Right now, if there was one thing I could do, I would make myself absolutely have no feelings for the opposite sex. No, I wouldn't make myself gay. This isn't a struggle with my sexuality, so don't insinuate that into what I'm saying.
It's a struggle with women. Blame it on their complex emotional states, blame it on the princess complex, blame it on whatever you want. But I'm absolutely frustrated with women right now.
I mean, even after a straightening out of the circumstances that I have found myself in, I still feel a little frustrated. I put on music to try to calm me down. Right now, my arms are still shaky.
But seriously, had I not cared so much for this girl, and had she not been a girl, and if I wasn't a Christian, I probably would've just exploded. Thank God I'm not as volatile as I once was. If that were the case, I would not have any friends, and people even want to notice me of the opposite sex, and I would be jumping poker tables upon bad beats. Praise Jesus I can control that.
But seriously, I am just so frustrated. I finally cleared the air of a lot of things that needed to be said. Thankfully, I was able to calm down and say this stuff, and say it without anger.
But like I said, even after clearing the air, and hearing both sides of the story, I just feel so frustrated. I'm just trying to gain footing here. I'm starting to, and hopefully I won't lose my footing anywhere along the line.
And I didn't want to have to have this discussion right now. I didn't feel like this was the right time. But you know what? Sometimes the circumstances, and God, force you to do things at that exact that moment, and not when you think it's the right time. This was one of those times.
But yeah, I know I'm being very vague, but at the time, I can't really go into absolute detail. I have a feeling one day down the line I'll be able to. But not now. But when things hit the fan like this, and you get slammed with a statement like this, you would get frustrated too.
Obviously, there's nothing good that comes out of waking up before 7 AM. That time of day is seriously ungodly.
I feel so very Emo today.
No comments:
Post a Comment