The Legend of Thong Face

Okay, so Jake came down for the weekend. Me, him, and Jonathan always chill when he comes down. Around this time, Jonathan decided he's an emcee, and decided to battle me on my boards. So i did. And he's been spanked. So as a consolation prize, Jake and I decided that we need to buy him something. So we went into Wal-Mart, left Jonathan in the car, got the packs of poker chips Jonathan and I need for the tournament we're having this weekend. Then we went to get his prize...a thong. We took it out to him, and he threw it back in my face. that's when I got an evil idea...and when i get an evil idea....things....happen....

So here we are, at Taco Bell. I'm standing outside, and Jake and Buckman walk in. They have a walkie-talkie, and so do I. They walk up the counter, start placing an order, and hit the call button on the walkie-talkie, signalling me to come in. I run in there with the thong on my face, and jump around behind them, then run out of there. They're standing in there pretending that they're wondering what the crap just happened, when the manager's like "did you see the guy run in here with the panties on his head?" But it didn't stop there...

Cue us up at Hardee's, Jake and Jonathan are going through the drive thru, and buzz me in, I run in one door, do the exact same thing, walk out the door closest to the drive thru, get back in the car...when they drive off (i'm in the back seat, mind you), i poke my head up, scare the drive thru attendant half to death...now everyone at hardee's thinks i'm omnipresent.

BUT IT DOES NOT END THERE.

Now, here we are at Kroger's drive up gas island. We stop there, don't even get gas. I crawl up under the window. Jake walks up to the window and asks the attendant what the cheapest brand of cigarettes they sell is. She turns around to look, and I pop my head up over the counter, with the thong on my head and a wide-eyed expression on my face, like I just got beamed down from another planet or something. She turns around...and the look on her face...I think she thought she was about to get jacked. I was gonna take the act a little bit further and start tapping on the glass, but after seeing the look on her face, I couldn't stop laughing...I dropped back down out of view, and just started cackling. Jake's trying to pretend nothing happened, and ask about the cigarettes, but then he doubled over at the counter, laughing his face off. I run back over to the car, where jonathan's still trying to come over to the island, about ready to die from laughing, and trying to tell him what happened. It must've been five minutes later before Jake mustered up enough strength to stop laughing and come back to home base.

So then we stop and mcdonald's and meet up with Whittney. she buys a happy meal, and gives us the prize...which i somehow use to make jake die laughing over cellulite. It was that little baby Princess Jasmine doll. Those who know the Steve story should understand this. Here's a dialog that made Jake snot Coke:

(While using doll as a puppet) "Hi, my name is Steve. Would you like to see my cellulite? I know you want to see my cellulite!" *then i lift up her hair, and point to her neck, as Jake is telling me to shut up* "Cellulite!"

then Whittney gets harrassed by her ex-boyfriend. so as we're driving off, we honk at them, while i'm sitting in the backseat, again with the thong on my face.

now it's time to hide the evidence. so on the way to jonathan's house, we stop at the local pharmacist's house, and i get out, and shove the thong in his mailbox. as i look back to the car, jake and jonathan are pulling off, because a car is coming, and they're scared it's the cops, so i take off running after them, open the back seat door, and jump in like it's one of those spy movies, and pretty much crush my ribs in the process.

yes...if you are ever in need of a good laugh, go get two of your friends, get 11 packs of poker chips, 3 dealer buttons, a pair of walkie talkies, and a thong. you'll know what to do from there.

Ever had that time when your heart just got ripped out of your rear?

Ever had that time where you had no clue what was going on?

Ever had that moment where you wish you could back to a certain time and unlive some of your mistakes?

Yep, that's where I'm at.

This weekend was crazy.

Friday I went to Eldorado to hear Right Hand Man play. Their guitarist and drummer played in Stick Shift with me. Their bassist helped teach me to play.

Anyway, they had equipment borrowed from a Southern Gospel band (ok?), but no one to run it. So they had me run it for them

It was the first time I had ran someone's sound before. So I was nervous. But, I've been around sound boards a lot, and they don't intimidate me.

So I got it all set up, and get the levels checked. And it sounded good! So that was pimp

That night, I stayed at Buckman's house. We watched Kung Pow, but first I had to practice my Korean, which was frustrating, considering Buckman was being an idiot and kept interrupting the guy on the freakin tape with "That's what she said!"

