As many may remember, in May I got a BS Traffic Ticket. I fought this all the way through court, but the cop literally lied about the entire situation, I told my side of the story, and, the court ruled against me. I had to pay my $150 traffic ticket from running a yellow light.
Naturally, I wasn't happy. Nay, I was pissed. I've been putting this off all month (my court date was Sept. 26th). Today, I had to go do it, because I wouldn't have time to any other day.
I went to the ATM machine, and got out the $150 to pay the ticket. I was about to head to the courthouse when I saw an Italian restaurant across the street from my bank, and realized I was hungry. So I stop in for some crappy chicken alfredo and a Pepsi.
While I was there, I began thinking. Naturally, I'm going to hate walking in there and paying the ticket. I then decided that I could either go in there with a sour look on my face and pay the thing, or I can go in there with a smile on my face, pay the thing, get a little vindication and stress relief, no matter how miniscule, and leave laughing my rear end off. That's when it hit me.
After I polished off the chicken alfredo, I went back across the street to my bank with my 7 $20 bills and 1 $10 bill, and walked into the office. Yes, I think you're catching on.
Teller: "How may I help you today?"
Hanguk: "I have $150 here. Can you exchange these big bills for $1 bills?"
Teller: "....sure."
She comes back 3 minutes later with 3 $50 wraps of singles. I head out of there, get into my car, unwrap the singles, and stick the entire wad into my pocket. NOW I'm on my way to the courthouse.
I get up to the clerks office, who takes my case number, then tells me that the cost is $150.
Hanguk: "No problem." *Slam wad of singles onto the counter*
Clerk: "............................................... *look of shock and despair on her face* WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!"
On the fly, I make up this BS story about how my band played a benefit concert to pay off my ticket at a cost of $3 per person, and we got enough to pay it off.
She then asks why I didn't exchange it at the bank.
...Well, who wants to take a big wad of cash to a bank, where those nasty robbers would be standing outside to take that wad? I figure a courthouse is MUCH safer.
She's still got that "OMGWTFBBQBARBARASTREISAND!!!1111oneoneniner!" look on her face, as she starts trying to count this wad of money. I think she forgot how, because she started counting, then started over, then started over, THEN CALLS FOR ANOTHER CLERK IN A DIFFERENT OFFICE TO COME OVER TO HELP.
While the other clerk is on her way there, she says, and I quote: "Unbelievable. I had JUST went to the bank to get $1 bills." By this point, I am now trying to hold back my laughter, because this is just too much.
The second clerk walks over, sees the wad of ones, and gets the same "OMGWTFBBQBARBARASTREISAND!!!1111oneoneniner!" look on her face, which worsens as she's told the story. They then start counting this wad of cash, and I'm dead serious, neither one of them can get over the fact that I'm paying a $150 traffic ticket in nothing but singles. They finally get up to about $50 and say, "I think we're going to come up with one-fifty," prints off my receipt, and tells me to go home and have a nice day.
That I will. It's been about 20 minutes now, and I bet they're still counting it.
