitch & catch in America with baseball. Then they played a soccer form of keep away, once again practicing ball handling and passing, with the person in the middle trying to intercept. After about 15 minutes of this, they picked sides, and started a game. Then I was tossed a jersey. Yeah, this means I'm playing too, and the first time I've played organized soccer in 15 years.

This wasn't an official style game by any means. There was only 5 players to a side. The room was really small, so there were no boundaries. If it hit the wall, it was no different than playing a puck off the boards in hockey, thus adding a semblance of familiarity, and strategy, for me. The only things that you could compare it with soccer was no hand balls and get the ball in the goal.

Everyone was really getting into it. So was I. I was about ready to collapse from the exertion. My sedentary lifestyle has really taken its toll on me. The students were going strong after 30 minutes of play. By 10, I was having to dig into the reserve tanks trying not to dry heave. Makes me really ashamed to be American, where we have bred a nation of couch potatoes and fast food junkies.

2/3 of the way through soccer, I switched to goal. This was after the other team scored 3 unanswered goals on us. Last time I played, I played goal, and I remember I did well at it. And it seems like I still have the reflexes and limberness to handle goal, as they got nothing by me. I was an unstoppable wall in goal, and was sacrificing my body to stop the ball. I have the bruises on my knees and hips (still) to prove it.

Soccer finally ended, and I thought we were done. In America, we would have been. Not in Korea. I had a short breather, then they started playing half-court basketball. They put me on the opposite team as David (the only male student in my class), as I think they thought putting us together would've made for an unfair advantage. On the onset, I thought their assumption was wrong. I suck at basketball. I can prove this by the fact that on my 8th grade team, I was the only one not to score a single basket. This is not a stat I'm proud of, but I think I proved my point.

However, when I got going, I got on fire, and their assumption was correct. David and I often challenged each other. Any time I scored, David would have me check it and say "Come on, come on. Again!" And it was just a strong game, lots of passing, lots of shooting, lots of defense. I don't even know the score, nor did I care. I was having fun. However, when class ended, I wanted to die. That took more out of my tank than I even knew I had--I did know that I was running on fumes.

When we got upstairs, first thing I did, and the only think I could think of, was running to 7-Eleven for a Pocari Sweat (a Korean sports drink). Then I went to my room, cranked the A/C, and cooled off while drinking a HUGE bottle of Pocari. Then I went downstairs to take a much-needed shower (as it was almost time for church).

You know, I had so much fun in going there, but that wasn't the point. I got to see the students in their element, doing things that were exciting.

When I first heard and learned of North Korea, I was taught about their beliefs in the Cult of Personality regarding their leaders. I was taught they were commies, plain and simple. We were taught throughout our lives, at least as far as the Soviets were concerned, that they are taught to love the party, and hate freedom, and those who love freedom. Considering Juche style communism is a fork from Stalinism, the same could hold true for North Koreans. So by way of reasoning, we could just assume that North Koreans were robotic, communist, war-hungry people who hated us and only cared about the party.

After sports school, I saw my reasoning thrown out the window. I saw the students laughing, running around, having fun. They played soccer because it was fun. They celebrated when they scored, and grimaced when they got scored on. But at the end of the game, no one cared. They had fun. It was the same with the basketball game. Just watching David, who is very athletic, every single bit of the game was exciting for him. It didn't matter whether we were talking about soccer or basketball, he enjoyed it. I saw students, including David, practicing Taekwondo moves. I saw them laughing. I saw them smiling. I saw them doing things we Americans take for granted, leaving things like that to the pros, as we sit in our seats at home or a stadium eating hot dogs and drinking beer. And they enjoyed it.

Sure, they're in South Korea now, but by birthright, they're North Koreans. And while not every North Korean has accepted that the Kim rule is a fraud, they aren't all war hungry, and the people here certainly aren't. They laugh, they cry, the smile, they have fun. They have hopes and dreams, just like us. In North Korea, those hopes and dreams are deferred for the party, but here, these students, as smart and talented as they are, can do anything they set themselves out to do.

But I can never say that North Koreans are robotic. Not after this. I had my misconceptions shattered.

Tuesday

Tuesday could honestly be seen as uneventful. Truthfully, the largest amount of my day was spent getting my phone activated and set up properly. So yes, I do, officially, have a Korean phone number. God provided! I had no doubt he would, he just didn't do it in the amount of time I anticipated he would. But I'm well aware of the fact that he doesn't have to follow a set time frame by me. And honestly, after the events Monday, I think it was the perfect time. He built me up by doing so.

I had no class to teach yesterday, so I mostly spent time in the office, writing the marathon blog I wrote yesterday, talking with people, and grabbed a snack of ice cream and coffee after lunch.

Joseph and I had a nice talk yesterday. We also walked around the Isu area yesterday, and wound up going to an LG store. He wanted to look at new laptops, and we bumped into the bleeding edge in laptop technology - 3D laptops. It was just...mindblowing. They were displaying movie previews, game previews, and SNSD music videos all in 3D, and it truly showcased the platform's power. It definitely blows what we used to call 3D out of the water some 20 years ago.

I hadn't tried the latest 3D technology yet. I hadn't seen Avatar in 3D, nor any of the other gimmick movies in 3D since Avatar's release. So I had no clue how this technology worked. I honestly expected it to be a waste. But it honestly is mindblowing. I would say it's either on par or close to the 3D attractions at Disney World (Muppetvision/Honey I Shrunk the Audience). Nearby, they were showcasing 3DTVs, and if the laptops were good, watching airplanes just pull up right in front of your nose and looking almost life-size was mesmerizing.