So after that, I went to bed. I woke up the next morning and decided to try to fix his computer again.

And about 1 1/2 hours later, I was able to finally get his modem to work with Mandrake Linux & his 2.6 kernel. Stupid Lucent modems, it took me 3 months to figure out the solution.

So then I went home, where Popcorn day was bustling with drunks. So I ran around and laughed at the crazy drunks and stuff. Then I went to sleep.

Sunday was Sunday.

Monday is always hell. I finished 399 this time in a poker tournament.

So there you have it.

Ok, so here was the fun yesterday.

I was having a rough week. But yesterday was going good. I was in a great mood. So I decided to play the Freeroll Hold Em tournament on Pokeroom.com

Granted, I had played this tournament several times before, and had only gotten up to 1300th place out of 1800 before I busted out. And I had wasted my entire play money bankroll for the day in 2 hours the past two days. So needless to say, luck had not been with me. So I figured, I'll just be happy if I can just make it past 1000 players.

Well, I did. And it didn't stop there. Within about 15 hands after the first 1000 were knocked out, i was in the top 100! So I stayed there for a long time. Then we got down to the final 200. I had a good amount of chips. I was starting to think I might actually win. Then stupidity struck.

I had Ace Queen. Someone pushed all in. I was gonna fold. I press keyboard shortcuts. F1 is to fold, F2 is to call/check, F3 is to bet/raise. I was trying to hit F1, and somehow my finger hit F2. Three callers, two were all in. My opponents had Ace King and Ace Jack, I was in decent position. But then a Jack came on the board, and I was done for.

But how can I complain? 158 out of 1800 is incredible!

Ah here's a screenshot if you don't believe me:



this is where i'm about halfway through my run. As you can see, I was at 67th place at this point. The highest I got was 25th.

I'm not dead

I'm just dormant

Yeah, long time since I posted. I've got little time, but wanted to check my xanga. I will post something next week

This is been a horrid week. Again. Well, last week was a cakewalk compared to this week. All because everything that happened last week came to a head this week. I now have yet another friend who refuses to speak to me again. This time, the feeling is mutual. This friend I speak of and myself have had more fights than you could imagine. All of this has been brooded by her other friend, my ex-girlfriend. They always come out looking clean, and I am always the bad guy. Only two people will take my side on this one. Fortunately, they aren't both of my yes-men again. It's only one yes man this time. Personally, I think that my ex is a horrid influence on my friend. But I'm getting so freaking sick of talking about it now. I don't wanna hear any of their names again, but sadly, being such a small community, there's no hope in that.

I know this has torn my friends in two. Most of them are trying to remain neutral, trying not to tick either one of us off. Quite frankly, I wish they'd just choose sides, so I'd know who is for me and who is against me. But they won't. And I know my other friend is trying to get people to choose sides. And quite frankly, she is the queen of the game of drama, so she could probably get them swayed over to her side. Is it my destiny to make everyone who was once a friend an enemy? I know I can't escape arguments. I know I have arguments with my best friends. But over petty BS like this? For the record, you don't even wanna know. Most of the time the arguments are over deep topics, or some hard decisions, or something very stressful. But nothing so petty. And they don't blow up this much. So obviously me and her were never really meant to be friends.

Or maybe it runs deeper than that. Maybe the mistakes I made with my ex destroyed this friendship. I don't know. I don't even wanna think about it. To be completely honest, I just wanna forget about it, and push through it, and just get on with life, and not have to worry about it anymore. I just keep waking up, and wishing that all of a sudden, all this stuff would be forgotten by everybody, and I wouldn't have to wake up and face it, day, after day, after day. I wind up sleeping so much, because I just don't wanna think about it, or any other problem I have. I know I'm depressed, and I know I'm hurting. And I know it sucks. And I know I need to snap myself out of it. But what's the point anymore? Whenever I say that things will be better, and I start getting positive again, something else comes along that just makes everything blow goats again.

I keep trying to make things right. But no matter what, I keep ending up being the one hurt, and everyone else keep coming out clean. I hate that. I just wish that I could just give it all up, and be myself. But everyone seems to start using me as floormat, and I resubmit myself to that fate.

Maybe I SHOULD leave this place. Maybe I SHOULD go to school in a foreign country like I've been wanting to. At least no one there will know me as the floormat I am here, unless they just happen to recognize me from this Xanga.