Pwned? Yeah, I think so.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Reckless Abandon
Song I wrote in February. It rings especially true over this last week or so:
(Verse 1)
I've listened to you enough
Now it's your turn not to speak
I've heard everything you have to say
Around this time last week
I'm sick of every statement
That will come through your mouth
I could say some unnecessary things
But we won't go that route
I just feel it's high time
That what I feel is said
Before I start becoming
Even more messed up in the head
So I'll pour every ounce of hate
Into every word I say
Just so you might get an idea
Of exactly how I feel today
And hopefully to God
This gets through your thick skull
So I can start to move
And make all of these thoughts null
(Chorus)
I don't need your empty promises
Or your heavy handed words
I don't need your selfishness
Or your fakey fake love
I don't need your excuses
When you fall off the wagon
All I need is to put you behind me
With reckless abandon
(Verse 2)
I don't need any more reasons
To cast you aside
Because I have my reasons
To move on with my life
And this life I talk about
Is one without you in it
Just to clarify
That means we're through, we're finished
I know I can forgive
But I sure can't forget
So I'll forgive, but never give you a chance
To make my time with you my regret
And this solution isn't temporary
It's every part of permanent
So look at me one last time
And always remember this
Repeat (Chorus)
(Bridge)
I don't want to remember you
Just go away
And maybe I won't have to
It's time to push you away
I don't need to be near you
You're no good for me
And I'm glad that you
Will no longer be a part of me
Repeat (Chorus)
(Verse 1)
I've listened to you enough
Now it's your turn not to speak
I've heard everything you have to say
Around this time last week
I'm sick of every statement
That will come through your mouth
I could say some unnecessary things
But we won't go that route
I just feel it's high time
That what I feel is said
Before I start becoming
Even more messed up in the head
So I'll pour every ounce of hate
Into every word I say
Just so you might get an idea
Of exactly how I feel today
And hopefully to God
This gets through your thick skull
So I can start to move
And make all of these thoughts null
(Chorus)
I don't need your empty promises
Or your heavy handed words
I don't need your selfishness
Or your fakey fake love
I don't need your excuses
When you fall off the wagon
All I need is to put you behind me
With reckless abandon
(Verse 2)
I don't need any more reasons
To cast you aside
Because I have my reasons
To move on with my life
And this life I talk about
Is one without you in it
Just to clarify
That means we're through, we're finished
I know I can forgive
But I sure can't forget
So I'll forgive, but never give you a chance
To make my time with you my regret
And this solution isn't temporary
It's every part of permanent
So look at me one last time
And always remember this
Repeat (Chorus)
(Bridge)
I don't want to remember you
Just go away
And maybe I won't have to
It's time to push you away
I don't need to be near you
You're no good for me
And I'm glad that you
Will no longer be a part of me
Repeat (Chorus)
Friday, October 20, 2006
Me = Unstoppable
I haven't had the sinister urge to burn my time playing non-stop poker this week. I didn't play at all Tuesday or Wednesday, I was too mopey Tuesday, and Wednesday, I felt like I got ran over. Today, I didn't feel all too well either, but I decided to play. I also played Monday, let's go ahead and start with Monday:
Monday: I played my usual Razz tournament, which got bumped from a $11 buy-in to a $22 buy-in, with the time now being pushed back an extra 15 minutes. Weird. I had a great table draw full of idiots who had no idea how to play Razz, and couldn't get the cards to take advantage of it. Out before first break.
Undeterred, I took a shower and signed up for the $5.50 HORSE tournament. Final tabled that, and finished in 3rd for $67.
I then played the $26 $20,000 Guarantee, and was out in the first hour of that.
I then played 1-2 Razz cash games, and only wound up profiting a nickel. Wheee.
Today: I started off in 2-4 Razz, and wound up playing a short session, profiting $30. I then played the $5.50 HORSE tourney again, and final tabled that again. AGAIN, I get 3rd, this time for about $78. I then played the $26 $2,000 Guarantee Razz tournament, and final tabled that. On top of that, it started before I even cashed in the HORSE tournament, so here's me trying not to fry my brain playing Stud High in HORSE, and Razz in...Razz. I did a decent job of that, but ran completely card dead at the start of the Razz tournament. Four handed in the HORSE tournament, I tripled up in the Razz tournament.
After I busted in HORSE, my focus went on the Razz tourney, all the while, I haven't peed in over two hours, and my bladder is full. So, I keep battling with my full bladder, and final table YET AGAIN! I played incredible, but lost heads up to the poker equivalent of Screech from Saved by the Bell, and netted $450 in that. For a grand total of being up over $500 today.
Does anyone wanna mess with me? I don't think so!
Monday: I played my usual Razz tournament, which got bumped from a $11 buy-in to a $22 buy-in, with the time now being pushed back an extra 15 minutes. Weird. I had a great table draw full of idiots who had no idea how to play Razz, and couldn't get the cards to take advantage of it. Out before first break.