My only complaint with the technology would have to be the requirement to wear glasses, and the subsequent eyestrain that follows with using them for extended periods of time. I've also heard that headaches can occur with prolonged usage. Plus, the price point. For the TVs, it was like $10,000 for a TV that can receive a picture with the distortion required to make the technology work? Pfft.

Not that I was planning on purchasing at all, but it was nice, of course, to see.

We headed back toward Durihana, and ran into one of the girls here heading for the pharmacy, clutching her stomach and grimacing. Joseph asked her, and she did have a bad stomachache. But she was in a hurry to get there, and we didn't talk long. But it was in the back of my mind, and I felt like I was supposed to pray for her. Of course, she was gone in a hurry, and I just shrugged it off for then.

After a couple hours, I was in my room watching a movie on my laptop, and relaxing, when I saw her walk by my room, with the same pained expression on her face clutching her stomach still.

I walked downstairs to find her in the kitchen area, laying down on a bench clutching her stomach. I knew. It was time to pray. I went to find Joseph, and asked him her name (Su-mi) and if he would go help me tell her that I wanted to pray for her. She isn't in my class, so I don't think she knew any English. And he was excited to.

We went out from the office, to see her heading back upstairs toward her room, and caught her. He asked if I could pray for her, and she said that was fine, slumped down in a chair, and I laid hands and started to pray. Joseph prayed with me, I believe in English. I honestly don't think she knew a single word I prayed, just that she trusted that I was praying for her stomach to be healed. At the end of it, I felt compelled to tell her to give God thanks, even if it hurts now, that her stomach was being healed. And she did, and went back to her dorm. I didn't see her again that day.

When I saw her this afternoon at lunch, she looked better, and I asked her if her stomach was better with hand signals, and she nodded, and did her best to tell me thanks in English. It was such a blessing to see it happen. I know it was God, and not a placebo. How could someone, who has no clue what I'm praying, just be healed like that through a placebo? Sometimes I've been prayed for, and questioned whether my healing was a placebo effect of reacting to what was being spoken. But she couldn't do that. She couldn't understand one iota of what I prayed. It's just powerful how God is confirming my faith through my doings here.

This morning, I went to their early morning prayer meeting at 5am. I don't do anything at 5am, so it was a battle. I was also told it wasn't required that I go, but I went. While I was there, I felt compelled to pray over the sanctuary for revival, then pray over the classrooms and all the dorm rooms, then went back to sleep.

I'm honestly feeling like I'll see the effects of this prayer in my time here. If I don't, I'm sure I will hear reports from Joseph later. But all I know is God is getting ready to move here.

Today I did have class. We went over the words a/the in English. There isn't an actual equivalent to this in Korean. The closest you get is the 이/가/은/는/을/를 particles in Korean, but they barely come close to a/the. So, when I felt frustrated studying the aforementioned Korean particles, I expected them to be the same with a/the. However, they seemed to pick it up ok. We'll see later if they did, but they didn't seem to have any questions regarding it. I also introduced related terms like "a couple/a few/some/a lot," which are pivotal in knowing the usage of a/the.

We also went over basic sentence structure, one of the things they wanted and needed to learn. This is quite the opposite in Korean. Korean sentences typically go subject + object + verb. The verb is ALWAYS last in Korean. In English, the basic structure is of course subject + verb + object. Another difference in Korean is the subject is often understood, and omitted, which cannot happen in English, lest we have a fragmented sentence. So I had to stress to always write the subject in English. It seemed to make sense to them. The one male in the class really tried to take the cake, and got really close. In fact, I was impressed at even his attempt at this.

We were discussing the sentence: "I found the ______," and using different nouns to complete it. Then suddenly, he says "Teacher, I have a question." Then he asks me if the following was right: "I found the my friends." He was attempting to use possessive nouns, but he didn't realize that a/the are dropped in this case, but what an effort. He understood the concept, and narrowly missed in application. They are all bright, but he may honestly be the smartest in there, and is bold enough to take giant leaps like this to learn faster. I'm trying not to play favorites, but he may be teacher's pet now.

Just had lunch and now I'm chilling for a while. Did laundry yesterday too, and it was an adventure...to say the least. First off, all they do is wash their clothes, then hang them to dry. And the washing machines have so many knobs, toggles, and buttons that I'm scared to touch anything. I had Joseph help me, and he showed me to just press the power button, and press one other button, and he said that's it.


...what a kidder. I went up there, on the phone with my mom, to take my clothes out to hang them. I found it flashing up a notice, and any attempt to open the washer door was diverted by the fact that it was locked. Suddenly, my clothes are stuck in a perpetual purgatory of being clean and dirty. One of the older women here came and helped me. Any time that it flashes that up, I have to hit the start button again for it to start another cycle. Not sure why it just doesn't start the next cycle automatically, but whatever. Now I know, and knowing is half the battle.

So that attempt at laundry turned into a half-day ordeal, and i wound up hanging up my clothes before bed to dry.

Went to dinner last night with Yoonmi. We headed to Popeye's. Now everyone who knows me knows I can eat my weight in fried chicken, and if you put me near a Popeye's, then it's game over for me. People who don't know me personally at this point might try to guess my ethnicity from these statements, but if we're going by stereotypes, I hate watermelon. Enough said.

