My first week out of Tank was very interesting, to say the least. Some of it can be contributed to the fact that I still was going into calls blind, and how no clue for the most part, what I was doing. However, I can state for a fact that most of it was due to the following call.
You would think that having lived in Southern Illinois my whole life would have desensitized me to redneck activity. However, in all my days of living there, never has anyone fallen under the redneck stereotype in my opinion more than this caller: a women living with her mother and her three children in North Carolina.
Thick Southern accent aside, every statement that came out of her mouth drove the stereotype further and further home for me. After she explained that she couldn't get online, she then accused her Momma of doing it: "She knows nothin bout them computers. All she does is play them there online games. I went and done got some computer learnin books at the Wal-Mart for her, and she went mad and said, 'I don't need them there learnin books to learn how to use that dern computer; all I want to do is play my online games.' She loves them there online games..."
I'll take Infamous Grammar Police Raids for $1000, Alex.
As I'm begin to ask her about her equipment so that I can start helping her fix this, I hear her scream into the other room, to her kids, the following statement: "THEM AIN'T LICE!"
If there was a moment where I thought I could not be hearing what I thought I was hearing, and just didn't want to ask if I WAS hearing what I thought I was hearing, this was it. However, she felt the necessity to clarify that she said exactly what I thought I heard, and WHY SHE SAID IT:
"Those damned kids in there were picking at that there dog we have, and thought it had lice. They love lice."
I wish to GOD I was not making that last sentence up. She said that, and if I'm lying, I'm dying.
By this time, I have her on mute laughing at her, taking breathers, and help her fix her connection. I figured this was the worst this call could possibly get. But just when I assumed that, she proved that she could continue to shock and amaze.
I took her into her modem's setup page to type in her user ID and a temporary password. The user ID, which she doesn't know, because it's different than her username, ends in Zero. You know, 0. I even told her as I gave her the password, "The number Zero."
Well, when I tried to take her to Verizon's homepage to change her password, it gave us an error. So, I had to go back into the modem to confirm what I already knew: she typed the user ID in wrong. I have her read back the user ID to me, and that Zero has magically changed into an O. Which, it's an honest mistake, people do it all the time. However, what was then said between us, is NOT an honest mistake.
Me: Ma'am, that last character is a Zero, not an O.
Her: Oh, you mean the NUMBER Zero!
Me: ..................Yes. As opposed to the NEW alphabet that's going around where the letter C is now written as 758349, this is a numerical Zero.
If the South would've won...
You would think that having lived in Southern Illinois my whole life would have desensitized me to redneck activity. However, in all my days of living there, never has anyone fallen under the redneck stereotype in my opinion more than this caller: a women living with her mother and her three children in North Carolina.
Thick Southern accent aside, every statement that came out of her mouth drove the stereotype further and further home for me. After she explained that she couldn't get online, she then accused her Momma of doing it: "She knows nothin bout them computers. All she does is play them there online games. I went and done got some computer learnin books at the Wal-Mart for her, and she went mad and said, 'I don't need them there learnin books to learn how to use that dern computer; all I want to do is play my online games.' She loves them there online games..."
I'll take Infamous Grammar Police Raids for $1000, Alex.
As I'm begin to ask her about her equipment so that I can start helping her fix this, I hear her scream into the other room, to her kids, the following statement: "THEM AIN'T LICE!"
If there was a moment where I thought I could not be hearing what I thought I was hearing, and just didn't want to ask if I WAS hearing what I thought I was hearing, this was it. However, she felt the necessity to clarify that she said exactly what I thought I heard, and WHY SHE SAID IT:
"Those damned kids in there were picking at that there dog we have, and thought it had lice. They love lice."
I wish to GOD I was not making that last sentence up. She said that, and if I'm lying, I'm dying.
By this time, I have her on mute laughing at her, taking breathers, and help her fix her connection. I figured this was the worst this call could possibly get. But just when I assumed that, she proved that she could continue to shock and amaze.
I took her into her modem's setup page to type in her user ID and a temporary password. The user ID, which she doesn't know, because it's different than her username, ends in Zero. You know, 0. I even told her as I gave her the password, "The number Zero."
Well, when I tried to take her to Verizon's homepage to change her password, it gave us an error. So, I had to go back into the modem to confirm what I already knew: she typed the user ID in wrong. I have her read back the user ID to me, and that Zero has magically changed into an O. Which, it's an honest mistake, people do it all the time. However, what was then said between us, is NOT an honest mistake.
Me: Ma'am, that last character is a Zero, not an O.
Her: Oh, you mean the NUMBER Zero!
Me: ..................Yes. As opposed to the NEW alphabet that's going around where the letter C is now written as 758349, this is a numerical Zero.
If the South would've won...
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