Undeterred, I took a shower and signed up for the $5.50 HORSE tournament. Final tabled that, and finished in 3rd for $67.
I then played the $26 $20,000 Guarantee, and was out in the first hour of that.
I then played 1-2 Razz cash games, and only wound up profiting a nickel. Wheee.
Today: I started off in 2-4 Razz, and wound up playing a short session, profiting $30. I then played the $5.50 HORSE tourney again, and final tabled that again. AGAIN, I get 3rd, this time for about $78. I then played the $26 $2,000 Guarantee Razz tournament, and final tabled that. On top of that, it started before I even cashed in the HORSE tournament, so here's me trying not to fry my brain playing Stud High in HORSE, and Razz in...Razz. I did a decent job of that, but ran completely card dead at the start of the Razz tournament. Four handed in the HORSE tournament, I tripled up in the Razz tournament.
After I busted in HORSE, my focus went on the Razz tourney, all the while, I haven't peed in over two hours, and my bladder is full. So, I keep battling with my full bladder, and final table YET AGAIN! I played incredible, but lost heads up to the poker equivalent of Screech from Saved by the Bell, and netted $450 in that. For a grand total of being up over $500 today.
Does anyone wanna mess with me? I don't think so!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
The Grey Room
Here's what happened to me recently, the title will make sense in a minute:
I have been doing really good in poker lately. However, life keeps throwing me curve
after curve, none of which I can handle right now. For instance, my mom pretty much just
disowned me this week, telling me that her relationship with her new husband, who I
refuse to grace with the title of "Stepdad," is worth enough to pretty much destroy her
relationship with me, which has been around, oh, 22 years longer. She's called me an
embarrassment, and when told that I wanted to go back and finish college, told me I failed
previously, and I will fail now too. And that because I was such a failure, no school would
accept me, and I would be able to get no scholarships or grants. How's that for encouragement?
On top of that, I now have a contusion on my right tendon that I have a hard time putting
weight on my right leg at all, which is compounded by the fact that I STILL have to go to work,
and now, contend with customers calling me gimp and cripple at work.
Last Thursday, I almost committed suicide. It took a collection of 11 friends to talk me out of it.
Things have been starting to look up. I started on my way up to being more optimistic Saturday on, but, unfortunately, come Tuesday, that hit a wall. During a slow moment at work, just when I thought I was starting to put things behind me, everything started showing up in my mind, and just hammering. When I finally got back to the break room, I had my head in my arms, crying. It's just been that hard. They sent me home after break.
I got home, ate, and took a nap. I then had this dream:
It's pretty much an absolute of what's been going on in my life this last week or so. Everyone's looking down on me, and I just keep getting hammered from every angle. I found a college that would accept me, but I didn't have enough funds to pay my way through, and couldn't find grants or scholarships to get me through. Also throw into the mix that I was running bad in poker, with everything else going on, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I had made up my mind, 100%. I was going to put a bullet in my head.
I wound up in this grey room. The floor and the ceiling were both grey. The walls, I couldn't see, because it was dimly lit in the room, with only a small light hanging from a wire from the center of the room. The light coming from this bulb formed a perfect circle, and within this circle of light, was a circle of boxes, one of which I knew for certain held a gun. And that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to end this pain.
I got down on my knees, and started looking through these boxes, about 20 or 30 boxes in this circle, trying to find the gun. But every box I opened had pieces of paper in the tops of them. I wound up pulling one out, and reading it. It was a message of encouragement for me. But then I looked at the box again. This note of encouragement concealed a box full of hundred dollar bills. I can't count how many were in this box. I kept opening boxes, and reading the notes, some from people I know, and pictured as I was reading each note, thinking, "Wow. They actually do care?! I thought they could've cared less;" some came from people I don't know. Some boxes didn't contain money, but all contained words of encouragement for me.
As I kept opening these boxes, the light in the room started to grow brighter and brighter, meanwhile, I'm reading these notes and counting the money, and figuring I almost have enough money for my first semester back to school. Then my alarm goes off, and I awake from the dream.