I don't know. Maybe I'm talking crazy now. All I can say, that thank God that the semester is coming to an end. I need summer break. I need a job. And I need some time to think everything through.

Last week's people I pissed off counter: 6

Well, Rick (http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=meatcircus) asked me to post this. I'll make a disclaimer: If you are easily grossed out, DO NOT READ THIS ONE!

The following is how I became a legend of pooping:

I used to be chronically constipated. For some reason (blame on my diet, whatever you want) I would not go. In February of 2003, I was admitted to the hospital because I hadn't gone in about 2 months. Yes, two months. I thought I was gonna die. My physician said I was on the verge of it. Well, they admitted me, and thought that they were gonna have to do invasive surgery. Well, my surgeon was invasive alright, just not with surgery. I think you get the drift. I did not get a finger, I got a hand. Throw up now if you please. He then found out that I had a hernia that was strangulating my bowels and wouldn't let me go. He popped it back so it would no longer be strangulating my bowels. PAIN! Well, things started running smoothly. I took 3 dumps that day.

The next day, they said I had to drink a laxative so that I would be cleared out so that I go in for tests. So I took this sucker. Around 6 PM, I had to go. I got onto the bedside commode to go to work. It felt like I was giving birth. It seemed to come out one millimeter at a time. I was having to breathe like I was doing lamase. I grabbed my IV tree and clung to that for dear life. I swear, I felt my toes curling up into my feet! About 5 minutes later, I hear a loud THUD in the commode. After about 3 minutes, I had caught my breath to get up and look. If I'm lying, I'm dying: the thing was 2 feet long, and about 6 inches in diameter. So I called for a tech to empty it. She did, flushed, and it would not go down. They tried plunging it: IT WOULD NOT GO DOWN. They had to call maintenance in to try to get it down. They had to use a power drill to break it up so that it would flush!

Well, that's the story of how I became a legend of pooping. Now for the story of how I freaked out my youth pastor:

The next day. I went in for a procedure. A colonoscopy. Yay. Well, they gave me an IV drip of pain killers so I could be awake but not feel anything. Well, I went into the room talking. From what I hear, I did not shut up during the entire procedure. I came out of the room talking (I can't remember, but that's what they tell me). I go back to my room and I can't open my eyes! Here comes my youth paster. I'm all like, "Wes man! I can hear you. I know your in here. But I can't see you. Either I've gone blind or I can't open my eyes. Just grab my hand so I'll know you're there." He does. "Yeah, now I see you man!" My eyes are still closed. That's when I told Wes that I now knew why he used to do drugs.

Never give me demerol.

You asked for it Rick.

Some random rants of mine:

Title: Amp Head Shopping And Flaming Imbeciles

Well, yesterday, I became more active in my hunt for an amp head (at least if I can get an amp head, i'll know what kind of cab i should get). So I called hart's, too expensive, and he doesn't have any used heads in. So I called the local pawn shops. Yesterday, I became more passive in my hunt for an amp head.

Here was the dialogue that ensued with the owner of Pat's Pawn in Carmi:

Owner: Pat's Pawn.

Me: Do you have any bass amplifier heads?

Owner: What?

Me: As in, bass guitar amplifiers?

Owner: We have guitar amps.

Me: Good. Do you have any just heads, or amp stacks?

Owner: ...We have guitar amps.

Me: We've resolved that. The question is, do you have just the heads, as in, an amp without the speakers?

Owner: ...We have guitar amps.

Me: ...Ok...well seeing we're not getting anywhere with that...what is the wattage of the amps you have?

Owner: ...We have guitar amps.

Me: YOU ARE A FLAMING IMBECILE! *click*

Round 2:

I found a Tech Soundsystems head friday on ebay. It was a 500 watts...a real supersonic gem. I bid a fair amount. Then I got outbid. I raised my bid. This guy must've went up to 50 bucks, but I'm cheap and I didn't wanna put that much down. I got peed at this nutjob whose bid history included, a yamaha bass

, and polly pockets!

He got outbid...but still...this was a piece of amp head. So, to whomever wins it, I HOPE IT SHORTS OUT, ELECTROCUTES YOU AND YOU DIE!

Round 3:

700W Earth Amp on ebay.