When I found out they have Popeye's here in Seoul, I knew I was going to have to go there. And my mom was sufficiently jealous over the fact that I was going. And I was told by a coworker to find out how it is. I think people would be in shock about the differences.

The chicken was great. It was just as spicy and juicy as the American counterpart, and I devoured it. Yoonmi approved. The biscuits were just as good, and fluffy, as the American version. But something didn't sit quite right, like something was missing. I couldn't place my finger on it, OH WAIT...yeah I could.

THEY DON'T SERVE CAJUN RICE OR MASHED POTATOES! I almost gave myself an aneurysm trying to comprehend this, especially the cajun rice part. One of the spiciest things on the Popeye's menu, a staple food of Korean cuisine, and they don't serve it. This is so much of an irony, the Alanis Morisette is probably, right this moment, kicking herself for writing Ironic 16 years too early.

I mean, I can MAYBE understand mashed potatoes. As much as Koreans eat potatoes, I have yet to see mashed potatoes anywhere here. So that could be expected. But the dirty rice not being there? I already feel a headache coming on just talking about it. That's what makes Popeye's! I could eat a gallon of dirty rice by itself, and it's not here.

But what they DID have was "Cajun Salad." I use those words in quotes because it was neither Cajun, nor a salad. It wasn't a salad because it looked like a gelatinous glob of puree vegetables that you would find in Lunchladyland. And it wasn't cajun because it was spicy, at all. Yet another irony in Korea. It tasted more sweet than anything, and sweet isn't Cajun. Cajun is where you put peppers in the mix until you can't fit any more peppers in the mix, then you top it off with hot sauce. THAT'S Cajun. Cajun doesn't taste like a giant sweet potato filled with random veggies. I'm not even from Louisiana and I'm taking offense.

I approved of the food, but once again, it just hurt me in places I don't understand not to be able to have dirty rice at Popeye's, because it just simply didn't exist. To me, it's like bringing Cracker Barrel here, and not including fried okra on the menu.

I digress. We ate, and ate well, then we decided on what to do the rest of the night. Yoonmi was tired, and really didn't want to do something major, or anything with a lot of people. Once again. We were near the Namsangol Hanok village, somewhere we went last year. It was around 8 at night, and they are "closed" on Tuesdays. However, this closed I think just meant they don't do any of the displays they did when we visited last year, because the gates were wide open, and the lights were on, and people were still walking around. So we headed in, and sat near a pond, and just sat there for about 2 hours, talking, and relaxing together. It was so quiet. On occasion, someone would come sit down near us, but for the most part, it was just us sitting there. Absolutely relaxing. We could watch the fish in the pond swimming and jumping out of the water. We were sitting behind a traditional Korean gazebo. Just absolutely beautiful.

After that, I took her home, and then headed home myself, with a can of Pocari and some squid chips.

I really did a lot of backtracking to talk about everything that happened in the last 24 hours, more tonight. A lot more tonight.

Pushing through

Last time I posted was Friday after lunch. Today is Tuesday, just after breakfast. So why the long delay?

Let's just say I've been frustrated. And I'll try to convey what happened in this blog.

So, Friday, after I posted my last entry, Joseph and I went with the phone I was given to activate it at KT. What happened next was the teetering point for this last few days.

We handed the phone over to the associate at KT. Within a split second she says, "No, we can't activate this phone. This is a 2G phone. We are discontinuing 2G service. We can only activate 3G or 4G phones. Maybe if you went to China, could you activate this phone."

Joseph apologized profusely, and said he would start looking for a phone. I went toward a cafe, frustrated. I was excited. I would finally be able to call mom. And I could call Joseph or Durihana if I got lost, or had a question. Or I could hear from Yoonmi without having to loiter around wherever I managed to get an open wifi connection. But nope, I had that snatched out from under me.

When I got to the cafe, I tried logging into their encrypted network using their WPA key, only to have the service NOT work for the first 10-20 minutes. This further served to frustrate me. However, the closer I got to the bar, the better my service was, so I just hung around the free computer, asking around on Facebook and searching Craigslist for a phone. No dice. I started talking to Yoonmi, venting my frustration over the situation. Her response: "Why do you need a phone?"

I explained to her I didn't want one just to have one, but I wanted to hear my mom's voice, etc. etc. Then she stuck her foot in her mouth. I won't go into any further detail, but I got mad. I tried explaining it, but she was busy at work and not responding. So I just stopped trying, and headed back towards Durihana.

When I got back, she was talking to me again, saying she was going to come visit me after church. By that time, I was still angry, and just told her it was her choice whether she comes or not. I know I sounded petulant, but at that point, I was having a hard time not being so.

Church was good. It helped to alleviate my frustration. I was so frustrated that I forgot about eating dinner. I was hungry, but willing to just forego my dinner. However, Pastor Chun apparently wouldn't have it. Without even knowing I hadn't eaten, he asks me to join him for some Ramyeon (Korean style ramen - super spicy). And I did.

It was here that I met the rest of the worship team I would be playing with. I already knew Gwangjin, and some of the singers. I also met Seol, the pianist -- very talented. During worship, she's been the biggest asset to me. Also very friendly, and has invited me to visit her university at some point while I'm here.

I remember when learning, I was taught that bass is the backbone of the worship team. If we mess up, the drummer gets off rhythm, and the whole thing goes out of whack. After eating, we went back upstairs to the sanctuary, and Seol set me up with a copy of the music. Sheet music: something I haven't touched since I was at SIC. Even worse was the fact that it was on a treble clef, I was playing bass, and I forgot how to read the treble clef. However, the guitar chords were listed, so that was a help for me.