I know a lot of people that know me wouldn't be able to guess it by the way I've acted lately, but I used to be very religious. I fell away from God and anything even keeping me grounded 2 years ago. I've been off and on since, but since this last week hammered me, I've been trying to get back to where to Jesus at the core of it all. Granted, it's an uphill battle, one compounded by my current situation, but one that I'm optimistic will finally start to bring me back to what I really need. Call it fanatical, call it stupid, call it blind, and you may be right. But it brings me joy. Even through all this, I'm starting to see the joy again. And that's good enough.
But even still, this whole situation will not stop rearing my ugly head. And as much as I tell myself I'm not worthless, and I'm not a failure, and that God has a purpose for me, when your own mother speaks stuff like that over you, it hurts you so deep you can't even begin to rebound. I didn't come home thinking about suicide, the thought never crossed my mind. But as much as I knew things were going to look up soon, it still looks dim from here.
That dream, I believe, was a sign from God, that tells me, "It's dim, but not hopeless. People still care, and people still believe you are going to succeed. Do not give up, because your prayers will be answered, your needs will be met, and your life will get better."
And I'm not giving up. Not now.
I have been doing really good in poker lately. However, life keeps throwing me curve
after curve, none of which I can handle right now. For instance, my mom pretty much just
disowned me this week, telling me that her relationship with her new husband, who I
refuse to grace with the title of "Stepdad," is worth enough to pretty much destroy her
relationship with me, which has been around, oh, 22 years longer. She's called me an
embarrassment, and when told that I wanted to go back and finish college, told me I failed
previously, and I will fail now too. And that because I was such a failure, no school would
accept me, and I would be able to get no scholarships or grants. How's that for encouragement?
On top of that, I now have a contusion on my right tendon that I have a hard time putting
weight on my right leg at all, which is compounded by the fact that I STILL have to go to work,
and now, contend with customers calling me gimp and cripple at work.
Last Thursday, I almost committed suicide. It took a collection of 11 friends to talk me out of it.
Things have been starting to look up. I started on my way up to being more optimistic Saturday on, but, unfortunately, come Tuesday, that hit a wall. During a slow moment at work, just when I thought I was starting to put things behind me, everything started showing up in my mind, and just hammering. When I finally got back to the break room, I had my head in my arms, crying. It's just been that hard. They sent me home after break.
I got home, ate, and took a nap. I then had this dream:
It's pretty much an absolute of what's been going on in my life this last week or so. Everyone's looking down on me, and I just keep getting hammered from every angle. I found a college that would accept me, but I didn't have enough funds to pay my way through, and couldn't find grants or scholarships to get me through. Also throw into the mix that I was running bad in poker, with everything else going on, and I just couldn't do it anymore. I had made up my mind, 100%. I was going to put a bullet in my head.
I wound up in this grey room. The floor and the ceiling were both grey. The walls, I couldn't see, because it was dimly lit in the room, with only a small light hanging from a wire from the center of the room. The light coming from this bulb formed a perfect circle, and within this circle of light, was a circle of boxes, one of which I knew for certain held a gun. And that's exactly what I wanted. I wanted to end this pain.
I got down on my knees, and started looking through these boxes, about 20 or 30 boxes in this circle, trying to find the gun. But every box I opened had pieces of paper in the tops of them. I wound up pulling one out, and reading it. It was a message of encouragement for me. But then I looked at the box again. This note of encouragement concealed a box full of hundred dollar bills. I can't count how many were in this box. I kept opening boxes, and reading the notes, some from people I know, and pictured as I was reading each note, thinking, "Wow. They actually do care?! I thought they could've cared less;" some came from people I don't know. Some boxes didn't contain money, but all contained words of encouragement for me.
As I kept opening these boxes, the light in the room started to grow brighter and brighter, meanwhile, I'm reading these notes and counting the money, and figuring I almost have enough money for my first semester back to school. Then my alarm goes off, and I awake from the dream.