Result:

OUTBID AGAIN

I hope it falls on the guys testicles so he can no longer have sex!

Title: Timeouts and the fun they have with me

Let me clarify this: Websites love timeouts! They love to make you waste time logging back in. Or at least they do to me. Here's several examples to prove that Timeouts have fun screwing with my head:

My e-mail: When I am trying to send an e-mail, I have a server time out. It is an 18 minute timeout. It is the fastest 18 minutes of my life. I type out one paragraph (and granted, I'm a pretty fast typer) and I have to log back in, and I've lost the entire paragraph because I forgot to copy the paragraph I had just typed out, forgetting that timeouts LOVE me!

My tab sites: I do a lot of bass tabbing. When I get bored, I submit a tab. It's what I do. There's a really long song that I tabbed out last night. So I was submitting it today. Well, this is a long process because 1) it's a long song, and 2) I have to figure out the repeat values, because I can't think repeat values when I play, and I don't do them in advance. Again, I get this done, and (wowsers!) fail to copy this to clipboard again, and I get sent back to the login page, where it will no longer let me access the extra super long tab I have just written

Thus leading me to the following conclusion:

Timeouts are the real antichrist!

More later

Here is a scary thought:

I am giving romantic advice to somebody.

God help us all!

So today, I get a PM from one of my friends on Stick Shift's message board. He wants me to call him because he's out of it, he doesn't know what to do, and wants ME to help him.

Needless to say, I can't call him back. I'm in the same boat

I'm getting tired of people expecting me to be the crutch for them. It's ME that needs the crutch. And I'm sick of putting that aside when someone else feels the same way, just because I'm EXPECTED to.

It's always the same thing. Whenever they have problems, I'm one of the first people to hear about it. Whenever I have problems, no one wants to hear it. It's gay. Just plain gay.

I love my friends, but if I get one more message from a friend saying to call him because he has problems that he wants ME to solve...I'm gonna snap.

God, I need a vacation.

Crap man, it's been a while. Where do I begin?

I finally got my linux kernel working. Then they upgraded, so I had to patch it. Now my problems are that I can't get my sound card to work anymore and I can't get my printer to work. Oh well, those can wait a bit. I've hit a fork in the road with both GNOME and KDE. GNOME won't install without a certain package, and I can't find it. I got the package I need for KDE to install, and it still won't. XFce installed fine. Gee, too bad I can't get my login manager to see I have a new environment. So now, I have to find out what's going wrong, and then I will be almost finished with my system. Then I gotta work on someone else's...oy vey.

Our stupid website is going crazy now. Our server has been nothing but one huge raging hormone since early last week. Now we're looking into paid hosting. As much as I hate to pay, I have to.

Well things are almost non-existant with the band. What we're thinking: lineup change. You'll see what I mean soon, if you even pay attention.

I went to a concert Saturday. Right Hand Man (the guitarist and drummer from the old Stick Shift, and the bassist for The Social Outcasts, my older band) played with Next In Line. It was pretty dope. I'm still sore!

Well I'm back again after having one my little apathetic moments earlier this week. They just happen every once in a while, and it helps for me to write that crap out, you know?

Have band practice tonight. Gonna be interesting. My allergies are acting up, and I think my head's gonna explode. But yet I'm still gonna expose it 120 dB of sound tonight. I am so stupid. YAY!

I got all the files I need for the upgrading of my Linux system. All except for the last three nights, the kernel has put through a veritable Hell. The first night, the file was corrupted, so I had to redownload the kernel. There was a new version out anyway, so it was just as well as I get it. So now, I've installed it, but I'm getting errors when I try to boot. Luckily I have my old kernel still on there, and I've been in and out of IRC chat rooms God knows how many times trying to figure out what's wrong, and I think I got it now, and it was due to my own stupidity. We'll see tonight, and hopefully, I'll be able to move on to upgrading the rest of the crap tonight after practice. Thank God it's pretty much installed, so now, I can just patch new versions when they come out. Takes up less room and less download time.

Interesting day on our band's message boards. We had this fake thug racist dude who was dissing one of our Puerto Rican members...then come to find out, the idiot didn't even like my band. Can you say, banned? Yes, that is what he is now. But, not like he was ever gonna show his face again anyway, cause I found out everything about where he was posting, and threatened to get his wannabe rear-end banned from his high-school internet access. That was a fun time. Expecting to see this idiot to try to reregister under another fake e-mail address anytime now and think that we won't know who he is.