However, I still struggled. If I hadn't been following Seol, I would've been lost completely. I got a few songs easily, but a couple, I just couldn't play. Even following Seol wasn't working - the way she played the chords were, for me, making it difficult to hear the root chord. I felt embarrassed to even be up there.

After worship, Pastor Chun had the refugees share about their lives in South Korea. I only had bits and pieces interpreted, but they said that adjusting to here had been difficult. They had faced discrimination amongst South Koreans. Even though they share the same DNA and blood and family history, because they are North Korean, act North Korean, and speak North Korean, they don't fit in to South Koreans' mold for this nation. To put it in perspective, that would be like someone from Texas going to New York to visit family, and being outcasted for speaking too Southern. But even that doesn't do it justice. It's just something you have to be here to understand.

When church ended, I was introduced to two visitors at the church. One was a trader with an Italian firm. The other was a medical researcher at a university here in Seoul. Both wanted to meet with me.

We went up to the office to meet. They all wanted to support me in some way. I was able to tell them about my vision for North Korea, and my desire to help out. They each asked for my e-mail. They wanted to keep in touch with me. The trader wants me to meet him today to meet his colleagues, and says he will e-mail me today. Haven't heard from him yet, but I'm expecting it.

The researcher said he will be praying, and asked me to pray for him too, for his success and that God would be blessed in his work. For some reason, I just felt led to pray for him there. And he reached out his hands for me to pray. Normally, in Korea, you rarely lay hands to pray. But in this moment, I just couldn't restrain myself, and laid hands on him, and prayed. And you could tell it meant everything to him.

When I finished, Joseph was just in awe. He talked about how what I did took him back to college. He said that in college, they used to lay hands all the time, but not anymore. I think it excited him.

After that, I went to Isu station to meet with Yoonmi, for a grand total of 10 minutes. She made (not asked) me to call my mom. I got the voice mail, left a message, and then talked to Yoonmi some. Then it was time for her to go home.

Saturday, I met Yoonmi to go to a wedding. And warp speed, Mr. Zulu, that wedding was over seemingly faster than the opening procession lasts in the states. At the end of it, I recall looking at Yoonmi and saying, "Don't tell me it's already over." I had been in 2-3 hour church services here, and the wedding lasted 20 minutes. Guiness is currently reviewing it for the shortest wedding ever.

After that, we were at a loss for what to do. So, we opted to eat while we decide, and went for Pho (Vietnamese noodles). I had heard good things, and had never been anywhere that I had the luxury of trying it. Yoonmi had constantly proclaimed it as one of her favorite things to eat, and had heavy doses of the stuff when she lived in Hawaii. And after eating it, I understood why. It was quite delicious. I had chicken pho, while Yoonmi opted for seafood, and it was truly a solid decision. Would eat again.

After that, we were still figuring out where to go. A movie was out of the question, nothing good on. I suggested Dream Park, near her apartment, or Itaewon (like she had suggested earlier in the week). She objected, saying she wanted to go someplace quiet. Then I suggested a library, and she thought that was too quiet.

She did a quick search on her phone, and said "We're going to Anguk." I just went with it. Better not to ask questions and just roll with it. I'm glad I didn't.

What I found there was probably the most beautiful area I've ever seen anywhere in the world. I think going there will have left me underwhelmed at any point in my life now. Anguk's main streets have lots of shops, but most of them have a traditional Korean-style architecture instead of the standard buildings nowadays. Once you get off that main street however, that's when things get amazing. It becomes row after row of Korean traditional style houses (with modern conveniences like electricity and running water added). Even with power lines and the sound of construction, you can just walk through this area and feel like you've been transported 100-200 years back in time to the Korea of yesteryear. Then within a split second, you can turn around, and look down a street, and see a landscape of these beautiful traditional houses sprawling across this area, then watch them fade into the Korean cityscape of downtown Seoul, with Namsan peeking up in the background. Never have I seen such a beautiful view in my life.

I will post pictures, but they just don't do it justice. Just absolutely amazing. I could've stayed in Anguk all day.

We went to eat. We were going to eat bulgogi with squid, but couldn't find a place that sells it. Our search took us from Anguk to Insadong -- a familiar place to me from last time. However, even in the familiarity of Insadong, I got an eyefull. On a stage (Where last time I had my picture taken with Korean palace guards), we found traditional performers -- a comedy act and a singing troupe, with accompanyment by Korean traditional instruments. It was quite the sound. I could've honestly listened all day.

As we delved further into Insadong, we found a HUGE commotion in a side street, and went to see what it was. What I found was something just amazing -- Tae Kyun matches. At first glance, I thought it was Tae Kwon Do, but it wasn't. And it is quite different than Tae Kwon Do, sharing more of a resemblance to capoiera than Tae Kwon Do. And despite the focus on kicks and grabs, with no punches, this is one of the most exciting things I've witnessed. I have a video that I will later upload on Youtube to emphasize this, but it was a sight to behold.

Finally we found a place to eat - a bibimbap restaurant. This now holds a place as one of my favorites, so I was more than happy to partake in some bibimbap. Looked at the menu, and found SHRIMP bibimbap. I also found galbi bibimbap, and had to flip a coin between the two. Shrimp won, and shrimp was good. For the first time, I outate Yoonmi.

However, after dinner, Yoonmi and I parted ways. She was tired and still needed to study. We both went home. And this happy day came to an end. Once again I was alone.

