Pranks gone terribly awry, but still funny as crap

Originally posted on FCP in May 2006. Also of note, this was at 2 AM.

So, I had a friend pick me up at work tonight, because my car's out of commission right now. As I'm getting out the doors, I see his car, sitting in front of the doors with the lights on, but I look, and he's reclined the seat, and he's asleep. Here it, in the wee hours of the morning, raining outside... And then the thoughts entered my mind. My conscience is fighting them off, screaming, "NO! HE'S GONNA KILL YOU! DON'T DO IT!"

As I approach the car, I move slowly around to the driver's side so as not to wake him. As I cross to the driver's side, I slowly creep up to the hood. I then JUMP on top of the hood, and splat my face across the windshield screaming as if he just ran over me with the car.

He bounces up out of the seat, screaming like a five-year-old girl, and his arms are flailing around the car in God knows what directions, all the while he is hopping ON HIS BUTT UP THE RECLINED SEAT. Then he realizes it's me, and the look of sheer anger pull across his face as he screams, "GET IN THE CAR DOUCHEBAG!"

Now my conscience is screaming, "I TOLD YOU, NUMBNUTS! BUT YOU JUST HAD TO PULL A FUNNY!"

And apparently, my shut up filter wasn't on, because as soon as I got in the car, I said, "I suppose this isn't the best time to tell you I need to go to Wal-Mart? I'm out of shampoo."

Any time after that, the only words out of his mouth was "SCREW YOU!"

So yeah, I felt bad. And it was seriously wrong. But oh my God, was it funny. I was laughing so hard on the way home that tears were streaming down my face.

By the way, he never took me to Wal-Mart. So I just "borrowed" his car and got my friggin shampoo.