That's it for my crazy life. Enjoy!

I'm losing my mind. That's all that I can surmise. I'm becoming the loose cannon I was afraid of becoming again. And I hate it.

Everything is blowing up on me. The road blocks have gone up with the woman I thought was mine...I've given up. Every other route cannot be taking...because it's being travelled by someone else. What else? What if I'm doomed to wander the planet alone?

This is making me sick. There's been times when I've wanted to blow up on people. There's been times when I've just wanted to gut myself. It burns me up, and I just wish I could just live in a hole somewhere.

I'm ashamed of myself...I feel like I'm always gonna be. It just makes me sick.

What am I doing? My band's getting back together, and I've GOTTA be strong for this. But I can't be. I'm nothing but weak, and I've accepted that, and I can just go back to my hole now. No one treats me badly there. I like it that way.

I feel like the biggest loser in the world. Maybe I am. I feel picked apart, and I just wish that I could get everything back. I wish I had myself back, but I'm gone...I found a better place to exist...and I don't know where that is.

I know God still loves me, but I just still feel like I could die and no one would even notice. Maybe I should've died in the hospital last February. I've put myself through so much Hell in this last year. I just feel like crashing...I feel like sleeping for two weeks...I've gotta do something. But what?

Until I have time to post more...

Food for thought, and my main idea about my life: If I could cut off my hands and my mouth...I would commit very little sin.

Allow me to elaborate....Think of the many things people do with their hands. They use obscene gestures to insult people. They kill, they fight, they hurt. There are so many other things to do with hands...with your mouth, you talk badly about people...man I can't think today. But you get what I'm saying?

Something freaky just happened today, I'm guessing it's all cause of friday the thirteenth...yeah, ok sure...whatever.

Well here's what happened:

I was set to volunteer as an usher for a play here at college for lab hours in my theatre class. Well, the people that was to come in were from various high schools around here. One of the schools is where the guitarist that was supposed to play in Draumatikpauz goes, and he showed up. So we started talking before the play, and this dude came up to him. And guitarist dude introduced me to him. Well, the dude looked quite interesting...pretty goth and had about 5 or so piercings. Not like the piercings really freak me out too much anymore...I've been to Cornerstone Festival...it's not gonna phase me that much. And I've seen people worse at our shows. Well, then I shook the dude's hands...and I'm telling you, it felt like I had touched my hand to the bottom of a scalding hot skillet. I had to take my hand away cause I thought it was going to burn off. I'm telling you, I think the dude was demon possessed. I started praying, but i don't know what the heck I was supposed to do in that situation. It quite frankly scared me. I mean, I've been around weird things, but this is by far the freakiest. What was i supposed to do? Did i handle it well?

Just be praying about this guy...I just really have that feeling that whatever was inside him was not supposed to naturally be there...so pray that it gets taken away.

Well, decided I'd let you know what's going on today.

1. Stick Shift should officially have a full roster now! Phil and I found a drummer. We're trying to get hold of our guitarist to make sure he's still in. But, if all goes well, we're set for our return!

That's about it now. I may post more later, but that's just the big news today that I wanted to say something about!

I was sitting at school, doing absolutely nothing, and then all of a sudden, I felt like writing. So I opened up OpenOffice.org Writer and started typing. Here's what I had to say:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I just felt like writing right now. I don't know why. I don't know what I'm going to write about. But I'm going to write. Everything sucks right now. I don't understand why. I should be happy. In fact, I should be running down the halls screaming praises to God at the top of my lungs. I mean, everything has been going good. I have the song written that will launch my music career. God has told me who my future wife is. No one's died within the last month. I've not been diagnosed with cancer. So why am I down on myself?