Sunday, I felt yet another effect of jetlag, and struggled to stay awake in church. I found myself nodding off several times.

We had lunch at church. After eating, we're supposed to take our dishes back to the sink to be washed, and we scrape off our scraps into a scrap bucket. After I dropped off my dishes, I turned to walk out of the sink area. There was some water where I stepped, and wound up slipping and landing on my left shoulder. Seol (who was washing dishes) turned around to see if I was ok, and I thought I was, just embarrassed.

However, I started walking upstairs, and moving my shoulder around, and it was tight. Still kind of hurts, probably need to go to the pharmacy for some heat wraps soon.

Come closer to church, we practiced some more, and once again, I was screwing up ever so consistently. I was getting REALLY frustrated with myself. Hana (one of the singers) kept trying to help me find my place in the music, but it only served to embarrass me. I appreciated the effort, but the more I tried, the more frustrated I got.

It's been a long time since I've played in church. I usually only practice now when I feel like it. So part of the reason I struggled is my own fault. However, there is one thing I will remember from my bass lessons with Jimmy Tharp. Despite his shortcomings, what he said stuck with me: "When I play bass, this is my weapon against Satan. Every note is like a gunshot to his heart if we are using it to glorify God. So always pray before you play."

And suddenly, that came to me. And while we were praying for the service, I was saying my own prayers to God. I didn't want to embarrass myself, or let the church down. I was torn between sitting down or staying. But I asked God to bless my hands because my brain certainly wasn't processing what I needed to play. It had to be him playing right now, not me.

And that's what happened. I barely screwed up at all during worship service. I attributed it all to God. It's the only way that could happen.

Once again I struggled to stay awake during the sermon for afternoon service. It was good, and the speaker (not Pastor Chun) was anointed. But I was so jetlagged it wasn't even funny.

After church, I went upstairs and took an hour nap. I woke up, and walked around for a while, waiting for Yoonmi to tell me what time to go meet her at Coex. I continued to feel alone. I wanted to talk to people at Durihana, but was so scared to. If their English is limited, they couldn't understand me, and if I said something wrong in Korean, I could really ruin my witness on accident. It was just frustrating. I just sat in the park across the street from Durihana, watching people, and reading the Bible until it was time to leave for Samsung station.

Once I got there, I waited for about 5 minutes for Yoonmi, only to find she was waiting outside of my visibility behind a column. She had already eaten, but wanted me to eat, so we walked around the food court looking for something appetizing. I settled on sushi rolls with cheese in them, and soy sauce soup. Was pretty good. We talked about our church services. I mentioned briefly how I felt. She didn't say much about that.

Since we couldn't eat together, and she had to go home, I decided I would take the train to Miasamgeori to take her home. I walked her to her apartment, then left to catch the bus...the first time I had taken the bus in Korea alone.

The way they announce stops on the buses is different than the subway. When I was here last year, it sounded like pure, unadulterated gibberish to me. Even on the way to her apartment, it sounded the same. When I got on the bus by myself, I was worried I wouldn't hear my station name, that it would just sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. However, my ears just opened (out of necessity) to what was being said, and was able to get to the right station, pick up some manjoo to snack on while I was heading back to Durihana, and subsequently arrive home safely.

Monday was Memorial Day here. A national holiday. And Yoonmi had to work. I didn't. Joseph didn't, so he didn't get to Durihana until later in the day. So that leaves me as the veritable turd in the punch bowl. I couldn't even have my mom call the office, as it was locked up. If I felt alone the other days, I REALLY felt alone Monday. And of course, I had no phone to find out if anyone from Durihana was doing or wanted to do something. I had to fight to even leave my room. I wound up having a worship service in my bedroom floor, just me and God. I started to feel better after that, and went downstairs to practice bass. I also decided to buy a guitar strap, as they had no strap for the bass there. I asked Yoonmi where I could find a music store, and she guessed Insadong. She also told me to meet her at 2PM for lunch in Sinseoldong, where she works. Joseph arrived, and unlocked the office, so I had my mom call.

When she called, the brevity of the distance between us just became evident, and whatever high I experienced during worship plummeted. I vented to her, and she asked if I would talk to Yoonmi about this, and I told her it wouldn't do any good. I soon left to go meet Yoonmi.

I got to Sinseoldong 10 minutes early. Which is fine, I'm early getting anywhere. I bumped into some kids at the subway exit, and they were excited to meet a foreigner and speak English. They were somewhere between 7-9 years old, and really friendly, and spoke English well for little Korean kids. They soon parted, and the joy I experienced talking to them diminished back into the loneliness that I was experiencing.

I looked at my clock, and found an open wifi connection. Noon. I send a message to Yoonmi asking if we were going to meet inside or outside of the exit. No reply. Ask again, no reply. I sit down midway up the stairs, she comes up and nudges me. 15 minutes after we were supposed to meet. In my frustration and loneliness, I grew impatient. I was upset. She asked why I felt bad. I told her it was because I'm white.