I know a lot of people that know me wouldn't be able to guess it by the way I've acted lately, but I used to be very religious. I fell away from God and anything even keeping me grounded 2 years ago. I've been off and on since, but since this last week hammered me, I've been trying to get back to where to Jesus at the core of it all. Granted, it's an uphill battle, one compounded by my current situation, but one that I'm optimistic will finally start to bring me back to what I really need. Call it fanatical, call it stupid, call it blind, and you may be right. But it brings me joy. Even through all this, I'm starting to see the joy again. And that's good enough.
But even still, this whole situation will not stop rearing my ugly head. And as much as I tell myself I'm not worthless, and I'm not a failure, and that God has a purpose for me, when your own mother speaks stuff like that over you, it hurts you so deep you can't even begin to rebound. I didn't come home thinking about suicide, the thought never crossed my mind. But as much as I knew things were going to look up soon, it still looks dim from here.
That dream, I believe, was a sign from God, that tells me, "It's dim, but not hopeless. People still care, and people still believe you are going to succeed. Do not give up, because your prayers will be answered, your needs will be met, and your life will get better."
And I'm not giving up. Not now.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
My lyrics game - Answers
Come on you guys. You disgraced me! No one responded.
I'm guess I'm not cool enough. I feel emo, I'm going to go cut myself.
But before I do that, here are the answers:
1. "Sincerely, Ichabod" by Project 86
2. "Monday in Vegas" by Lucerin Blue
3. "Threshold" by Stavesacre
4. "A Thought Crushed My Mind" by Blindside
5. "My December" by Linkin Park
6. "Do Not" by John Reuben
7. "Seeing Red" by Unwritten Law
8. "Privelege" by Incubus
9. "Combat Chuck" by Five Iron Frenzy
10. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
11. "Blind" by Korn
12. "Adam's Song" by Blink-182
13. "Intergalactic" by Beastie Boys
14. "Draw the Line" by P.O.D.
15. "Downfall" by TRUSTcompany
16. "Everything Changes" by Staind
17. "Back in Black" by AC/DC
18. "These Days" by Alien Ant Farm
19. "Kenji" by Fort Minor
20. "Bounce Back" by Stacie Orrico
21. "Going Under" by Evanescence
22. "Rearranged" by Limp Bizkit
23. "Neither Rain, Nor Sleet" by Right-Hand Man
24. "Awake" by Godsmack
25. "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
By the way, I'm not going to go cut myself. I'm just going to go enjoy the X-Box 360 I bought for the winner AND the cookie I bought for them too. MMMMMMMM...Chocolate Chip...
I'm guess I'm not cool enough. I feel emo, I'm going to go cut myself.
But before I do that, here are the answers:
1. "Sincerely, Ichabod" by Project 86
2. "Monday in Vegas" by Lucerin Blue
3. "Threshold" by Stavesacre
4. "A Thought Crushed My Mind" by Blindside
5. "My December" by Linkin Park
6. "Do Not" by John Reuben
7. "Seeing Red" by Unwritten Law
8. "Privelege" by Incubus
9. "Combat Chuck" by Five Iron Frenzy
10. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
11. "Blind" by Korn
12. "Adam's Song" by Blink-182
13. "Intergalactic" by Beastie Boys
14. "Draw the Line" by P.O.D.
15. "Downfall" by TRUSTcompany
16. "Everything Changes" by Staind
17. "Back in Black" by AC/DC
18. "These Days" by Alien Ant Farm
19. "Kenji" by Fort Minor
20. "Bounce Back" by Stacie Orrico
21. "Going Under" by Evanescence
22. "Rearranged" by Limp Bizkit
23. "Neither Rain, Nor Sleet" by Right-Hand Man
24. "Awake" by Godsmack
25. "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
By the way, I'm not going to go cut myself. I'm just going to go enjoy the X-Box 360 I bought for the winner AND the cookie I bought for them too. MMMMMMMM...Chocolate Chip...
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