I'm always looking at everything from the darkest viewpoint. I always look for reasons for why things won't happen, and not the reasons why God wants them to happen. Am I stupid or something? Can I not see that God's reasoning is different than my own? I mean, this is so incredibly stupid. I've got everything going for me, but I can't take time out of my lazy life to even read the Bible. And how about my prayer life? Why is that non-existent? Because I take too much time to be lazy and gripe about how I'm bored and never do anything! If I wanted to do something, why don't I read my Bible and pray?! It's that simple, really! If I would stop being so apathetic about not doing anything and actually do something worthwhile, wouldn't there be a difference in my life? Wouldn't I have a change in my life that I know I need in order to face my future responsibilities, which I know are inevitably coming soon? Why don't I strive for it? Am I scared to face this change? I don't know why I should be. The only thing that's gonna change is that I'm going to become more blessed. Why would I not want to be more blessed? Why can't I just wake myself up out of this depressing dream I've thrown myself back into and do something about it?!

Every time I do this, I make myself go mental. I hurt myself. I hurt other people. I wonder why God would want me. I doubt that God would want me. I turn away for a while. I come back full force. I fizzle out again. Repeat step one. It's a vicious circle, and it's stupid. Every time I do this and get back on track I say how much I hate the way I act when I get to that breaking point and how I would never want to go back there again. But three months later, I'm back there again. It's sickening. Am I that afraid of success, of blessings, that I'll go back to a place I hate to be just to hide from it? Am I just a whine-bag that only wants to get sympathy from others? Why would I want to be like that? Sympathy gets you nothing, but blessings give you everything. And I want everything. I just don't know why I get so scared to get everything. And why do I always feel so stupid? Why do I always have to act the idiot?

Did someone automatically designate me the idiot of the region? It seems no matter what I do, people treat me like the village idiot. My youth pastor, my youth group, a lot of my friends make me feel like I am a huge doofus. I could discover the cure for cancer, and say that to my youth pastor, and he'd just laugh at me and say, “Corey, go back to your hole.” That's the way I feel. It hurts that I always have to be that idiot, and no matter what I say, nobody takes me seriously. They only take me seriously when I'm joking. And when I'm serious, they think I'm being stupid. It's pathetic. I wish I could just get up in front of my whole entire church and tell them I'm not the idiot that they portray me to be. If only I hadn't acted the fool when I first started to go to church there. Maybe I'd be treated differently. Or perhaps the people that continuously make me look like the biggest boob of the church would still find things to pick at.

I always feel like the odd one out. I always feel like people intentionally try to get to me, and try to bring me down. And then, I feel like there's a lot of time when I'm being constantly ignored. I sometimes feel like I could walk into a place and scream, “Bomb!” and no one would even hear me. Sometimes I've been tempted to do that, just to see if anyone would actually hear me.

I think that's all I have to say now. I just wanted to write, and get things out. Now that I've ranted, you can go back to what you were doing. There's nothing more to see here.

I got Phil so good today...he has gotten obsessed with eBay, and started talking about his conquests...so I just pulled out one of my jokes to get him distracted. Phil is: I touched a llama!!!!!!!! and you should know who I am:

I touched a llama!!!!!!!! says:
i just got the stavesacre ep for $6.99 still sealed

Corey Lanier: I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me, I WON'T BE IGNORED! says:
you boob

I touched a llama!!!!!!!! says:
did you see the one with the buy it now option?

Corey Lanier: I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me, I WON'T BE IGNORED! says:
nope

I touched a llama!!!!!!!! says:
they had 2 and i got 1

I touched a llama!!!!!!!! says:
i just saved with shipping a dollar less than full price where i was going to get it

I touched a llama!!!!!!!! says:
GO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Corey Lanier: I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me, I WON'T BE IGNORED! says:
yay phil...you're the coolest

Corey Lanier: I can't feel the way I did before, don't turn your back on me, I WON'T BE IGNORED! says:
can i have your kids...i mean, autograph?

I touched a llama!!!!!!!! says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I touched a llama!!!!!!!! says:
..................................................................

I touched a llama!!!!!!!! says:
..........................................................................

I touched a llama!!!!!!!! says:
................................no

Thought this might brighten someone's day...

Well, I just realized I still have this Xanga thingy, so I decided to get back on here. That's when I found out that someone had signed me up for a Premium trial membership...I only have one day of it left...WOOHOO! Who did that?

Here's an update on me.

1. I finished that testimony. But I got sick the night before I was to give it. So I did it the next week. And I about threw up giving it. Oh fun. But it turned out well, even though I was obviously nervous as heck. It didn't help that it just happened to be the week my youth pastor showed up to the group to make an announcement. I always feel like he's scrutinizing my every move anyway. So, that amplified that by 100 times. But it all went well.