We head to lunch, and where she wanted to eat, I couldn't find anything appetizing. She offered to go somewhere else, by then, we had already wasted so much time. This made me more frustrated. I wanted to eat with her and have a good time with her on her lunch break, and I made her not be able to eat, and I was miserable, and I was making her feel bad. She kept apologizing. All of this, unless I say otherwise, was in Korean:

Yoonmi: Sorry.
Me: ....
Yoonmi: Sorry.
Me: Stop.
Yoonmi: Sorry.
Me: Quit doing that!
Yoonmi: What?
Me: Saying you're sorry.
Yoonmi: Why?
Me: I don't want to hear it.
Yoonmi: Why?
Me: Because you're not sorry.
Yoonmi: Really, I'm sorry.
Me: (In English) For what?! Me being American?
Yoonmi: (English) That I had to work.
Me: (English) It's not your fault.
Yoonmi: Are you hungry?
Me: Yeah, but...
Yoonmi: But what?
Me: But you eat. Nothing looks good to me, you should eat.
Yoonmi: What about you?
Me: I'll eat later.
Yoonmi: Corey, please eat.
Me: No, you eat.
Yoonmi: ...
Me: I want to go home.
Yoonmi: To Harrisburg?
Me: Yeah.
Yoonmi: ...

We exit the restaurant, and are standing outside a subway station at this point. A

Yoonmi: What's wrong?
Me: I'm American. That's what's wrong. I'm standing here in Korea, surrounded by Koreans. I feel like a freak of nature. I can't speak Korean. No one speaks English to me. If you or Joseph aren't around me, I'm utterly and totally alone! (by this point I'm yelling, and people are staring, but I'm so frustrated, I don't care)
Yoonmi: I understand...
Me: No! Don't pretend that you understand! You don't know how this feels. Everywhere you've lived, Hawaii, Kyrgyzstan, you've been around Koreans all the time. Even when you went to the Philippines and Uganda, you were with Koreans! The only time you've been around no one who spoke your language was when you came to visit me in November. And I was with you at all times, so you could at least talk with me. So don't you act like you know how this feels, because you don't. I feel like I could scream here, and not a single person would understand me or try to help at all. You don't know how it feels to walk around talking to yourself in a foreign country because there's no one else to talk to you, and you feel like you need to talk to someone.
Yoonmi: But I do. When I was Japan, no one to talk to. No one taught me how to use the trains or buses. Same in Hawaii, at first everyone was busy. I didn't know anyone, so I spent a lot of time alone. I really understand.

And my foot was in my mouth. We headed back to where she had originally wanted to eat. By then, it was too late to eat, and I had turned my stomach into knots during my spiel. I just asked her to pray for me in the restaurant, and she did. And then we both grabbed some coffee, and that's it. That's all we had time for by then. I felt horrible that I made her miss her lunch. But she assured me she had bread to eat at work.

Feeling bad, I walked her back to work, and talked more on the way. On the way, we passed by a large flea market on the streets. I made a note of this mentally. I dropped her off, hugged her, and told her I loved her, and she told me to have a good day. I told her I would try.

I left and headed back towards the flea market. I decided to try to find a guitar strap here, as it would be cheaper than going to Insadong to buy one. And I failed miserably at this task. I crossed the street to go back toward the subway (and wound up on the wrong side, having to cross later). However, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

I walked by another booth at the flea market, of a guy selling nothing but cell phones and cell phone batteries. Sitting on top of this pile of cell phones was a like new touch screen phone, maybe a year or two old at most. I turned it on to find it not only worked perfectly, but had a full battery. I couldn't tell at that point if it was 3G. Only way was to ask.

The shop owner didn't speak English, but a customer beside me did, and translated. It was 3G, in good condition, for 30,000won, about $30. I thought about it strongly, prayed about it, and pulled out a 50,000 note, then just trusted God that he provided a cell phone. Then I headed toward Insadong.

As soon as I got into Insadong, at the first shop I found, it was a music store. I walked in, and as soon as I entered, found guitar straps. One for 15,000, job 2 completed. Walked around for a little bit before heading back, and someone wearing hanbok just randomly hands me a small Korean flag. For some reason, other than finding the strap and the phone, this cheered me up immensely. I then headed back toward Isu.

When I got to Isu, I found Joseph, and showed him the phone, which he confirmed was 3G, which meant I officially had a phone that could be activated! Hallelujah. We ate, then I went upstairs to practice for worship service. Seol was late, so Gwangjin, Hana, the rest of the singers, and myself practiced alongside a CD of the songs we were doing until she did arrive. Then we ran through other songs. Someone else (don't know his name) showed up to play acoustic guitar, and we prayed and were off.

And God just anointed the worship service. It was just powerful. And I no longer fumbled around. I think the combination of my frustration just being gone, and the fact that I prayed and practiced, and even the fact that I was standing up playing (which is how I play best), just allowed for me to play with the enthusiasm I needed to. And it radiated throughout the worship service. Everyone could tell that with me finally clicking with the worship team, that there was a drastic improvement in the dynamic. I would see Gwangjin in song breaks giving me thumbs up, Seol did the same after we finished.

One girl sang a special. Then they asked me to get up and speak with interpretation about how I came to be here. I was able to pour out my heart over this time. Then Joseph got up to lead prayer. This was done harp & bowl style, but I'm not totally sure whether that was planned or not. If it happens again, I'll tell you. All I know is Seol was already at the keyboard playing, then I see Gwangjin moving toward the drums, and I couldn't help but follow suit toward the bass. And Hana moved towards the microphone, and in breaks during prayer she would sing, but we were constantly playing throughout the service.

I could look out in the crowd and see everyone just so enthralled with the prayer and the worship. It was just so strong. Joseph's prayers were just so anointed. I couldn't tell you anything he said at that point, but when you feel it, it doesn't matter what the language was. We must have played for about an hour. It certainly felt like it. But it was amazing.

