So, every time I call Linksys (which is once every week it seems like now), they send me another damn survey to fill out. I refused to fill them out.
I ultimately have had it, and when the opportunity arose again, I decided to fill them out.
After giving them poor marks across the board, they give me a spot where I can type. The subject:
What can we do to improve your experience with Linksys?
You insolent fools.
So here's what I wrote:
First: Stop outsourcing to India. Second: Stop making your routers out of plastic and duct tape.
Your products are horrible. I don't know how your technical support could get any worse than the products you sell, but you succeeded in doing that. If that was your goal for the fiscal year, congratulations!
Your agents, in the 30 times that I have called Linksys or used your Live Chat in the past year, has yet to fix any of my problems. Here is usually how my Linksys router or wireless NIC has began working again:
A) It just magically starts working again (yes, this has happened
B) I finally figure out the problem while waiting TWO HOURS to get in contact with your representatives.
C) I'm on the phone with Linksys, and while they're in the process of trying to "fix my router" (by "fix my router," I do mean "screw it up worse"), I say, "I'm going to try this..." They then talk over me, start running me through needless troubleshooting steps that I told them I had already went through before I called them. I do what I suggested I do anyway, and it fixes the problem. Your representatives then claim that what they had me do fixed the problem, when the troubleshooting steps are completely irrelevant to the problem itself.
D) Linksys does succeed in "fixing my router" (once again, I mean "screw it up worse"), I have to go into either Yahoo! Chat or IRC Chat, and have them help me undo what Linksys did, and then fix my original problem. This process takes 30 seconds. I kid you not.
Today, I called, and, frustrated with the way your support agents handles things, immediately ask for a supervisor. I'm in Technical Support. I know you cannot deny a person a supervisor if they ask for one. Guess what? You're geniuses of technical support denied me a supervisor.
I don't know how you train your frontline agents, but if we were to do the things even once that your agents do regularly, we would be fired on the spot. They would take our badges, and walk us straight out of our call center's doors, and we would not be allowed back in.
Unfortunately, that is apparently not the case in India, where it seems that to be in Technical Support, all you have to do is be able to read the word, "The." If you can, you're hired, and get the pleasant opportunity of working for lower-caste slave-wages, and confuse the hell out of us people who are just trying to get our routers fixed and get on with our lives. Unfortunately, that's never possible with you. As 75% of the phone conversations with Linksys have to do with the weather in America. Like whether it's Spring or Summer in America is going to fix my router. If I want to chit-chat with someone, I'll call a friend or 1-900-SPANK-ME.
And then, at the end of call, after you either destroy my router or I fix it behind your backs, your agents have the audacity to actually tell me to spread the word about how good your products is. That'll happen about the time I get in the sack with Elton John. And seeing how I'm not gay, I guess that's not going to happen.
At work, 100% of my calls on Belkin and D-Link routers are for first-time router users that just need their modems bridged and didn't know it. 80% of the time, the reason I transfer them to above companies is because I can't go into those routers myself, because they are out of my support boundaries.
40% of my calls for Linksys routers (which I can do support on), however, are for the above reason. The other 60% are calls where my customer's router has completely had an Attention Deficit Disorder moment and refuses to work anymore. On 100% of those calls, I have to transfer them to Linksys, because I can't get the thing working. Everytime I dial that number, I say a prayer for the customer. Because I know the minefield I'm sending them to. I'm sending them to your Indian douchebags with no concept of anything except for the barometric pressure in Chicago (and why the hell all of your agents have such a hard on for finding out the forecasts in our areas, I have no idea, but every agent I speak to does this to me. For the love of God, look it up on weather.com or something).
So basically, to sum this all up, if I were given the choice between buying another Linksys product, and having my testicles ripped apart by angry sharks, I would ask if there were any other options. If there wasn't, I'd stick my nuts in the ocean, and let Jaws have at it.
Since writing this, I'm completely 100% independent of Linksys products. I run a Netgear router, and a Belkin wireless card, and have much less problems than I did with the Linksys set up.
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