2. I've started to work on a song. This is a huge song. In fact, God has seriously told me this will be the song I'm going to sell first as a songwriter. I've put guitar, bass, and piano to this song. I'd put drums to it, but I suck. I'm talking to a dude at church about doing that. Another dude is supposed to hopefully put violin to it. Did I tell you how BIG this song is? I even know who I'm supposed to pitch this song at. Not telling who. But said singer is big. More details on this as they come.

3. Staying single is hard...NOW THAT I WANT TO BE SINGLE! I couldn't get nobody when I wanted a girlfriend, except for a psycho who will remain unnamed, but is the big reason why I've gone solo. And now, this girl I've met at college is showing interest in me. And not that I wouldn't date her, because I dig her, I just keep thinking, "Crap, what were you doing 3 months ago?!"

4. I've decided not to program that MSN wannabe for Linux. I'm pushing forward with downloading the upgrades for Linux on my home computer. Yes, even with dialup. So yes, this has been like a monthlong process, and it's still not halfway done. This is considering that since I've started, both my graphical interfaces and the kernel have come out with new versions that I've had to redownload. I'm currently in the process of downloading a 157MB file at home. And one thought downloading songs on dialup was an ordeal. Luckily I got a download manager that should hopefully resume the download even after I shut down my PC.

5. Lately I've been feeling dry. If ya peoples will pray that I get out of this one, do it! Thanks in advance.

My goals this week:

1. Read my Bible EVERY DAY!

2. Get drums to my big song.

3. Audition one of the two singers for the song that want to record the demo of it for me.

4. Write some new songs!!!!!!!

5. Finish the big 157MB download, download the new kernel, and then continue getting all the other files I need.

Well the weekend's up, and I'm sitting here about to give an update on how things are going with me. Note: I don't get online much on the weekends, so therefore, not much posting here on the weekends. But it's all good, I'll give you a full-flavored report on Mondays.

1. I spent a lot of time with Phil. For those of you who have no idea who Phil is, he's one of my best friends and also the lead singer of Stick Shift. Anyway, we had a pretty good time. He was having a hard week, so he needed a bit of company over the weekend...so it was all about chilling out and being stupid.

2. I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE MATRIX! Yeah, Phil made the vow that the next time I came over he'd explain it to me. I came in the first time I watched it at what I thought was 15 minutes into the movie. Come to find out I missed about 45 minutes. Well, he didn't need to explain much, we got to one part of the movie and this huge light turned on over my head. So I basically feel dumb now.

3. I made it to church for the first time in a month! I hadn't been in a while...like I do believe I said before, I went for one month being a recluse...so I didn't get out, period...with the exception of maybe 3 times. And the only person I had heard from and had heard concern from was Phil...as always. Well I had several people come up to me at church with concern about where I had been...that made me feel better.

Considering this is the first day of the week..I'm going to post some of my goals for this week, and as the days progress...we'll see whether I complete them or not.

1. Finish and give out the devotional I volunteered to give at BASIC, my on-campus Christian organization, Wednesday. Basically, all I'm doing it about is about my month of reclusiveness and how I shed off all this excess shame and pain to get closer to God, and how people should find a way to face their darkness and pain in a quest to follow God more clearly, but I've just gotta piece it together so it makes a rational thought.

2. Burn a new CD this week.

3. Actually make it to the right class at the right time.

4. Start to work on a program to run MSN messenger on Linux, considering none of the ones I have downloaded work right.

5. Finish my assignment for theater class.

That's it for today! Later!

Well, here's what be going down with me lately...just a brief update for today, and I'll give you details day-by-day.

1. I just came out of a 1-month reclusiveness, more stronger in my faith than I was before. I just had a hard September-November, so December was about getting back on track, the hard way. And now a lot of good things have been happening. I have been understanding more about what I should've understood earlier. God's been granting me some knowledge into my future, I won't go much into detail about that. More details as they arrive.

2. Stick Shift may be getting back together. That is only a thought.

3. I am officially taking vocal lessons. Now Phil won't be able to say I sound like Wes Martin.

4. I have SWORN OFF DATING! At least until I finally meet the girl God has for me. That's gonna be a test of my patience, but I'm finally secure enough to give that up. I'm so glad I did...no more drama.

That's about it...yup....more later!