After service, we went downstairs to rejoice by having a "snack." Or that's what Seol said to me. To be brutally honest, for me, it could've been a meal, as it was a dozen sushi rolls per person. Absolutely perfect way to end the night, and we were all ready to go upstairs to sleep.

I'll tell you that today, I woke up carrying over the feeling from last night. It certainly is an improvement. And now I have a phone. I don't have to loiter around open wifi points just to communicate now.

I'll talk more about today later. But just wanted to give you a long overdue update.

Pictures and video will come soon too. Just praise God, everything went from bad to good.

One more thing...

Leaving in about 8 minutes to go to Kangnam to activate my Korean cell phone, but I wanted to add this. I'm still feeling jetlagged. I've been sleeping normal hours. Like, I fell asleep Wednesday night at 11:30pm, and woke up at 6:30. I was tired halfway through the day. Last night, I slept at 12:30am, woke up at 7:30. Starting to hit the wall again.

Just not fun. Last time, I didn't really feel it at all, so I guess this is the retribution for me not experiencing it in 2010 (until I got home). I don't know how many people have felt it, but it's quite irksome.

I'm asking for prayer in this matter, that I get over this jetlag very quick. And that I find a decent cup of coffee to pep me up today.

Although I'm questioning whether I should push it with the coffee, I had a Pepsi and a refill with breakfast today. But as worn out as I feel now, maybe I should grab a coffee after I get my phone set up.

Day 2: Not much, yet a lot to report.

Sorry for the contradictory title of this post, but this is the honest truth in this one.

The fact was, that I didn't have a class to teach yesterday. So I didn't do a lot but loiter around Durihana and walk around Isu. Lunch was really good. We had rice, squid, potatoes, and this strange spicy stew with hot dogs, spam, and some kind of beef in it. Or I think it was beef, and if it wasn't, it's probably for the best if I think it was. Regardless, it was really good.

Joseph had to go to the DMV (or whatever the equivalent of the DMV is in Korea) to take a written test for his driver's license. He was doing a cram session in studying for it, and came back to the office later, gloating that he passed.

I had massive problems getting a solid connection on my Droid via wifi. Of course, 3G isn't working, since I didn't sign up for roaming (Dear God, I would have to sell body parts to pay that bill), and had my service cut off for the month anyway, so it was a moot point. However, I had kept it in airplane mode. I turned that off, and got better connections. Still have a couple of drops, (and I can't find a good open network hardly anywhere, doubly so in the subway, where I would want to use it) but it's certainly an improvement.

Mostly I just loitered around Durihana and Isu yesterday. It wasn't that much of a bum deal. I got to interact a lot with people in the office. One girl is the same age as me, and is a teacher at the school. I was sitting at my desk, looking at Facebook, when all of a sudden, I thought I heard a bird chriping. Moreover, I thought I heard it IN the office. Where I come from this was cause for concern. However, it hadn't jumped on me, so I dismissed it as me just having no depth perception. (and the fact that the windows were open, it could've been outside) Then I heard it again, and saw something flying up and down behind my cubicle. This got my attention. It happened again. I look up to find said girl tossing a baby Korean magpie up in the air, letting it land on the ground, picking it up, lather, rinse, repeat. She saw my piqued curiosity and explained that she was doing "wing exercise" which to me says she's trying to help it learn to fly.

When Joseph left to take his written test, he left me with another member of the faculty. She was practicing for an English test at her university. She was very nervous about it, and wanted help. Joseph was helping, but had to leave, and he set me up with her to work. Which I REALLY appreciated, I am here to teach English. And I will help anyone who asks, faculty, students, anyone. She was studying present progressive and future tenses, and was needing to come up with questions and answers for a verbal test. I was able to help, and when she left, she was nervous. When she came back, she had passed!

Went downstairs. Durihana also runs a second-hand clothing store next door, which the refugees work at. They were sitting around playing an acoustic guitar. One of the women grabbed the guitar, and played an amazing rendition of Arirang. I was very impressed.

Later, I was able to play bass with the drummer I was talking about. They told me they have no bassist in their worship team, and would like me to play worship during church services while I'm here.

After that was dinner. We had Chinese food, which was explained to me, but I already knew because they were serving egg drop soup. Once again, really good. Then shortly after, Joseph invited me to go with him to Dongdaemun, the largest clothing marketplace in Korea.

It was at this time I vowed I would never shop at Myeongdong again. The prices were drastically lower in Dongdaemun. I felt fleeced. Let me just interject, that if you go shopping with a Korean, they will want you to update your wardrobe. I set out mainly to buy a good pair of jeans, which I did for only 25,000 won. Joseph approved, but then insisted I also purchase a new pair of shoes to compliment them. This wasn't what I was planning on, but we went shoe shopping anyway, where I found decent pair of shoes for 20,000 won. I was looking at other shoes, but Joseph picked out ones that he felt complimented my new pair of pants. I agreed they looked go, so how could I object. Plink down the money, and there we go. He wanted me to go with a new shirt as well, but he wanted to buy scarves for his friend in New Zealand. By the time we finished there, we were both tired, and headed back.

We got to talk a lot. About our lives, and our goals, and our desire for missions and our hearts for North Korea. We talked about my fiance, and everything under the sun and got to really get to know each other. I can say without question I'm blessed to be here, and to have good people surrounding me.

While we were talking on the subway, an older man came up to us, tapped on my shoulder and just said, "Christian?" We had been talking in English, so I don't know if he understood hardly anything we were saying. But apparently, our conduct and our lives were reflective enough of our faith that we caught someone's eye that we were, in fact Christians. It was quite amazing.

I'm about ready to go to class, so I will probably write more, or at least try to post up some pictures soonafter.

The rest of yesterday.

So shortly after I posted my previous entry, lunch time came. Which was good, I was quite hungry.

I came down to eat, to find this:

This literally says, "Welcome, brother Corey." I was taken aback. I feel so at home here, and they have strived to make every effort to make me feel welcome.

And here is lunch:

We had rice, seaweed, potatoes, chicken, and some kind of soup. All of it spicy, all of it delicious. Anyone worried about me eating here should just stop. I'll probably leave here 20 pounds heavier.

After lunch, I had about 50 minutes to prepare for class. I wasn't sure about what would happen that day, whether they would expect me to jump in that day or not. Turns out they did, and I came to work. I was exhausted, but it was almost expected I figure out what to do with my class period. And in a matter of 40 minutes.

Of course, I had no clue where to start. I had no clue of the proficiency level of any of my students, and hadn't even really met them yet. So I figured, what better way to start than to gauge their levels of language proficiency?

And that's exactly what I did. It's a very small class, only 5 students, myself, and Joseph to help me explain more complex sentences.

When I started with figuring out where they were in English studies, I wasn't sure what to expect. Would they know nothing or have a strong foundation to build off of? I asked what they knew and what they wanted to learn. They (especially the girls, of which are the majority) were very timid at first. However, that quickly changed.

They all mirrored the same sentiments when I asked those questions: They have been learning basic grammar and vocabulary, but want to learn how to speak and listen well. That's when I decided to really dig in and see where we stood in terms of English skills, and precisely what nuances I needed to hit on. And at this point, I really thanked God that I had been studying Korean, because I felt like, more than even conversations and getting by over here, my Korean came into play perfectly for this scenario.

I began writing Korean phrases (nothing complex) on the chalkboard, and asked them to translate it into English for me. Nothing too complex. Things that you would pretty much teach in any ESL class within probably week one or two. I started with "My name is..." and they quickly got it. I began really challenging them, with past tense words, future tense words. This was where they started to struggle. However, they were getting the basic understanding of the sentence. Joseph asked me to quote a verse from the Bible in Korean, and see if they could translate it. I started with the literal beginning, and put up Genesis 1:1. This was really when they stepped it up, and the one guy in the class, who gave me his English name, David, translated it nearly perfectly, only saying "the world" instead of "the heavens and the earth," at the end. To his defense though, that is pretty much how it translates into Korean to begin with, so I had to take that answer.

What started out as a really timid group of students turned excited in no time flat during this exercise. The girls were really excited, as was David, and I was just as excited. They struggle with sentence structure, tenses, and spelling. Plus, as I do with Korean, their vocabulary range is limited. But, what I saw wasn't just what they didn't know, but I saw what they did know, and their desire to learn more, and their excitement to learn. You just don't see that often. Not a single one of them seemed bored. On top of that, as I spoke, the girls frequently tried to mimic what I said. That's when I realized how quickly they're absorbing English, and trying to apply it and learn proper pronunciation. Absolutely amazing.

Today, my intentions are to go through a listening exercise. I remember when I took Spanish in High School, my first class period in that class consisted of a listening exercise, and that laid the groundwork for the entire class. Proper listening comprehension, in my opinion, is crucial. If you can get them to start hearing the individual words and not just "blah blah blah," then their confidence takes a huge leap in the right direction.

What I intend on doing is giving out a list of basic commands. This was how it was done in my class so many years ago. I remember at first, being completely flabbergasted and overwhelmed by hearing these commands. Once we started to understand them, then yes, it does provide confidence. These commands won't be difficult. Things like, "Open the door/Turn off the lights/Stand up/Pick up a pen/Touch your nose/Look at the window" will be used. Of course, we can't really help them in this. They can get help amongst themselves, but myself and Joseph need to be conscientious observers in this matter, while I continue to make the commands. I'm expecting some initial bewilderment, but that they will catch on.

So, last night, I went to Myeongdong to meet Yoonmi. We decided to eat Indian curry last night. It was my first time with the cuisine, and after doing so, I knew it wouldn't be the last. Just amazing food, I've missed out.

I also gave her some gifts. I of course, wanted to bless her. My mom also sent her a gift. She was pleased with all of it!

We had to call it an early night, and parted ways around 10-10:30. I was so jetlagged still. By around 3PM, I hit a wall where I felt like a zombie. I took a 45 minute nap, and felt a little recharged. However, by the time Yoonmi and I were about to split up to head home, I was completely drained again, to the point where I almost fell asleep on the train STANDING UP. Yeah, that's when you know you're zonked. Fell asleep about 11:30, and woke up at 6:30. Not bad. I'm feeling quite well today. Went out to buy some new ink pens (lost mine), and got a nice walk out of it. Sushi rolls and rice dumplings for breakfast this morning. Not a bad way to start off the day. Then to top it off, the faculty at Durihana has a daily prayer meeting and Bible study. They want me to jump in with them. Today we read 1 John 4 (That's bringing back some memories, Mike). I also learned that they have a memory verse every week. On Friday, they check it, and if you haven't memorized it, you pay 1000won for missing it. I'm exempt this week, but I have to be on my heels next week. I don't want to lose my moneys!

This is going to be a great month. More to come.